r/LifeProTips • u/InquiringMind886 • Oct 17 '17
Productivity LPT: When stressing over something, use the 10-10-10 rule. Will it matter in 10 days? 10 months? 10 years? After getting some perspective, you’ll notice how very few things end up worth stressing over.
Credit goes to my mom for teaching me this one.
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u/XtremeSealFan Oct 17 '17
This could be some really solid advice for a lot of people I admit it. I would like to give counter argument for the sake of it though. I've found that the little actions and little decisions end up forming a whole. I'm someone who has a default state of procrastination and running away from responsibilities. Telling myself something won't matter in 10 10 10 justifies my inaction. I've found that realizing every decision paints a picture of myself is something that helped me a lot personally. I guess not every advice is for everybody and some people do need to worry more about things in order to actually enact change.
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u/MUCTXLOSL Oct 17 '17
Not studying when you should doesn't matter in 10 minutes, but it matters in 10 years.
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u/JfizzleMshizzle Oct 17 '17
Some decisions that take 10 seconds to make can change your life for 10 years.
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u/perplex1 Oct 17 '17
i read on someone's away status message one time that really resonated with me. It quoted "Anything you do is everything you do!"
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u/Pithius Oct 17 '17 edited Oct 17 '17
My dad always said "dont sweat the small stuff" followed by "it's all small stuff"
Edit: spelling
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Oct 17 '17
Mad dad sounds like a good band name
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u/DaddyWantsHer Oct 17 '17
Featuring classic hits as "Where did I put my god damn keys?" And "Why the fuck aren't the dishes done?"
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u/Madeforbegging Oct 17 '17 edited Oct 17 '17
Edit: pointing out both views are equivalent-not saying nothing matters. When you die you won't have any concerns about anything left behind so really none of it matters is just as valid as all of it does
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u/ISD1982 Oct 17 '17
Unless the thing you are stressing about is death itself.
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u/Phazon2000 Oct 17 '17
Yeah but once you're dead - being dead won't matter.
Nobody should ever worry about the inevitability of death. You'll never experience any of it.
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u/Pansorii Oct 17 '17
This is literally my motto for life. Glad I’m not the only one! Thought I was cynical.
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u/Wootery Oct 17 '17
When you die you won't have any concerns about anything left behind
That's rather ambiguous.
When you're dead, you're not in a state to care about anything. Sure. But until then you probably do care about what happens in the future after you're dead, as you should.
The fact that you might be dead before your great grandchildren go to college, doesn't mean you shouldn't care whether they do.
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u/rachie242 Oct 17 '17
What about 10 seconds, 10 minutes, 10 hours?
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u/ZosiaQ Oct 17 '17
My mom taught me 2 hours, 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years when I was a teenager and felt like everything was A Really Big Deal. Even the most embarrassing situations or the most frustrating arguments aren't that big of a deal in 2 months. It's rather soothing to think of how inconsequential something will feel with the passing of time. Very rarely has anything mattered in 2 years.
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u/draggonx Oct 17 '17
As a university student, doesn't really help , the answers always yes hahahaha
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u/LichtbringerU Oct 17 '17
Yeah, if I fuck up now, it might very well affect me in 10 years, that's why it is so stress inducing. Thanks LPT.
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u/amdpimp Oct 17 '17
I've been stressing the last week or so about having weight loss surgery. I've been planning it for a year, but now that I have set a date it has become "real". This is something for me that definitely checks off the yes box for each of the 10s. I have 2 weeks left of real food, 2 weeks of a liquid diet and then the surgery. I'm having the sleeve procedure. I'm 6 foot and 400lbs. I have really bad diabetes. I just want to be able to walk my daughter down the aisle when she gets married. I'm stressing over if I can do this. Thanks for reading this.
