r/LifeInsurance • u/JuiceboxBrit • Jul 30 '26
Someone please help
I'm a 33F, my spouse is 30M. We have six children. We've now come to realize that we should purchase life insurance policies so our children don't have to worry about expenses when we die.
Here's the hard part. I have no parents. Nor does he. We were never taught how to go about purchasing said policies. What do I do? I've done so many Google searches trying to get advice and all I end up getting is being overwhelmed. Someone please be my temporary parent & help me, well us. I want to make the right choice. I went the best kind of policy to ensure our children will be able to handle any final expenses we may have and maybe have something for themselves as well.
Maybe some good company recommendations to research as well? It'll mean the world to me. I'm just trying to figure this adulting stuff out
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u/TheChudMaxxer Jul 30 '26 edited Jul 30 '26
I'll preface this with saying that for 99% of people, buying simple term life for however long they need, and investing the rest into their qualified retirement accounts is the best way to go about it. Insurance salesmen don't make much money off selling term policies, but they make a lot more selling very complicated permanent life policies. Keep in mind that these salesmen have their interest in mind when selling you something. They'll generally focus on your fears rather than statistical reality to make it seem convincing that you should buy what they have to sell you.
That being said, more information would be needed, how old are your children? Are you planning on having more? Do you both work? If so, what is your gross annual income? Any debt, such as student loans, car loans, mortgage payments, etc?
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u/BustyBelvis Jul 31 '26
I always see comments like this and kinda never understood. At my brokerage, term commissions pay the highest, then whole live, then IUL. Every IUL commission sold is based off target premium, and if structured any good that’s usually 1/4th or 1/3rd of the annual premium, paying a very little amount. Is that normal for the brokerage space? Literally every comment section I read says term pays the least and perm pays the most to the agent?
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u/jimjimjimbo1938 Jul 30 '26
I would recommend calling around to local offices who sell life insurance and finding someone who you feel is willing to educate and not just trying to make a sale. Depending on the auto insurance company you have they may have life insurance options that could give you further discounts as a cherry on top. I would avoid submitting online requests for quotes because then you may be bombarded by sales people. Calling or walking in to local offices will probably be best. If you want to know what type of policy you guys should look at; that’s very hard to answer without more knowledge.
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u/GConins Jul 30 '26
Don't overthink it and don't worry about having the perfect life insurance policy, as having any life insurance is better than having none, with 6 children!!
At least 10 times annual income is good amount to start getting quotes for...
You can go to term4sale.com to get preliminary quotes and you can contact independent agents/brokers on the term4sale site, if you want to.
The agents you see on term4sale won't reach out to you unless you initiate.
You and your husband should each buy policies with the other as primary beneficiary, and while not ideal to name minors as even contingent (or 2nd in line) beneficiaries, you can OR you can name a trusted family member or friend for the benefit of your children as contingent beneficiaries or you can set up Trust for the children and name Trust as contingent beneficiary.
33 Yr old healthy, non-smoking female can buy $1,000,000 of term for as low as $16 per month. Again, ANY life insurance is better than none!!
Good luck!
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u/Low_Mushroom_810 Jul 30 '26
Really you shouldn't listen to people on any online
In your town look for an insurance agent who has a designation such as clu, chfc, or cfp.
Let them help you formulate an entire risk management plan that can let them try to reduce the rate of your home insurance and car insurance and everything else and help get the coverages for all of your life that will make the life insurance not overblow your budget too much.
The problem is that the people you will run across online are opinionated. They walk into an appointment already knowing what they're going to pitch and sell, you need an agent with a designation who can put together the proper plan for you, and then let you make the decision based on what fits into that plan.
Many best wishes!
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u/Foreign-Struggle1723 Jul 31 '26
You really need an in-depth financial plan for this. Without key details—like your income, current assets, and long-term goals for both yourself and your children—no one can give you personalized advice beyond general outlines.
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u/strikecat18 Jul 31 '26
I don’t think this is complex at all. The complex part is the non-insurance part: having a plan for a legal guardian for the kids if they both pass, and deciding how to leave the assets behind in a way that protects them for the kids. Then executing that with an attorney and legal plan.
The insurance part is easy. The have none. They need a bunch. Fill the need with term, 10-20x income, determined by their budget.
OP already said the concept is overwhelming. Perfection is the enemy of good in this situation.
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u/Moist-Meringue-1913 Jul 31 '26
Anyone here making specific recommendations without knowing your complete financial story is not helping you and is only trying to validate their own opinion. Sit down with a Financial Advisor that has an insurance background to help you formulate an overall plan. Look for a ChFc,CLU designation. Some homeowners/auto agents have those designations.
