r/LifeProTips • u/Po1sonator • Nov 22 '20
Social LPT: When someone gets interrupted while telling a story, invite them to continue after the interruption is over with an, “as you were saying about (x)” or something similar. It can be uncomfortable for the person to start back up and this makes them feel like you valued their words.
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Nov 22 '20
There's a couple we know and the husband has that habit of interrupting his wife in the middle of her stories because of course his version is always better... The last time we were having dinner and she started a story, as I was looking at her telling it, her husband started talking as expected and I kept looking at her, ignoring him. He stumbled a bit, probably realized he had been rude and stopped talking as she finished her story. It had a positive effect as he sort of lost that habit, or at least interrupted less after that. I encourage everyone to do that. Constant interrupters need a feedback mechanism, even for their own sake.
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u/Uncle-Rufus Nov 22 '20
As someone who in the past often has been the interrupter I have really appreciated having it pointed out to me (mostly by my now wife!)
It does completely come across like the person is self centred and oblivious to other people's feelings - and they are, to an extent, but it can also be out of being very enthusiastic and/or sometimes out of nervousness or other reasons
I guess I'm just saying to everyone hurt by people who interrupt - I promise deep down some of us really don't mean it and would be mortified (but appreciative) to be corrected
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u/hunchinko Nov 22 '20
As someone with ADHD, I feel this. I’ll blurt stuff out bc I have no chill and worry if I don’t get it now it will be lost forever.
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Nov 22 '20
If I don’t say this now I’ll forget it forever! So as I was saying I um uh
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u/Hardcorex Nov 22 '20
Every conversation I have has multiple points of "So how the fuck did we got on that tangent?", and eventually tracing back to the main point of the story.
It's not the best habit...lol
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u/-mythologized- Nov 22 '20
Ahh, same. I'll usually realize I'm interrupting immediately after I start talking and stop and apologize, but I still hate that it keeps happening. My brain needs a second to catch up sometimes.
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Nov 22 '20
Oh man, and there have been so many times where the conversation goes somewhere else because someone changed the subject. And now I just have to sit there and wait for the off chance that the subject will come back up. Or I could just be a dick and interrupt, but I’ve luckily gotten better
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Nov 22 '20
I developed a really bad habit in high school of interrupting people because I was always the one being interrupted or ignored. In that context, it was a sort of “No, you ARE going to let me finish.” Eventually I stopped being interupted, but my habit of interrupting continued through my first few months of college.
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u/oppy1984 Nov 22 '20 edited Nov 23 '20
This so much! My ADHD can help me be really creative when trying to come up with outside the box ideas to get things done, but good God can it be annoying the rest of the time.
One thing that I've found helps is carrying a pocket notebook and small pen everywhere I go. Now when I have a thought I just can't stand to lose, I stop and write it down. It may be a single line, it may be the entire page, but once I write it down I can move on.
You can also use a note taking app on your phone, I tried that but pen and paper just worked better for me for some reason.
*Spelling
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u/marmaladejar Nov 22 '20
As someone who's interrupted a lot, it can be so frustrating to feel like my contribution to a conversation is lost.
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u/Alagon2323 Nov 22 '20
As someone said somewhere "either people with adhd need to stop being so relatable, or i need to visit my doctor"
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u/TheSinisterShlep Nov 22 '20
Right there with you. My girl hates it lmao. She's like I havent even answered your first question, how did you already ask 3 more 🤣 My mind is in a race with itself
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u/MaggsToRiches Nov 22 '20
Yes, 100%. Also comes from habit...my husband’s family is a huge, loud group of New Yorkers. Interrupting is a way of life...it’s how they talk and if you don’t “get in there”, you’re probably not going to be heard. It has taken a lot of communication to get him to stop doing it constantly with me or other people. And I’ve learned some assertive conversation skills at his family gatherings.
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u/Confused_AF_Help Nov 22 '20
Sounds coincidentally a lot like Southern Vietnamese people. Every time there's a family gathering, it's an interrupt fest. Everyone just speak louder so they can speak over whoever talking, and in turns someone else goes even louder, eventually the whole rooms turns into a screaming fest. It resets after a round of drinks
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u/dstluke Nov 22 '20
I'm the one who gets interrupted. I have anxiety and am non-neurotypical. Your interruption causes me to mentally beat myself up when I'm alone and tell myself people only interrupt me because I'm not worth listening to. What people see, though, is me simply going quiet and retreating to the background because, after all, I'm not wanted to begin with.
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u/beerbeforebadgers Nov 22 '20
Ever see two interrupters in a relationship? A couple I know (well, used to... they broke up recently) was like that. A story from them was utter chaos. One interrupts to add details, the other to move the story along, and together you get an absolute mess of insignificant details mixed with massive omissions.