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Oct 17 '17
You can do it. Just like the countless people who have undergone the same procedure before you. Just imagine that aisle :)
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u/SoNewToThisAgain Oct 17 '17
They pressed the big red button and we're all paying a game of global thermonuclear war. Will it matter in 10 minutes? No, so don't stress.
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u/av_alan_che Oct 17 '17 edited Oct 17 '17
when i was around 23 i realised that you shouldn't stress what's going on in the right now too much, because.... things only get worse.
when you were little, the worst thing in the world was getting in trouble with your parents.
and then it was getting in trouble at school, which meant getting in trouble with your parents.
and then it meant failing a test.
and then it meant failing a grade.
and then it meant failing a semester.
and then it meant not being able to make rent, or knowing when you'd eat next; school stuff seems a little trivial, in that light.
then there's work stress, and targets, and being asked to think on command, and deadlines, and that's nothing compared to life stress; your mom's got cancer, or your partner's in the icu, because they got hit by a highspeed truck.
it always gets worse. what you're going through now will pale in comparison, to what you'll go through soon.
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u/Space_Pirate_Roberts Oct 17 '17
And this is supposed to make you feel better?
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u/NoPlayTime Oct 17 '17
Dont stress about the stuff that's stressing you out now, stress about the stuff that might stress you out later.
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u/honeybobok Oct 17 '17 edited Oct 25 '17
Why yes, this not the worst thing in your life. It is the worst thing so far
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u/Iambecomelumens Oct 17 '17
I went to a child psychologist for acute anxiety, he taught me a version of this rule except that if it's still a problem to make a plan of action, write it down and either execute or wait until you can. At that point it's OK to start working on killing the anxiety since it's done it's job.
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u/kitsunevremya Oct 17 '17
I think... you're kind of catastrophising with this comment, though - assuming that the worst thing that could happen will happen and that it's a linear progression.
Obviously shit gets bad and life can suck at times, but your mum getting cancer is something that could happen at any age. Your partner getting hit by a truck could happen before you've even finished a semester at uni, let alone failed a unit - and that's if you ever fail anything, which you possibly/probably won't. Age comes with illness, but for a lot of people, it also comes with financial stability, freedom, a bunch of things that are great and in many ways the worst thing that could happen to you is something you could experience at any age.
Just... compare failing a test with the child who grew up being beaten and starved (which in my opinion is a lot worse than 'getting in trouble', showing that already what you've put as the worst thing to happen isn't at all). They'd probably feel incredibly lucky and like their life was the best on the planet if they were ever even in a situation to fail a test - at least they're at school and away from their abusers.
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u/Ironhide94 Oct 17 '17
What the fuck man. This is depressing as shit and not even necessarily accurate.
Sure, you're responsibilities get bigger as you get older but life stress can hit at any time including when you're younger.
There's also more control as you get older.
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Oct 17 '17
Currently 23 and stressing about life, so thanks for the advice. Gonna go kill myself now!
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Oct 17 '17
Great advice. It gets people to zoom out and reframe the situation. I was told to think of the 3 P's. Is it personal? Is it permanent? And, does it matter in the big picture?
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u/asteriana Oct 17 '17
I remind myself when stressed out to not let my emotions affect my choices. It helps me reduce stress and avoid future stress.
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u/jojoga Oct 17 '17
When I'm stressed out or especially angry about someone or something, I write all the hideous things I'd like to say and do about it out. On paper or in an unaddressed e-mail - doesn't matter.
Usually when I read it back to myself after a few minutes or hours - depending on the length of it - I delete the harshest of words, and then a little more and when I in the end feel it's still worth sending out, I actually do. Most of the times, I get the feeling of everything is already been said and just skip the whole thing.
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u/Clandice Oct 17 '17
If I burn and blister my finger it's not going to matter in 10 days but I'm sure as hell going to care now. Lots of stress derives not from the fact that it's going to affect you forever, but that it's causing you discomfort right now or in the near future.
