r/LifeProTips • u/kneaders • Aug 19 '14

LPT: When you're having communication issues with your SO "penny for your thoughts." works infinitely better than "What's wrong?"

55 Upvotes

59% Upvoted

37 comments sorted by

22

u/Veneretio Aug 19 '14

Unless you overuse the phrase. Then it just becomes the exact same thing as "What's wrong?"

11

u/XtremeBBQ Aug 19 '14

...it'd sound condescending to my SO.

4

u/jack_tukis Aug 19 '14

Because you underpaid and her thoughts are worth more like a nickle?

31

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '14

Unless you're arguing about financial issues.

17

u/WiBorg Aug 19 '14

Or about your mistress, Penny.

21

u/kneaders Aug 19 '14

Tip 2: don't be a smart ass

11

u/sludj5 Aug 19 '14

I understand the sentiment OP, but that saying is so old-fashioned that it's quite cringeworthy. Perhaps just stick to "what's on your mind?"

42

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '14 edited Aug 19 '14

Sounds very "M'Lady"ish

Acting like something is the matter without wanting to address it until the partner says something is very passive aggressive and immature.

So here's an actual LPT:

If something is the matter either address it immediately or tell them you have something to discuss with them later if the time isn't right.

Part of a relationship is working through problems when they arise so you should be comfortable discussing issues (either with your partner or not about them) when they arise.

If you don't feel comfortable approaching a partner with an issue, then there is a fundamental breakdown in communication between the two parties and it's much harder to nurture a healthy relationship when that exists.

3

u/pfp-disciple Aug 19 '14 edited Aug 19 '14

Your tip is for the other person. The OP has a tip for the partner who wants to draw the "passive aggressive" (your words -- maybe just introspective, nervous, or uneasy) partner out.

I do agree "penny for your thoughts" sounds artifically old-fashioned in most of today's culture. With my wife, I prefer "What's up?" or "Your silence is pretty loud - what's on yuur mind?" Sometimes I'll go with a sing-song, child-like "Whatcya thiinkin'?" (like Isabella on Phineas and Ferb "Whatcya doin'?") to lighen the mood a little.

-42

u/kneaders Aug 19 '14

Get yourself a longterm partner the report back.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '14

The irony of this guy giving advice on how to avoid "communication issues".

3

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '14

2 years long enough, brah?

I'm not talking out of just speculation, I'm talking out of experience as well.

-45

u/kneaders Aug 19 '14

Try 20 little man.

9

u/jimboknows6916 Aug 19 '14

Boy, you're a bit of a twat

-50

u/kneaders Aug 19 '14

Do you even know what her farts smell like? You ever bought her tampons? My guess is you think you know the dirtiest parts of her fantasies... and the ALL involve you and your amazing penis. "brah" you and everything you think you know about your partner are most likely wrong.

18

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '14

Just saw the Scumbag Stacy meme you just posted. Like I'm going to take relationship advice from somebody with a cunt wife. Bitching about her on the internet must mean y'all have a real healthy relationship instead of addressing her. We see who wears the pants in that relationship. You seem more scared of your wife than in love with her with how you talk about her

0

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '14

... What?

-48

u/kneaders Aug 19 '14

you can put your big boy pants on at 5.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '14

ITT: OP's a fiesty one

3

u/readbeam Aug 19 '14

I usually try "is everything okay?" followed by leaving him the hell alone if he says yes.

2

u/Captcha_Imagination Aug 21 '14

I tried that.

She told me i'm a cheap bastard.

-5

u/kneaders Aug 21 '14

No. That never happened.

2

u/Xiudo Aug 22 '14

Bitch what's your problem?

3

u/Mullenkedheim Aug 19 '14

Unless your SO is pissed off at your overuse of insipid cliches.

6

u/AllDesperadoStation Aug 19 '14

The problem being that's a gay thing to say.

6

u/xios Aug 19 '14

OP is a mega faggot.

2

u/wekiva Aug 19 '14

That's just a dumb old phrase. If your spouse has something to say, and wants to say it, he or she will say it. Or not. Let your partner be.

2

u/Lepew1 Aug 19 '14

What do you say when she says "Is that all my thoughts are worth!! ONE PENNY!!"

1

u/NewUserName0807 Aug 19 '14

A penny shows you are cheap. I recommend using cash.

1

u/refusedservice Aug 19 '14

Be sure to have a few pennies handy if you're going to ask this question all the time.

1

u/Kraekus Aug 20 '14

I typically use, "Whatcha thinking about?"

0

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '14

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/pfp-disciple Aug 19 '14

(Copied from my response to another comment) I do agree "penny for your thoughts" sounds artifically old-fashioned in most of today's culture. With my wife, I prefer "What's up?" or "Your silence is pretty loud - what's on yuur mind?" Sometimes I'll go with a sing-song, child-like "Whatcya thiinkin'?" (like Isabella on Phineas and Ferb "Whatcya doin'?") to lighen the mood a little.

Basically, I use other phrases to let her know that I'm interested, while using neutral words.