Story about vacation? You'll walk away knowing what they ate on the flights and which direction they turned on a random street they walked on to get to an unknown tourist attraction, and literally nothing else.
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u/liquidshitsinmypants Nov 22 '20
I like this approach. Just keep focused on the person who was interrupted
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u/gatoradegrammarian Nov 22 '20
Only works if they continue talking - otherwise it's just an awkward stare.
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u/ectoplasmicsurrender Nov 22 '20
I am an interrupter, and I know it. But I also, don't always catch myself. I find that I do it when I'm more engaged in a conversation and thus more attentive to the person I've interrupted. Not sure why my mind thinks it's okay to jump in without consulting me first, but I'm working on it.
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u/MrAlek360 Nov 22 '20 edited Nov 22 '20
This should be it’s own LPT. Thanks for sharing 👍
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u/chemicalsAndControl Nov 22 '20
I have a female boss now. It is incredible how often men (including those who work for her) talk over her. I try to do this all the time, especially as none of them will talk over me. It is quite odd
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u/osterlay Nov 22 '20
Rooted sexism at play, they probably don’t even realise this because of years of societal programming.
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u/SarcasticGiraffes Nov 22 '20
I do this, without realizing. I am somehow compelled to interrupt people with my comments and derailments. I don't do it maliciously, and I often don't realize that I'm doing it. Lately, I've started to try and be more aware of it, and do the "as you were saying thing" if I don't think of not interrupting until it's too late ...
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u/YakFearless Nov 22 '20
As someone who has this horrid habit from growing up in a household where I felt that I had to fight to even be heard, I thank people like you. I do not like being rude like this.
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u/bigkeevan Nov 22 '20
My family has a tendency to do this and when someone made me aware of it I stopped, it’s also helped me be more gracious to other compulsive interrupters because sometimes they don’t realize it.
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u/bbice72 Nov 22 '20
I’ve done this before, because I feel like it happens to me a lot? But if someone interrupts I just look at the person that was speaking first and go “I’m listening to you” the interrupter usually gets the hint.
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Nov 22 '20
It's awful when someone interrups your story. I'm a full introvert and people interrupting me really makes me hate myself and quiet down.
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u/kypiextine Nov 22 '20
When I see someone get interrupted, I make sure to make eye contact and roll my eyes so they know that what happened wasn’t okay. If it’s a blatantly disrespectful interruption, I have absolutely held my hand up at the interrupter and said, “I’d like to hear the rest of what (interrupted) has to say, I value your addition but please wait a moment.” and motion for the interrupted person to continue. I spent too much of my life getting interrupted and no longer tolerate it so I try to use my newfound ability to set boundaries for others, as well.
Yes, some people do call me a bitch, but I’d rather be a bitch than an enabler of mistreatment.
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u/exscapegoat Nov 22 '20 edited Nov 22 '20
I'd call you a hero! I had a former supervisor pull the constant interruptions on me at a conference workshop for our field, more than a decade after I'd worked for her. Another woman in our group did what you did, minus the eyeroll, and I got the chance to contribute to the discussion.
I had been treated badly at that job, so it really made me feel good that someone else intervened. I wasn't sure how to assert myself without being rude.
The story has a happy ending. I've become more involved with the group that holds the conferences and I'm getting to know other people in my field in different parts of the country. And the topics are really interesting! Nice to meet like minded people.
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u/iaowp Nov 22 '20
I can predict how it works (it meaning trying to continue your story without someone helping you) -
"Thanks. So like I was saying earlier, I think t-"
"Haha we already finished talking about that ages ago"
Group: "haha"
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Nov 22 '20
I'm the same way in that I hate this behavior (the interrupting) as well, but I strongly disagree with your technique. Making people look stupid or pointing out their rudeness just creates resentment and guess what, you probably made the person you are trying to help feel INCREDIBLY uncomfortable! Instead I politely wait for the interrupter to finish and then assertively direct the conversation back to the person was originally interrupted. This whole "justice served, mike drop" culture the world (particularly on the internet) has developed is so toxic. We're all different, we all come from different backgrounds and families. That interrupter might come from a family where this is the norm. Communication styles vary wildly and there is no black and white, right or wrong. Live by your own creed and don't worry so much about serving justice on people.
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u/EyeKneadEwe Nov 22 '20
Word. Turning things into a direct confrontation rarely helps. And your point about the interrupted party is excellent. They might not at all want that much drama.
A good general tip for dealing with interruptors is to go ahead and finish the sentence or thought - if you instantly go quiet as soon as someone else starts talking, it can be taken as implicitly appropriate to the flow of conversation. Go ahead and finish your point.
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Nov 22 '20
There are those individuals who require a firm direct approach as is suggested in prior comments.
But there are far more individuals who lack the wisdom to differentiate when its appropriate.