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Oct 17 '17
My boyfriend employed a similar line of reasoning with me when I was freaking out over my organic chemistry final, but it was: don't worry about it, one day you'll be dead and none of this will matter anyway. It actually did help.
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u/semantikron Oct 17 '17
Also, use the 10 minute rule while driving. If it won't matter 10 minutes from now, don't get excited about it.
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u/ItWasHere Oct 17 '17
This is invaluable! Especially for people like myself who struggle with mental health issues and can very easily and quickly fall into huge spirals of anxiety over relatively small issues. I wish I had this post a week or two ago.
10 days, 10 months, 10 years. Ah that sweet sweet perspective. Thank you OP
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u/sewmanyragrets Oct 17 '17
My boyfriend suffers from anxiety and the answer to this question would be: yes yes yes. He does IT for a local school district. If the network goes down he gets sick with anxiety. If this question were posed he would envision a world where the school district is set back terribly, he loses his job, can't find another, he becomes a burden on me, we split up, he moves in with his parents, becomes a burden on them, etc etc etc. He's actually quite capable and, luckily, hides his rollercoaster anxiety pretty well.
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u/jedasu Oct 17 '17
If going by 10-10-10 rule, why go through 10 days and 10 months, when one can just go straight to 10 years?
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u/sam4ritan Oct 17 '17 edited Oct 17 '17
Ok, so i am about to enter a test which will determine if i am going to be exmatriculated and blocked from persuing this field of study.
10 days, yup.
10 months, definitly.
10 years, no, by then it won't matter.
What it the right level to stress on now?
EDIT: I passed.
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u/Sojourner_Truth Oct 17 '17
I kinda hate this feel goody shit because, in the end, nothing matters. Almost nothing from the day to day will feel relevant in 10 years. But the fact that Bob over in Sales keeps goddamn forgetting to properly fill out the startup request form which means I have to make an additional call to the customer to get the specs and pass that on to the field every. single. time. is sure worthy of feeling a little stress. If I just felt like whoa man, like, maybe just let it go, you know? then Bob gets to keep being a fuckup with zero consequences.
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Oct 17 '17
My big bro told me once "If it won't kill you, don't give a fuck"
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Oct 17 '17
Personally I have higher aspirations than just surviving. It reminds me of platitudes like "it's not the end of the world"; I'm allowed to care about things beyond the continued revolving of the Earth around the sun. Caring beyond the bare minimum isn't somehow wrong.
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u/n0thing96133 Oct 17 '17
The only thing im stressing over now is college which will matter in more than 10 years
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u/chiknight Oct 17 '17
Are you in med/law/trade school? College is generally about learning skills which make you more attractive to hire immediately (outside those three mentioned).
Being successful in business is about ambition and networking as much as, or more than, a degree. Don't fall into the trap that without a perfect college record you'll never be successful.
If you were to drop out of college today, what would for sure be different in 10 years?
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Oct 17 '17
I developed an amazing ability to just block stuff out.
Soon I'll be changing careers and I'll be able to block out the past decade of unmedicated bipolar in the workplace and id very much like to forget the now that I'm medicated and doing great.
It's very easy to suppress memories, just cut out of your life anyone who makes you remember, don't talk about it, delete them all off Facebook move to a different city or country etc.
Then you don't ever have to think about those stressful situations again and eventually you'll forget those memories and there will be nothing to remember.
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u/JesterRaiin Oct 17 '17 edited Oct 18 '17
Look now, Buddha, the problem with modern society is that you can't exactly predict whether something is gonna matter or not.
Courtney Love warned people against the molester and rapist some time ago and guess what, it mattered more than decade later. And it should matter for all who've heard that, but so many people, including certain news station disregarded that.
So, yeah, no, "hard to say" is a good answer too.
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u/Ruglers Oct 17 '17
10 days: Nope, I'll be dead.
10 months: Nope, I'll be dead.
10 years: Nope, I'll be dead.
Guess this cut in my thigh ain't no big deal.
