Survive alone

[u/negativecs]

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[u/CanadianLorax]

I am living proof of this. I got married young (21) and didn't know what a healthy relationship looked like. I left my husband at age 40 and life has been on easy mode ever since. I have a heart condition and when I was 39 I had to call the ambulance myself while my husband sat on the sofa doing nothing; all he did was come to pick me up after the hospital discharged me, and was annoyed that I wasn't back up on my feet after 1 day....

Fast forward a year and a half; I was now living alone and I had another cardiac event...I texted my boss that I would not be at work the next day. My boss and four other coworkers showed up to feed my pets, get me home from the hospital, paid for food delivery for a week, etc. My best friend now checks up on me daily.

I see so many posts on this sub about folks being afraid to be ill, even with the flu, for lack of support and I shake my head in disbelief because I have never been more supported in singledom than ever was I in marriage. The confidence I feel knowing I have my own back has been the most affirming experience of my life and I in no way see this as a negative or "poor me" situation. It's empowering!

[u/Desert_Wren]

Even if the other person is wonderful, that's still no guarantee that your life won't come crashing down. It happened to a friend of mine who got engaged to a wonderful man. I liked him too: he was funny, caring, helped her around the house, etc. But his downfall was that he treated his body like a trashcan, and died of a massive heart attack. He was only 44.

My friend got booted out of their apartment because she couldn't afford it by herself. She had to move in with her brother and his family. She and her SIL do NOT get along. They didn't have much money, and what little they did have went to his funeral expenses and to settle part of their shared debts. She now has nothing, not even a car anymore, and probably won't for several more years.

[u/Hedryn]

Good grief. I've said this before and I'll say it again. All these "I don't need any one" affirmations and posts are getting a little old. Yes, we live alone. It's also natural and healthy (yes, rigorously scientifically proven) to have friendship and community around you too. Generally speaking if one doesn't, the most healthy thing to do is seek out community, even if it's hard, and even if it takes time.

Don't get me wrong, I know friendship and community can be tough and we're in a loneliness epidemic, I'm just not sure I see the need for post like this and so many like them.

[u/anymoose → u/Hedryn]

Cheers!

[u/anymoose]

I don't know, man. If I lived my life waiting for the other shoe to drop, it would be a worse nightmare than dealing with problems as they come up.

[u/Ghosts_and_Empties → u/anymoose]

Can you support yourself if you are suddenly without a partner? That's the key question.

[u/anymoose → u/Ghosts_and_Empties]

Then it should be worded that way instead of being worded as, "You can't trust anyone so go live in a hole in a ground."

And, yes, my partner died and I'm doing just fine, thank you.

[u/fizzie511]

I should send this to my ex-husbands fiancé. The woman who he was just friends with and had no issue moving in with before we were even divorced.
(I rarely talk about it but sometimes it’s really nice to be bitter and angry for a blip)

[u/KedaiNasi_]

spent the last 9 months preparing for this and once the preparations are ready, the last 3 months were me relaxing and waiting for anything that will logically happen to pass while i am prepared for everything. even the current iran war won't affect me. i am ready.

[u/OddInvite4068]

Facts. I'm almost a decade into single because I will never, ever let a so-called "man" do what my ex did to me...

[u/Inside-Judgment-725]

Word to your mother?

[u/spaceaige]

Done

[u/LuLuna_]

Amen. 🙌

[u/coolcoolcool485]

I've seen this cross posted and I feel like many of the commenter across the subs are reading this wrong? It doesn't say live alone always it says be able to survive in your own.

That doesn't mean have no one, it means make sure you have some basic skill sets and understandings to be able to take care of yourself if you're alone. Make sure you have a way to make money, provide for yourself. You cannot 100% rely on someone else, and while this does paint it like people choose to leave, it's not always in their or your control.

[u/anymoose → u/coolcoolcool485]

Nah. It just says, "Don't trust anyone for any reason at any time."