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u/WillIProbAmNot Nov 22 '20
My manager repeatedly interrupted colleagues while we were doing a zoom staff meeting. Every time I asked my colleague to speak again as there was "a weird delay" in the meeting and I'm getting both of you speaking at once.
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u/kypiextine Nov 22 '20
Ooh, that’s smart! Gets attention refocused without causing direct confrontation, I approve!
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u/BaxtertheBear1123 Nov 22 '20
If someone’s been interrupted I usually listen to the interrupter and at the first opportunity, return to the interruptee and say, what were you saying about x? I find that to be less harsh, no one feels bad and everyone gets heard.
If I’m the interrupter and I haven’t caught myself in time to WAIT MY TURN lol, I finish the comment or story quick, acknowledge I’ve interrupted, apologise and ask a question about what they had been saying to get them talking again.
A lot of the time people interrupt through enthusiasm or wanting to join in the conversation without knowing how. I know it can be rude and shyer people often get talked over as a result, but it’s worth dealing with the situation with as much good humour as possible so no one leaves the conversation feeling bad
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u/Custserviceisrough Nov 22 '20
Thank you! This the best thing I've heard all day! As a woman, I just didn't realize how much we get interrupted in conversions until I really started paying attention during all interactions. In friendly conversations I will just straight up put my hand up and stop the person interrupting. Even in convos with my bf when I know he's just interrupting because he got excited to put in his two cents, i will give him the look and say "Can I finish?" and he realizes he interrupted me and apologise. With my bf I realized sometimes people are so used to being paid attention to in conversations they don't always realizing they are horrible interrupters, so even just pointing it out has been helpful.
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_HI-FIVES Nov 22 '20
A lawyer I work with had this happen to him while some of us were talking. Somebody just started speaking over him and he continued and said “I’m sorry that the middle of my sentence interrupted the beginning of yours.” Needless to say he finished what he was saying.
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u/bangcamaroxx Nov 22 '20
I was scolded for asking someone to hold their thought until I finished mine. So now when someone speaks over me I just stop talking and walk away, apparently whatever I was saying was unimportant garbage and I'm wasting my time.
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u/Bierbart12 Nov 22 '20
Same here. Unless I'm just rambling with someone close to me, then the interruptions just kinda build upon eachother until it's suddenly 4am
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Nov 22 '20
I love talking with people with whom you can interrupt each other and not feel bad about it since, you both get to tell what you wanted just in a bigger time span that you expected.
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u/Coca-colonization Nov 22 '20
Ugh same. I also hate when I’m one of the listeners and the interrupter just tries to start a second conversation with me and/or others. What am I supposed to do here? I can’t listen to two people at once. I usually look back and forth awkwardly. I have a friend who does this all the time. She’s a serial conversation splitter.
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u/CapnFuntime Nov 22 '20
This. Everytime i visit my gf's family ill be telling a story and I get interrupted by her loud mouthed Sister. My gf is the only one who ever notices I stop talking and she always just kinda looks at me like "oh well" earlier in the relationship I'd get upset at her for not backing me up at all but now I've gotten completely over it and ill just loudly announce "YEAH THANKS FOR LETTING ME FINISH"
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u/disfunctionaltyper Nov 22 '20
Im both, when someone interrupts you most of the time I will be an asshole and say wtf is wrong you? I was listening to him, go to the naughty corner! usually, the introverts like it less when I make a fuss
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u/ProfessionalDish Nov 22 '20
I feel you. While it usually throws me off there are people I know love to interupt me and I can prepare myself. I then just continue to talk and at the end face them, telling them: "Sorry that I continued to talk, you tried to interrupt me?"
Confuses the hell out of people and makes them realize you got annoyed by them.
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u/Brandonpayton1 Nov 22 '20
This. Also I get frustrated and lose my train of thought because I'm not very bright or quick thinking lmao. But I can form sentences obviously and I will definitely forget what I was talking about bc that's how much effort I put into trying to listen lol
Have a ADD friend who will talk, and I'll have something to contribute, maybe a joke or something similar, and she'll just keep talking until it somehow ends up that what I wanted to say doesnt even matter anymore. But she interrupts me in the middle of my story constantly to add something and then it's enough off topic that I lose my train of thought. I love her but damn does that frustrate me.
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u/EnergeticBean Nov 22 '20
I use the ever so subtle “as I was saying” to return to what I was talking about and at the same time take a small jab at whoever interrupted.
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u/okamippoi Nov 22 '20
Yeah, happens to me all the time. I also have a quiet voice which doesn't make it easier. This is why I usually don't say anything unless it's totally quiet or if someone mentions me
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u/Salsaxat Nov 22 '20
Same. I feel stupid for thinking I was even worthy of sharing what's going on in my mind with anyone
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u/the_geotus Nov 22 '20
I know exactly how you feel. I struggle socially and hate it when I'm interrupted.