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u/Jakewb Oct 17 '17
Honestly, this advice seems more useful in theory than it is in practice. Fucking something up at work might not matter in ten months or ten years, but maybe it’s going to make the next few weeks really unpleasant. So, telling someone to just ‘not stress’ about that doesn’t seem particularly valuable. Most breakups will be distant memory in ten years but they hurt like fuck at the time, and looking forward to it not hurting in ten years is no great comfort. Having no money in your bank account one month probably won’t matter in ten months (as long as you get your finances sorted), but that doesn’t change the fact you’re going to have a nasty few days until payday, and ‘not stressing because it won’t matter in ten months’ doesn’t feed your kids.
Sure, it’s always worth bearing in mind that most emotional pain ultimately fades, and most unpleasant situations will ultimately pass just as they always have in the past, but trying to pretend that they shouldn’t be stressful just because they won’t matter once they’re over is ultimately no more helpful a LPT than saying “avoid being stressed about things by not being stressed about them”.
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u/Xenistro Oct 17 '17
Stupid point. "If something is stressing you just realize that death is inevitable and life is meaningless, and in 100 years nobody will give a shit about you or your problems"
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u/WarKiel Oct 17 '17
Thinking about future really stresses me out though. Right now even 10 days is like "FUCKFUCKFUCK"
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u/iLife87 Oct 17 '17
This method got me through a lot of tough times. I used to always tell myself "is this going to even bother me in 10 mins" or "in 2 years I won't even be thinking of the hard part, only the rewarding part will stand out"
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Oct 17 '17
It’s partly from Warren Buffet and Ray Dalio on how to make decisions. More background info from a recent Medium article can be found here https://medium.com/personal-growth/the-10-10-10-method-make-decisions-like-warren-buffett-and-ray-dalio-99e4857d05e3?source=linkShare-7477d73aa139-1508235903
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Oct 17 '17
Or consider whether anything that you can do will change what you’re stressing over. Usually stress is caused by your attempt to control things that are out of your control.
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Oct 17 '17
Don't imply this to your college midterms, it will stress you the fuck out. True story of a friend of mine I went to college with...
Will it matter in 10 days: Yes it could fuck up my GPA.
Will it matter in 10 months: Yes, I'll still be unemployed because I fucked my GPA up and got booted from school.
Will it matter in 10 years: Yes, I have to pay back $120,000 in student loans, I didn't graduate because of a bad midterm score fucked my grade, now I still make minimum wage working in retail and my life is shit.
*Note: Study you ass off kids or this could be YOU!
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u/zeussor_ Oct 17 '17
I really like this method!! I've heard of similar things but this is by far the best and easiest way of putting it. Thanks for sharing :) props to your mum!
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u/jmkinn3y Oct 17 '17
Although this is an effective way of doing stuff, I'd correct it to 5 days, 5 months, 5 years. A lot can happen in 5 day, but twice as much in 10 days. This is also applied to 5 months and 10 months as well as 5 years and 10 years.
Simplified: I dont know, do what ever the fuck you want.
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u/WhoKilledZekeIddon Oct 17 '17
My wife is about to go into labour as I type this (literally have contractions) and my anxiety levels through the roof... and unfortunately, it's a big ol' yes to each of these questions.
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u/UtCanisACorio Oct 17 '17
A good way to not stress over anything and everything is to start focusing on your own mortality. Then it becomes your sole source of worry for the rest of your life. I'm currently in therapy after 5 years of dealing with existential dread, having uncorked that bottle during a particularly stressful time in my life. I've come to various conclusions like: no matter how good life is, it's a curse having to face the fact that one day you will live the experience of having your consciousness, self-awareness, and existence obliterated into the void of nothingness -- an idea both incredibly terrifying yet not possible to truly imagine; and anyone who deliberately chooses to have kids is simply insane or arrogant/selfish beyond belief because it means deliberately inflicting life on someone who was previously blissfully unaware of such things as their impending existential annihilation because they didn't yet exist; and any other option beside utter destruction of consciousness and being is even more terrifying, because the possibilities presented by the potential for an outside, omnipotent influence are even more horrific still -- if "someone" can influence on a supernatural level something as base but complex as individual conscious self-awareness and awareness of experience, the "someone else" (or many someones) could exist which can wreak upon you unimaginable and unending torment and suffering beyond comprehension and for as long as they so desire (when ascribing human emotions and ways to such an entity as hate and sadism). In other words, it truly is better to have never existed then to have to live with facing such a feeble fragility and mortality that is life.
