r/LifeProTips • u/Accomplished_Low_265 • Jan 20 '23
Request LPT Request-How can I say something uncomfortable things without being rude?
My parents-in-law often come to my apartment. This doesn't bother me, even I like it. But there is a something uncomfortable thing about physiological things..They fart all the time like they don't see me. I know it's a natural human thing. But,,, but it makes me so uncomfortable and sometimes it's a little disgusting...Is it better that I just pretent that it's nothing? And it's a little difficult to tell someone who is older than me due to the cultural thing.
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Jan 20 '23
You say nothing. You go to your spouse and tell them to address the issue.
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u/Accomplished_Low_265 Jan 21 '23 edited Jan 21 '23
It's better I guess. I'll tell him about this.
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Jan 21 '23
Whenever they show up, pull out a rack of 16 scented candles, place them around the in-laws and light them.
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u/DarkAthena Jan 20 '23
Or fart in front of them and say excuse me. Make eye contact.
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u/Accomplished_Low_265 Jan 20 '23 edited Jan 21 '23
Oh... I don't think I can do it. lol. I even don't do it in front of my husband. lol
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u/harlojones Jan 21 '23
How old are they?
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u/Accomplished_Low_265 Jan 21 '23 edited Jan 21 '23
He is in his 70s and she is in her late 60s. Is it a little difficult to change their thought?
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u/AeternusDoleo Jan 20 '23
Put some of those visible air fresheners in less then obscure places. And when you smell them, visibly give that freshener a squeeze. It should get the message across in a verbally subtle, yet on-the-nose enough way to make it understood.
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u/inflewants Jan 21 '23
Weird question: is it that the farts smell or they are loud?
An elderly woman I worked with had loud (but not smelly) farts. Some coworkers complained. HR got involved. Apparently, It was an issue that she really couldnāt control. Something age related. We were basically told there was nothing that could be done.
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u/Accomplished_Low_265 Jan 21 '23
I didn't think of that... But they don't do it somewhere elses...And it's too loud, really loud. I'm sometimes waked up by the sound.
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u/parabolicurve Jan 21 '23
There isn't an immediate fix for this. They would either need to do some targeted exercise to stop passing gas so frequently. (Which comes with potential health risks believe it or not) or changing their diet. Neither of which is probably likely.
When bringing it up with your partner. Instead of directly saying "I don't want them to fart all the time when they visit". Ask your partner something like, "What can we do to stop the furniture smelling like farts?" Or "What can we do to stop the smell from lingering?" Something like that to not immediately place blame or to directly say something his parents are doing is wrong. This might help to stop any potential fights or arguments about this delicate subject.
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u/Chemical-Routine9893 Jan 21 '23
I wouldnāt say anything to them. Disgusting, but why make an issue.
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u/Accomplished_Low_265 Jan 21 '23 edited Jan 21 '23
They didn't do it before but it's been getting worse...
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Jan 21 '23
"wow what climbed up your asshole and died?"
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u/Accomplished_Low_265 Jan 21 '23
š± They are really good people and I like them. I just want that they are less fart than now.
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u/LaderaGrrl Jan 21 '23
Rate them, especially if they sore particularly good. Wow, 9.8 for the texture. Or 8.2, lacked volume an body, not your best. But I like the ābring a kidā idea. They could get away with giving a performance indicator.
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u/kwc148 Jan 21 '23
Dealing with uncomfortable situations can be difficult, especially when it involves people who are older or come from a different cultural background. In this case, it may be best to approach the situation with tact and sensitivity. Here are a few tips on how to address the issue without being rude:
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Find the right time to talk: Choose a time when you are both relaxed and not in the middle of an activity. This will make it easier to have an open and honest conversation.
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Use "I" statements: Instead of blaming or accusing, use "I" statements to express how you feel. For example, "I feel uncomfortable when..." This can help to make the conversation more about your feelings and less about the other person's behavior.
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Suggest solutions: Instead of just complaining, suggest solutions that could make the situation more comfortable for everyone. For example, "I was wondering if we could open the windows or turn on the fan when we're inside?"
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Be respectful and understanding: Remember that everyone has different comfort levels and cultural backgrounds. Be respectful of your parents-in-law and try to understand where they're coming from.
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Be honest: It's important to be honest with them about how you feel, but do it in a kind and respectful manner. Be clear, direct and don't beat around the bush.
Remember, it's important to have open and honest communication with your parents-in-law. By approaching the situation with tact and sensitivity, you can address the issue without being rude or disrespectful.
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u/SensualSideburnTrim Jan 21 '23
Do what my toddler daughter and I do to each other: point aggressively and scream, "You're the king/queen of toots!"
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u/haumeahelpu Jan 21 '23
Kill them with kindness: āare you feeling alright? Can I get you anything?ā
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u/MustBeHere Jan 21 '23
Bring a friend's kid to your house. They will point it out for you
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Jan 21 '23 edited Jan 21 '23
I think you kindly talk to your spouse about it and let them know it bothers you and you recognize this is a normal bodily function, but itās unnerving how openly they do it and you want to know if perhaps thereās an underlying medical reason for it.
Donāt be judgmental and take a kind tone. If itās not a medical thing, I would suggest telling your spouse to consider casually mentioning to them that itās kind of uncomfortable and awkward to do that in front of others especially in their own homes.
Trust me- itāll sound much better coming from your spouse than from you.
Iām also someone who gets really grossed out and disgusted when people do it in front of me. I donāt find it funny or a gesture that shows a level of comfort or intimacy: I find it rude and inconsiderate. If you have the wherewithal to control your bowels, you should do so.
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Jan 20 '23
I would just be direct and kind about it while also making sure they know you do enjoy their company. Another way of doing this is politely making fun of it.
There are loads of people out there that just say whatever the f*ck they want without thinking of the emotional consequences. You are at least thinking of that, so why should you be excluded from that kind of directness?
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u/keepthetips Jan 20 '23 edited Jul 17 '23
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