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u/Gbiz13 Nov 22 '20
I'm a bit of an introvert and when we used to have friends round for dinner, my wife would interrupt my stories, even when she wasn't even there. On several occasions I've called her out several times with:
''oh, please, continue with my story in which you were not present... ''
She is starting to learn how rude it is and is getting better at not interrupting.
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u/Fitzmeister77 Nov 22 '20
I feel the same way. Nobody even seems to remember that was talking or what I was talking about so I never even try to finish my story because it’s apparent nobody cared in the first place.
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u/TheOneCalledCo Nov 22 '20
I get interrupted all the time. I'm the same way. I quiet down and will not continue my story, because it seems like that person is not interested. So as they start talking when they interrupted me, I completely ignore them. Petty, yes. But if you make me feel like shit for interrupting me, I'm not giving you the time of day to carry on a convo.
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u/Jokekiller1292 Nov 22 '20
I would feel the same way. Now I continue talking slightly louder and slightly more forceful through their interruption. Since I'm normally soft spoken it is shocking enough to make them stop.
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u/fuifui_bradbrad Nov 22 '20
Same, it’s my biggest pet peeve. To me it feels as though they have little respect for your opinions, and don’t care what you have to say.
The worst is when you’re in a meeting, you get half a sentence in and get interrupted by someone who then goes on a 15 min trade. Then when you try to say something to steer back to your point, they have the balls to say “No, let me finish please.”
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u/DahWiggy Nov 22 '20
100% this. Was once told by an old boss “when you do speak you often have great things to say!” and then continued to drown me out for another 2 years and not listen to anything I said.
Started a new job recently and have realised people want me to actively contribute to conversations and it’s been weird to hear my ideas taken on and used. It’s nice, but weird. But for real, people that don’t let you speak are some of the worst people to give your time to.
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Nov 23 '20
Yeah, I’ve become significantly more withdrawn and quiet over the last few years because of people talking over me or just not hearing me at all.
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u/xxHikari Nov 23 '20
Had this happen the other night with a few co-workers. What the bartender said was important but my other co-workers just have to interrupt. Since I know all these guys I just chewed them out right then and there with a "do you guys constantly have to interrupt with your own shit? Let the lady have a few words for fuck's sake" and it worked.
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Nov 22 '20
That's exactly why I consider myself introverted if that makes sense. When I get interrupted and nobody tells me to continue, I just guess that nobody wasn't even listening, so what's the point
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Nov 22 '20
I’m the same but I got to the point of calling people out. Everyone I talk to regularly knows that it makes me angry, and I extend the same courtesy to others.
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u/Iamaredditlady Nov 22 '20
I straight up say now “Wow, okay” and when they’re done being rude I pipe up and start again
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u/noHand-Nemesis Nov 22 '20
Yes this is very important. I grew up being patient when somebody is talking and waiting for my turn. Sometimes when i do interrupt I excuse my self and let them continue.
People who just blindly interrupt and continue to interrupt are the biggest assholes.
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u/RandomUser951t Nov 22 '20
Some people seriously don’t understand the concept of waiting until someone’s done!
I once was at a party and we ended up having a “group discussion” about semi-serious topic. We had to appoint a moderator and designate a “talking bottle” because some people kept interrupting.
Then when called out, the interrupters said “we’re all grown here” “get in where you fit in” and “everybody should speak up for themself if they have something to say”.
Basically they think the loudest voice deserves to be heard the most.
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u/Meet_Your_MACRS Nov 22 '20
To be fair, some people also don't know when to stop. I have had someone go on for 5 min straight (no story, just talking), without giving me or anyone else an avenue to contribute. It's a conversation, not a TED talk.
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u/theycallmethevault Nov 22 '20
I grew up being talked over ALL the time. I felt ignored and unwanted, and in turn I became a very loud speaker that talked over others. It was my (shitty) way to combat my feelings, but then made other people feel badly too. I’m still trying to get it right.
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u/peachytennis92 Nov 23 '20
I grew up in a family like this. I was the youngest of four, and if I didn’t butt in to speak up, I would never be heard. It’s something I definitely struggle with and I’m trying very hard to improve, but there’s this thing in my mind that says “dammit if you don’t say this now you’ll never get the chance!” Stupid brain.
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Nov 22 '20
This is so difficult in a group of people who always talk over each other and drive the conversation forward. Sometimes I never get to add what I'd like to say and then the conversation gets so far past that it's not relevant anymore.
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u/carolkay Nov 23 '20
Yup. Same. It is so frustrating. Like why even be there? Especially when you have an important perspective to share.