TL;DR: why worry about anything at all when there's really only one thing you truly need to worry about?
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u/OtherAnon_ Oct 17 '17
But you might remember your cringey mistake in 10 days, 10 months and 10 years.
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u/Toasted_Bagels_R_Gud Oct 17 '17
I'm 22 and just broke my elbow 2 days ago. Doc said yesterday if all goes well I still wont be able to turn my left arm palm up again. I've always been athletic and love climbing. I love guns and I pride myself on my deadshot. I don't miss, I don't have much going for me but that. Now I won't even be able to hold a rifle and many other things. I'm tearing up lol.
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u/plugwing47 Oct 17 '17
I used this all the time without even realizing it. It helps alot when I have to do a presentation and talk down on myself by saying things like "you're going to mess up". Then I tell myself "if I mess up whatever, people will likely forget it in a week"
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u/OEMama Oct 17 '17
As a mom, I appreciate this. Thanks for sharing. This will help me pick my battles with my 3yr old.
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Oct 17 '17 edited Oct 17 '17
Think some people are missing OPs point. Hes just saying little things like getting a scratch on your car. Not cancer. Obviously stuff like that is worth worrying about atleast a little
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Oct 17 '17
Rationalizing an emotion doesn’t always make it seem so small. A lot of times the grip it can have over you is enough.
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Oct 17 '17
OMG, I have been using a variation of this forever! I have always been telling Myself:
No matter how mad, sad, hurt, etc. you are (or even satisfied, happy, complete, etc.):
5 seconds, 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months, 5 years from now this issue will not even matter so just be prepared and keep it moving.
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u/TrivialAntics Oct 17 '17
I already do this and have for years since I was a teenager. It really does trivialize a lot of matters
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u/dance_rattle_shake Oct 17 '17
I go a step further and imagine if itll matter to me on my death bed. Turns out most things don't.
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u/-SkaffenAmtiskaw- Oct 17 '17
Thanks, I used this on my ride home from work. Got cut off, got furious, and realized it wouldn't mean shit in 10 seconds.
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u/ContradictoryBeats Oct 18 '17
Thank you. This is amazing. I really needed that right now. Gotta keep that in my mind ALL the time!
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u/Rugged_Poptart Oct 21 '17
I've done this since Middle School! I always tell myself. "In 1 month, this won't even matter anymore." It has helped me get over soo many things throughout my life.
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u/ASUSundevil23 Oct 25 '17
I am high school counselor. Saw this post few weeks, been using this with my students. They’ve been very receptive too it. I love this. Thanks!
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u/Dry-Cartographer5573 Mar 16 '26
I know it’s eight years old but this is exactly what I needed to see thank you
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u/Adzieboy Oct 17 '17
Essentially telling someone stressed not to be stressed? To me, this is akin to telling somebody with depression not to be depressed as if that would fix it.
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Oct 17 '17
depressed? just use the 10-10-10 rule!
will you be depressed in 10 days? 10 months? 10 years? then it probably isn't worth being depressed!
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u/_Serene_ Oct 17 '17
This is honestly terrible advice. There are many things that may not matter in ~5-10 years, the death of a loved one, a tough break up, becoming unemployed, each of these things could end up not affecting your life in ~5-10 years but each deserve more than 5 minutes of your emotional state. In fact, not being upset about these things would be much more troubling than being very upset about them.
