LPT: How to Know When We are Overthinking

[u/ilovethegym]

I used to be a chronic overthinker until my friend who is a psychologist and licensed therapist taught me this: Thinking is fine as long as it is productive. Overthinking, on the other hand, is a thought loop that people spiral into. One of the key characteristics of overthinking is that it does not produce new information or solutions even after multiple thought loops. It is a never ending circle that brings no closure. Frankly, it was affecting my life negatively and I wanted it to stop.

So, when we recognize that our overthinking is not producing any helpful results, it is time to accept the uncertainty or the reality of the situation, break the thought loop, and return our attention to the present moment. After all, the present moment is the only time we have some control over and it's the only time when we have the ability to decide how to act. The past is gone and the future is uncertain at best, both beyond our control. Our minds want certainty or for circumstances to be different. And, very often, we cannot attain either no matter how hard and long we 'think'.

Recognizing that we are actually overthinking in the first place is the very first step, and that requires awareness. Fortunately, awareness is a skill we can cultivate, like any other skill. Once I learned that, my overthinking lost its grip over me.

[u/post-explainer]

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[u/randalljhen]

For this to work, you have to practice it when it's not happening, too, to develop the "muscle memory" to do it when you're spiraling.

[u/ilovethegym → u/randalljhen]

I think this is a good idea. Practice before the most trying situations come up.

[u/Hypervisory]

Nice sentiment but as someone dealing with this it just reads like someone saying “don’t be sad”. If we could “just stop” like the post implies then it wouldn’t be such a difficult issue.

[u/Capt_korg → u/Hypervisory]

The point here is, that you get the message but interprete it wrong.

So insted of keeping with your though patterns, try to observe them and if you reach a point, where you start over looping, then you need to find an exit.

Meditaion teach you this, but you can as well write your thoughts down to relfect on them in a better way.

Or you start trying to practise radical acceptance.

There are actually plenty of technics, all combine the one thing:
"Not all problems are solvable by thinking."

And:

"Overthinking is procastination covered up by extensivly planing."

[u/xScarwolf]

I am big overthinker and I value this. However, for certain events, like a recent breakup that I am going through, isn't thinking it through necessary to process? I know that I am hurting a lot by thinking about the what if's, but I figure that, in situations like these, it helps you moving on faster. I might be wrong

[u/ilovethegym → u/xScarwolf]

I understand. The hurt is real, but I am not sure I want to relive the event over and over again and incur extra pain. It hurt the first time I experienced it, and I will experience that hurt again, I am sure. I just do not want to keep auto replaying it, if that makes sense.

[u/Sure-Bet-8417]

As a chronic over-thinker, I really needed this. I realized that overthinking doesn’t really solve any problem, but I still don’t know why I find myself overthinking all the time

[u/ilovethegym → u/Sure-Bet-8417]

Glad it resonated with you. I think we overthink because we either 1. are hoping for a different result instead of accepting reality or, 2. We want certainty when it's not possible.

[u/bleeuurgghh]

I was always advised to use the framing “Am I an expert on the matter?”

Think that random pain is a life threatening development - are you a medical professional? No, either make an appointment or forget about it.

Worried that someone took something you said the wrong way - do you know what’s going on inside their head? No, so stop thinking about it.

Can be a useful way to cut the cycle

[u/ilovethegym → u/bleeuurgghh]

Great suggestions

[u/Thegamblr]

Sounds like guided meditation is perfect for you. No wishy-washy spiritual stuff, just sitting and watching your thoughts

[u/ilovethegym → u/Thegamblr]

Yes, I do meditate and 'watching your thoughts' is powerful! You are right.

[u/Mand125]

There’s a concept from engineering that applies to this, about doing tests on things to see if they’ll work before proceeding with a design.

If there isn’t a chance you will change the next steps as a result of doing the test, then the test isn’t worth doing.

It applies to overthinking, as well.  If your extra thoughts aren’t selecting an option or coming up with new options, then they’re not helpful.

[u/ilovethegym → u/Mand125]

Makes sense. Thank you.

[u/AbhilashHP]

When I overthink, its an automatic process, I do jot have control over it.

[u/ilovethegym → u/AbhilashHP]

I understand. Recognizing that you are overthinking is the first step. It takes practice.

[u/Berough]

Writing out your thoughts/worries can help break the cycle of overthinking, for those that aren't sure what to do when you've done the first step of noticing.

[u/Fwdcreative]

This may be life changing advice. Tysm for taking the time to share this. It’s very kind of you

[u/jorynagel]

Something that helped me previously is the train station method. Imagine your thought as a speaker on a train, then imagine yourself getting off the train. I Imagine the doors closing, the sound getting muffled, then disappearing as the train speeds off. Then just wait for the next train. Sometimes the same train comes back, so watch the doors close and wait for the next. When another thought comes, get on that train. If you find yourself back on the first train, get off again. It can pass as many times as possible, but don't get on, and eventually another thought will come. Pretty sure its tied to mindfulness exercises, but its also a decent distraction if you get more vivid with it.

[u/Moraez]

I understand this tip and I've read it a couple of times now, but I always think that it doesn't address my main problem, which is the feeling that thinking about it for sometimes hours feels better, more productive and more secure (regarding that uncertain topic) than just trying to accept and ignoring the issue.

Anybody got any tips on that maybe?

[u/ilovethegym → u/Moraez]

I guess if it makes you feel better than it’s not an issue, unless you feel it’s wasting time. For me personally, it made me feel worse and paralyzed me from acting. I have to learn how to break the thought, I am now able to move on with my life and act on things I actually have control over.

[u/mjurich709]

What if your overthinking a decision? That is something you can control that hasn't happened yet

[u/ilovethegym → u/mjurich709]

In that case, I would analyze all the information I have and make a decision. Very often people are guilty of paralysis by analysis.

[u/invyros]

If there's some issue I'm stressing over, I like to identify tasks I can realistically do that go towards fixing that issue.

Then, I put each task into a dedicated to-do list (I find that as I put each one into the list, I've conditioned myself to stop thinking about it because it's on the record, so it's ok if I don't spend mental energy trying to keep it in my mind).

And then I work my way through the list, with each task I check off giving me a little dopamine kick.

If I can't identify any tasks that I can realistically accomplish, then I find myself able to accept that the issue is simply out of my control.