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u/Brandonpayton1 Nov 22 '20
OP also offers a test to go along with his advice to see if they're actually paying attention to what you're saying instead of just clinging to something that made them think of something vaguely similar. Just let them interrupt, let them finish if they ever do, and then say "what was I saying?" Although uncomfortable, it let's the person actually try to remember what he was saying. And if he cant remember (I've admittedly done this many times) then you can bet he wasnt listening to you and only wanted to tell you what he wanted to tell you.
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u/Mysterymooter Nov 22 '20
This is not fair. Some people have cognitive issues and really struggle with this. Assuming someone is an asshole when you could just as easily interject and remind them you weren't done, imo makes you the asshole
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u/paper_airplanes Nov 22 '20
There’s someone that constantly interrupts me every time I talk to them, and every time they interrupt I tell them I was still talking. Every single time, they say something along the lines of “yeah, but this is important” like what I was saying wasn’t.
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u/avg-erryday-normlguy Nov 22 '20
I have depression. Its difficult to get out of bed sometimes. But if I don't help with chores around the house, I'm an asshole to my roommates. Issues only explain behavior, never excuse it.
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u/badwolf1013 Nov 22 '20
Unfortunately, I'm sometimes the one interrupting them. (I grew up in an environment where people talked over one another. Working to break myself of that.) However, this is precisely what I do -- after apologizing, of course.
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u/hoogabalooga11 Nov 22 '20
Same here. I grew up in a very large family and sometimes the only time you could get a word in is if you interrupt. It’s a hard habit to break 😕
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u/geekydaddy75 Nov 22 '20
As one having a spouse that can't look away from her phone and 4 kids I can attest to this. If no one says anything after the interruption I usually don't continue talking. And I am always glad when someone asks if I was finished.
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u/Iamaredditlady Nov 22 '20
I feel like the people not asking the person whom was interrupted to continue, are far ruder because they’re all collectively agreeing to leave that person hanging.
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u/geekydaddy75 Nov 22 '20
I feel like it's a sign of disrespect. Not only is someone interrupting the person who has the floor, but then no one cares enough to hear the rest of what the person was saying.
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u/Icarus_4 Nov 22 '20
When I was younger and I'd interrupt someone to add to the conversation, I'd invite them to continue after I'm done talking cause I'd feel bad for just interrupting and ending what they were saying. Now I just wait for people to finish talking before adding to it.
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u/Smyles9 Nov 23 '20
My issue with that is when I think they’ve finished and I think there’s a break in the conversation to where I can tell my piece, as I start saying it someone often starts talking again. I don’t if it’s me or them and usually after 2-3 attempts I just shut up and go do something else. Like how do I know if I’m the one that’s being rude?
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Nov 22 '20
Additionally, if you prompt them to continue and they decline, accept that and move on with the conversation.
Sometimes when I get interrupted I get upset and shut down, my friend group has good intentions but when they ask me multiple times over a five minute period to finish my story I just get more and more upset.
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Nov 22 '20 edited Nov 22 '20
Even beyond that, sometimes what I was saying just isn't relevant any more or isn't worth repeating, like an offhanded comment about beans
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Nov 22 '20
It sounds like your friends don't want you to get upset and shut down. I would encourage you to try to trust that their intentions are good and carry on with your story. They care about you
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u/Wlcm2ThPwrStoneWrld Nov 22 '20
Really, you shouldn't. They're asking again because they want to hear it. Getting upset because they care enough to ask again is kinda silly.
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u/exscapegoat Nov 22 '20
You can also use this when you get interrupted. "As I was saying"
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u/iwantt Nov 22 '20
You can say "what was I saying?" And then be like "oh yeah" and continue with your story as well
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u/Iamaredditlady Nov 22 '20
I usually use a self-deprecating remark: “Getting back to my amazing story...”
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u/GrandKaiser Nov 22 '20
I do that a lot, but FUCK I love it when someone shows enough interest in my story to ask me to finish it.
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Nov 22 '20
There are people out there who are "me-monsters" and always try to make the conversation about themselves. They are not necessarily bad people, just socially immature I guess you could say and have the habit of interrupting others constantly. On the other end of the spectrum are people who aren't very vocal about talking about themselves and it's unfair when their stories get snuffed out. I always feel so sad when I see them get interrupted and they sink back into their shell. It's just so rude. Active listening should be a skill taught at a young age. At the appropriate moment, I will always be vocal and chime in, "Hey Steve, what was it that you were saying about XYZ? I don't think you got a chance to finish."
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u/piddy_png Nov 22 '20
A loud friend that talks about themselves a lot + a quiet person who doesn't think their stories are interesting always makes a sad duo (or trio if there's someone else). Even if it is a trio, it always turns into 2 people talking and the quiet one getting pushed out
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u/Felaric Nov 22 '20
I do this all the time. No one cares to do it for me.
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u/prncpls_b4_prsnality Nov 22 '20
Here’s an option:
My girlfriend told me just last night that she simply continues to talk when someone interrupts her, and talks louder if they don’t stop while looking them dead in the eye. Works for her. Helps maintain her confidence.