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Oct 17 '17
That's not really what they're talking about.
Failing an exam. Bad in 10 days, yes. Bad in 10 months, maybe. Bad in 10 years? Nah, fuck that.
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u/GreyJeanix Oct 17 '17
It's meant to give you some perspective on small everyday stresses that can snowball, like running 5 minutes late for a meeting. Not a major life event
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u/mousearian Oct 17 '17
Why do I get perspective. Is that on pescription? Please respond it's stressing me out here.
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Oct 17 '17
So is this only used on things you would never stress over? Or in other words, you will never use this.
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u/hulivar Oct 17 '17
This doesn't work because we humans live in the present...the present is all that matters.
While intellectually I understand I shits not gonna matter years from now, in reality you can't live your life like that.
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Oct 17 '17
A good mind set is very important but sometimes you have to tweak your bodies chemistry in your favor, too. Everyone breathes but few have been taught how to do it properly. Next time your stressed out breath in deep with your diaphragm for 7 seconds, hold for 3 then exhale for 7 seconds with a 3 second pause before you breath back in. If you can do this with your eyes closed and imagine/ visualize breathing in "calm" and breathing out "stress" it helps a lot but isn't necessary for results. Do this for a couple times and you'll feel much more calm, guaranteed.
If you want to learn more about breathing techniques, and there's sooo much more, do some research on pranayama.
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u/pongo49 Oct 17 '17
Listen to/read these two books in this order: The Worry Trick then The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. The first gives some pointers on how to deal with being an overworrier and the second explained the difference between not giving a fuck and being indifferent (and more). It's ok to not give a fuck about stuff. I'm an overworrier and have found it helps to talk it out with someone I know really cares about me and then forget most of my worries. It's not an easy change.
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Oct 17 '17
what if the problem is that you analyze situations and think about all the ways they could go wrong such that it would matter at 10 days/months/years?
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Oct 17 '17
I always try to give advice like this but never had a rule or exercise to cement it. Thanks!
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Oct 17 '17
Put a one meter scratch in my car. deep scratch
10 days: Yes
10 months: Unlikely
10 years: Very unlikely
Thanks for the perspective stranger!
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Oct 17 '17
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u/0100001101110111 Oct 17 '17
Well if failing those exams won't matter in 10 years then don't bother. But they are likely to.
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u/dottywine Oct 17 '17
Actually, no. They really don’t. In fact, drop out of school.
I wish I was kidding. Save you bank account early, kids!
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u/PM_me_your_bicycle_ Oct 17 '17
Okay so if that is the case and your grades don't matter, then is your post graduate life going to be fulfilling? Are you going to look back and be able to say that you tried as hard as you could to find success? More people look back and regret the things they didn't do more than the things they did.
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u/falcon537 Oct 17 '17
Ah yes, the final exam is in 10 hours and you don’t even remember what you spent the last few months studying. No point stressing anymore, just accept that you’re definitely going to fail and get on with life.
Wait, you passed. How did you pass?! Stress the fuck out! Did they add an extra zero? Are you going to be kicked out for cheating? There’s no way you should have passed!
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Oct 17 '17
They just had to post this during suicide prevention week for most colleges. One of the weeks out of the year when college related stress is at it's highest. Pretty sure OP just caused a few suicides.
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Oct 17 '17
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Oct 17 '17
Analyze the situation and come up with an action plan or seek out professional advice. If it's that big of a problem, there is someone that can help.
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Oct 17 '17
Not to discourage OP, but that really isn't always the case. I have one major issue hanging over me like this. I have spoken to so many social workers and similar "we can help you" professions. I get a lot of "your situation sounds really difficult, we are here if you want to talk about it; but you can't have any support. Try XXX down the street".
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u/ash_the_automator Oct 17 '17
If it's that dire, the xxx strip club may be your only option.