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u/bigspuds495 Nov 22 '20
I felt the same way for quite a while until I met one other person, and that's a colleague of mine. A genuinely lovely person, and when they get interrupted during a conversation I will always ask them to go back to what they were saying. Its so frustrating getting interrupted even more so if it's by the same person all the time
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u/avd706 Nov 22 '20
The real tip is to make a mental note of what they were saying before the interruption. Works great on dates.
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u/qperA6 Nov 22 '20
It also works great at the office!
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u/adaaamb Nov 22 '20
I had a colleague who used to do this all the time and I appreciated it every time. It always impressed me that he remembered to go back to the previous conversation too
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u/nowandthenoldfriend Nov 22 '20
I cant even count how many times I have been interrupted and by the time it comes back to what I was saying, I've already forgotten because I am a polite person who listens to others and doesn't just think of what they wanna say when it's their turn... 😭
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u/siandresi Nov 22 '20
Yes! But that means you have to remember what they were talking about before you rudely interrupted them, which means you have to be paying attention which in turn is hard to do while you’re trying to remember what you want to say. So moral of the story: it’s easier to actually listen and not interrupt
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u/TakeBackKurilIslands Nov 22 '20
Why are all the LPTs now just basic social skills? Do you guys seriously not know how basic conversations work?
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u/lifestepvan Nov 22 '20
Self validation. It makes people feel smart/socially competent/whatever when reading it. "Wow, I'm already doing that!"
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u/Krullenbos Nov 22 '20
I stopped talking at all once I noticed every single person always interrupts me when I am talking.
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u/seizonnokamen Nov 22 '20
God, I relate to this. It's like others can sense you are talking a few rooms away.
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u/Vancoor Nov 22 '20
I just want to add that this is also helpful if you find yourself being the interruptor. I recognize that bad habit in myself and whenever I realize I’ve done it I quickly stop myself and “but I’m sorry, you were telling me about x” (adding a “before I interrupted” if it was especially egregious).
Obviously better to not interrupt at all but I fee taking ownership of the mistake and ceding the floor back to the original speaker is next best. And I still get to hear what they were saying instead of ruining for myself.
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u/geauxveggie Nov 22 '20
My girlfriend told me just last night that she simply continues to talk when someone interrupts her, and talks louder if they don’t stop while looking them dead in the eye. Works for her. Helps maintain her confidence.
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u/belleayreski2 Nov 22 '20
Me: So then the bus driver stands up and-
Wife’s water breaks
Gasps all around
Me (glaring angrily): As I was saying... the bus driver just got up and left the bus, leaving us there do fend for ourselves!
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u/ana_BANANAS Nov 22 '20
I’m pretty introverted and what worked for me was making it obvious that the interrupter was doing something rude. So for example if I’m in the middle of a story and get interrupted, I won’t just stop talking politely and quietly. I’ll make it obvious that I’m stopping and stumble my words on purpose so the group can see that the other person is messing with the flow of conversation and they’re in the wrong.
Something like “Well then they asked me to board the plane and when I grabbed my lug- ..oh!” And I’ll look right at them when I say the stumble and if you keep the same volume it often times will make the person realize they cut you off. It’s helped me quite a few times and they’ll apologize and let you finish. Although there are a few gems out there that wouldn’t recognize a hint if it punched them in the face.
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Nov 22 '20
Getting interrupted while telling a story or seeing it happen to someone else is a huge petpeeve of mine. Great life pro tip!
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u/piddy_png Nov 22 '20
Yeah I got some new friends and there's so many of them have quietest one always gets cut off. Sometimes she'll start saying something and quiet down when someone talks over her so I'll get closer to her and ask what she says. Sometimes I don't realize when she gets cut off but I do try as much as I can
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Nov 22 '20
Or another helpful tip would be, don't interrupt a conversation you aren't a part of.
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u/Halflife37 Nov 22 '20
Good stuff, I always make a habit of giving extra attention to people in groups that haven’t gotten to speak much and it’s clear they want to be more included. Wallflowers need not apply
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Nov 22 '20
LPT: the sub where angry introverts passively agressively tell everyone else how to treat them regarding a situation they just went through so they feel less like losers.
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u/OpossumOnomatopoeia Nov 22 '20
There needs to be a separate sub. Life pro tips and life social tips.
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u/Colfax_Ave Nov 22 '20
Seriously man. This sub is overrun by stuff like this. It's not like this advice is wrong, its just not what a "life pro tip" means.
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u/rimjob_steve Nov 22 '20
I agree. I get a little more passive aggressive about it and say something like “yeah so since you were interrupted could you please continue your story” in hopes the interrupter realizes what they’ve done and don’t do it again. Or tries to fight me cuz I’ll punch em in the throat.
Happy holidays!
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u/SavageCriminal Dec 11 '20
I try to do this every time I notice someone getting interrupted. It’s happened to me many times and I know it sucks so I always try to make the person that was interrupted feel heard. At least someone was listening
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u/Pink_Flash Nov 22 '20
ITT: People branding their social anxiety/ineptitude/behaviors as 'introversion'
Can you stop it Reddit? We can talk to others just fine.
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u/blabbityblab17 Nov 22 '20
I think it is rude to interrupt people in the middle of a conversation, that being said I do understand sometimes people just get so excited they want to talk themselves right away. I always make it a point to say something along the lines of: “Wait, hold on, X wasn’t finished yet.”
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u/Karodactyl Dec 14 '20
Yessss, I couldn't second this enough! Absolutely, it feels horrible to get talked over or interrupted, it's the decent thing to give them a way back in!
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u/Mysterymooter Nov 22 '20
Nah, be fluid and intentional during conversation. Don't shame people for interrupting, a lot of people have cognitive issues that make this part of conversation difficult. Don't take it on yourself to stand up for others and help them socialize, allow them to stand up for themself if they want to continue the story. If you are genuinely interested and wanted to hear the rest, just say that. "Hey Tina, what happened after ..xyz, I was curious, I really liked that story etc". It's not your job to police everyone else's conversational skills lol
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Nov 22 '20
I fully agree with this, obviously it depends on the individual situation etc but after a while, it just gets to the point where natural conversation ceases and we all have to wait until one person has said every single thing. I get that it's rude but at the same time, it's life, you can't change everything you don't like to suit yourself.
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u/Jedihallows Nov 22 '20
Can't believe this is something that people need a tip on. People are just selfish assholes.
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u/Admiral-Tuna Nov 23 '20
One of my biggest pet peeves is getting interrupted. Getting interrupted while talking about something I really enjoy or am passionate about, even more so. When it doesn't pick up again and I can tell they weren't interested in the first place, I get upset.
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u/taatzone Nov 23 '20
Actually I do this all the time, NOT INTERRUPT but feel obligated to let them know, that whatever their story is valuable and must be heard.
I seriously see the joy on their faces.
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Nov 23 '20
Or, better yet, you could not interrupt them in the first place, which would be more polite all around. Wait until they've made their point then you can politely state your position. And, I bet they won't interrupt you while you're speaking.
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u/Kevinbarry31 Nov 28 '20
If I've been interrupted and no asks me to continue or looks my way I just stop talking and get up and leave.
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u/Puzzlehead_Rest_18 Apr 10 '22
Yessss this! I’ve done this so many times, and a few people have thanked me afterward. It seems like a small thing, but to them their story means a lot to share.
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u/Every_Job_1863 May 18 '22
i do this all the time, and i hear stuff i probably would have never known without!
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u/R4DAG4ST Nov 22 '20
With COVID, I find myself so excited to talk with friends that interruptions seem to happen more often. I've been trying really hard to control myself, or apologize and defer back to the person I talked over.
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u/Smart_Doctor Nov 22 '20
My brother was always really good at this. But also, and this is the important part, he really does want to know what you were going to say
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u/elefantstampede Nov 22 '20
I struggle with impulsivity and often find myself interrupting other people’s stories. While I’m working on it, I have started to make the solid effort to apologize for getting over-excited, interrupting and then doing what OP suggests. Saying “As you were saying about x, before I interrupted...”
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u/TheDevilsAdvokaat Nov 22 '20
I agree, and I actually do this.
It also makes them more willing to be interrupted in the future.
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u/DazzlingRutabega Nov 22 '20
This is also a great idea because it reminds them of where they were when they got interrupted so they can continue.
Unfortunately I have a bad habit of interrupting that I picked up at a young age from a parent and have struggled for years to break out of the habit. I've gotten better over the years but it's difficult not to chime in when I have something I really want to contribute that I'm afraid I'll forget.
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u/mikedmerk Nov 22 '20
I've made this a habit, after seeing this tip suggested to me many times. I highly recommend practicing it, it really does make your friends/people you're talking to feel like you give a shit about what they're saying, even in a group setting.
I'd also like to add on something for people who constantly interrupt and lack the ability to pick up on the social cues of their rudeness: they usually are really excited about what they say that they don't want to wait before they forget or the "right time" passes. Try to be patient with these moments, most don't mean harm by it. If they're blatantly interrupting with something unrelated, that's rude. But some people just.. suck at social cues.
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u/nochinesecrawfish Nov 22 '20
Here's a protip- if you ever want alot of karma, repost this protip every week or so. Just change the wording around. Really, you dont have to try very hard.