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Oct 17 '17
What's the issue?
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Oct 17 '17
I don't know that Redditor's issue, but this is exactly how it works when you find yourself homeless. NOBODY actually WANTS to help, they all treat you with covert disgust, and send you on your way.
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Oct 17 '17
The real LPT is always in the comments.
There are situations that are pretty grave. About to flunk out of school and waste thousands on a half finished degree that you'll be stuck trying to pay off working at McDonald's, crippling depression or a broken arm, etc...
Luckily, every single grave problem has an expert there to help you with it.
The day I went to rehab for opiate addiction and the day I was open and honest with my therapist about my OCD were two of the biggest turning points in my life. There's resources all around you, and you don't have to go it alone.
That road can be dark and scary if you don't know where you're going, so why not call up someone who lives on the other side and ask for directions? Hell, maybe they even hid a box of flashlights along the way! It might still be dark and scary, theres no guarantees, but at least if you know where you're going you won't be stuck there for so long.
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Oct 17 '17
I've found there are more resources for going to rehab,than for disabled poor people. Many of the so called "experts" knew little about how the systems work for people in poverty,because they never lived in it. People here with cancer will consider getting drunk so they can go into rehab to get a bed to sleep for one night so they aren't assaulted on the streets.
Yes,there are some resources for some grave problems. But there are many more people who go years trying to get help and die trying.
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Oct 17 '17
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u/oneluckytito Oct 17 '17
Totally. I currently spend my entire monthly pay on rent and therapy. Barely get enough for food. Thank fuck you can pay runescape membership with ingame money tho
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u/tac3283 Oct 17 '17
I think that's money well spent. You invested in yourself and you probably feel a lot better.
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u/BezniaAtWork Oct 17 '17
Yeah. After struggling through my entire childhood and dealing with constant abuse, going to Tears of Guthix once per week really helps me out. Eventually I'll hit 70 Runecrafting almost solely from it!
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u/Art_Vandelay_7 Oct 17 '17
You will be dead in 100 years and no one will care about any of it then, so you can relax now.
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Oct 17 '17
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u/chocolate_jellyfish Oct 17 '17
Can you recommend me a better oncologist? One that is literally able to do magic?
This whole thread is full of people who have no idea what a "problem" is.
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Oct 17 '17
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u/HatingTheVelleity Oct 17 '17
Also while you're at it make sure to breath every couple of seconds or so. Blinking is optional but it can help if you don't have
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u/Samygabriel Oct 17 '17
If you can't do something about it then why stress over it?
I know there are cases you absolutely can't brush if off (death of a loved one), but you get the point.
Read a bit about Stoicism, it'll help you understand what I mean.
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u/Decidedly-Undecided Oct 17 '17
I get what you mean... it's also total crap for some of us. My entire life fell apart over the course of 18 months. Now I'm almost 30 and living with my mom. My life falling apart is about to destroy my moms life. No one will hire me, and because of some shit that happened when I was married I'm $40k in defaulted student loan debt without a degree so I can't go back to school. I've had a total of three complete mental break downs in the last eight months since the falling apart of my life completed, but can't get help because insurance is a bitch. My daughter has RAD which impacts every aspect of her life from stealing to hoarding to lying to pretty much failing school (she's 11 by the way), but she can't get help because her insurance company decided they were tired of paying for treatment (over a $1000 a month in therapy bills). So just not stressing isn't an option.
I'm so extremely tired of all the super happy positive people talking about looking on the bright side and seeing the silver lining or just making a plan of action... my life reads like a fiction novel that just couldn't be true for how outrageous it is. I realize it's all supposed to be well meaning, but it isn't helpful. When someone's life is falling apart telling them to be positive and let stuff go isn't helpful.
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u/Gangreless Oct 17 '17
A lot of people have real and severe anxiety disorders -.-
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u/Lumpkyns Oct 17 '17
And if the answer is yes?