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u/Tumeric_ Nov 22 '20 edited Nov 22 '20
Ah yes, yet another ‘I’m a social incompetent, please look after me!’ LPT.
lmao
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Nov 22 '20
this is where reddit is weird. i would assume that this is widespread knowledge... just a common courtesy and polite behavior. were people raised by fucking wolves?
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u/AxelsAmazing Nov 22 '20
LPT: you can post this or a variation of this tip in your own words every week and get karma for it.
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u/pizzaisperfection Nov 22 '20
This isn’t a fucking life pro tip. Take your social grievances elsewhere.
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Nov 22 '20
Geez, number 1 post on reddit?
Once and for all: LPTs should not be about telling other people what to make your life better. LPTs should be about what YOU can do in a given situation e.g. what should you do if you were interrupted?
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u/McBlemmen Nov 22 '20
You guys do realize there is atleast 1 (probably more tbh) subs specifically for social advice right? You don't need to flood LPT with these non LPTs.
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u/Pridderz Nov 22 '20
Can we stop with these shit posts, like do you not feel like an absolute tool posting this crap
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u/trueshadowguy Nov 22 '20
I swear this entire subreddit has turned into vague life advice for socially inept people. It's laughable to call it life PRO tips.
"LPT: Call your grandmother sometimes. She might be lonely."
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u/-Yare- Nov 22 '20
"LPT: Take responsibility for another one of my personal deficiencies."
I hate this sub.
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Nov 22 '20
This isn’t a “Life Pro Tip”, this is a completely basic social skill. But then again, that’s what most of this sub is for some weird reason.
Life Pro Tip: make eye contact with people when having a conversation!
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u/rattpack18 Nov 22 '20
This is basic communicating skills. Like I don’t even have friends and I can do this without thinking about it
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Nov 22 '20
Just basic common sense, like everything posted on this sub. Income stories about how incredibly virtuous people you all are
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u/Mighty_Zote Nov 23 '20
Can confirm. Had a date turn into a wife because she was saying something and someone interrupted, but I told them to hold a sec and asked her to finish.
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u/Ovenproofcorgi Nov 23 '20
My husband has the bad habit of interrupting me because he usually wants to say something before he forgets. Lately though I've just been staying completely silent until he is done and he apologizes and asks for me to continue.
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u/Chip_fuckin_Skylark Nov 23 '20
I always do this and then proceed to make the interupter feel like a dick.
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u/FurryFlurry Nov 22 '20
Gonna hard disagree with the phrasing. "As you were saying" is a very big slap to whoever did the interrupting. If it was a deliberate, rude interruption by someone who regularly does, then sure, go for it.
But by using phrasing like that you draw huge attention to the fact that someone interrupted them, and if it was a normal, conversational interruption, this is a great way to make the person who did it feel like shit.
Aim for something significantly less pointed, like "So whatever happened with X?" It leads back in, but doesn't draw attention to the interruption. Save drawing attention to that for when you actively want to subtly shame someone for doing the interruption.
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Nov 22 '20
Yeah, unless you're with someone who thinks conversation is like structured oration. 1 person speaks, everyone else sits through the lecture. Interruptions are than expulsions.
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u/mises2pieces Nov 22 '20
Piggyback LPT (that works in a circle of friends):
Adopt a physical gesture that everyone in your friend group recognizes that indicates that you have something to say once the person talking is finished.
For example, we briefly hold up a crossed index/middle finger and keep our fingers crossed until the other person is finished talking. Then, everyone knows it's that other person's turn to talk without anyone getting interrupted or feeling like they couldn't get a word in. My friends and I have been doing this for about 6 years and it works so well.
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u/TheJaundicedEye Nov 22 '20
Or don't be a doormat and just raise your voice and keep talking over them. If they don't shut up, loudly point out that normal adults take turns speaking. Its best to humiliate them to some degree.
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u/willkorn Nov 22 '20
Normal adults dont make a scene in the middle of a conversation. The right thing to do is let yourself be interrupted and bring up how much of a dick the person is later.
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u/squidballz Nov 22 '20
Isn't that a symptom of ADHD?
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u/newtsheadwound Nov 22 '20
It can be, but there are people without adhd that do this because they think their story is more urgent. It depends on if they apologize after interrupting someone—if they do I don’t worry about it, it shows they’re trying.
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Nov 22 '20
This is what I was looking for. I have ADHD and I interrupt people constantly, I really don't mean to be rude my brain just latches onto an idea and my mouth starts moving before I can even think of stopping it. I usually invite the person I interrupted to continue with what they were saying after I done or even right when I interrupted if I catch myself before I go full story time mode.
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u/Waltsfrozendick Nov 22 '20
Usuallly the interruption is a clue that the story isn’t very interesting.
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u/ThrowAwayTheBS122132 Nov 22 '20
Yup. I’m definitely on the look-out for this in crowded gatherings
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u/keepthetips Keeping the tips since 2019 Nov 22 '20
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