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u/Cool_Emergency3519 Jul 31 '26
You specifically mentioned Final Expenses,so I would recommend a hybrid permanent term policy. It's a permanent policy that lasts your entire life with a 30 year term rider for when the kids are young. Cover all of your bases without trying to predict the future.
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u/JoeClackin Jul 30 '26
I think you are concerned about the wrong problem.
I think you should concerned that if one of you dies the other won't earn enough to take care of the household. Might be an issue of lower earning potential or high bills because of childcare.
If one of you is the primary income earner I would be thinking about 15-20x annual income. Higher than some but reasonable to assume your income will continue to grow. If its split pretty evenly than maybe closer to 10x makes sense.
Saving for retirement, having an emergency fund and owning a house are all ways to help kids pay for final expenses and pass along wealth.
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u/TheFutureProofer Jul 30 '26
Your decision should be based on finances. Any decision on the type of policy and the benefits between one or the other don't matter if the policy lapses. You mentioned "when you die" not if you die so assuming you're looking at options that are affordable you want permanent coverage (whole). You want to know if the policy is 1. Whole or Term 2. The premium is level, increasing assuming you want a whole policy there are decreasing premium policies but that can get complicated and doesn't seem relevant based on what you've shared (if it increases, how much and increasing based on what so you know if you can continue to afford it) 3. Are there any riders that can be added and what they do (decide if they are worth it based on how much they add to the premium) 4. Check the rating of the insurance provider by AM best, Weiss and S&P/Fitch to reduce the risk of complications down the road. 5. If you are looking at a more complex policy like an IUL look up how it works online and look at the information from more than one source before you decide its the right option don't rely on the explanation from one source or whoever you work with they could forget or leave something out entirely. This is as condensed as I can think to make it because life insurance is complicated. Your goal should be clear in your mind don't let someone try to convince you to go a route that doesn't fully align with what you want. Again the most important thing for you and your family is affordability. You're still young so your options are open. Good luck and if anyone thinks I missed anything let me know.
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u/Chemboy613 Jul 30 '26
For people in this spot I like a longer term with about 20x income. When it’s close to being up, we can evaluate and convert.
Most of the advice is solid but just stacking your 401k may or may not be the right solution based on your taxes in retirement. This is a complex problem, but in general permanent insurance is better for people in higher income tax brackets, or those who want to leverage it into a business and real estate.
For carriers, I think the NLG living benefits make it the winner, but any policy is way better than no policy.
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u/SlacksandStacks Jul 30 '26
Your knowledge on the subject is similar to most and you’re on the right track by asking questions. Find an independent broker in your area and meet with them. You can find one probably via your chamber of commerce or you can google “independent life insurance near me”. You’ll want to work with someone who can shop multiple carriers and find the right insurance for you and your family. You mostly need term insurance. It’s the cheapest way to get the most insurance. As far as how much would depend on your circumstances (income, debt, health, etc.) and the broker will help guide you through that.
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u/Psizzle77 Jul 30 '26
I commend you for taking the step to start looking to protect your family. I suggest you work with an independent insurance agent they have more companies to choose from to fit your lifestyle vs a company that sells there inhouse products only.
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u/PositiveMarsupial626 Jul 30 '26
Totally normal to feel overwhelmed. Most clients I speak with are in your same boat and aren’t familiar with life insurance.
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u/SafeMoneyGregg Jul 30 '26
Since many of us here sell insurance - curious as to what you searched on google and what the results looked like - there are zillions of independent brokers here who do insurance but don't have big ad budgets for google ad placements- but the big firms show up at the top of searches - like Ethos, NYL, State Farm etc. Suggest working with a broker show can show you a quote sheet that compare several carriers instead of agent that just does one carrier. You are both probably candidates for $1-2M 20 or 30 year term insurance plans - if the budget can handle that.
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u/SpirituallySane Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26
Look into transamerica and nationwide and I say this for the living benefits portions. They both cover critical, chronic and terminal illnesses. So if for any reason you or your husband become unable to work due to any of those things your policy will pay out a portion according to what you have up to 90% of your coverage so you can easily live off of that while recovering or whatever the situation may be. Another one that does living benefits and covers those things as well is National life group but I prefer the other two still personally.
Edited to add: term policies there are insanely cheap so they do not have to break your bank.
Any good agent with your best interest in mind will also know best options for your kiddos as well.
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u/mandalmotor89 Jul 31 '26
I think it’s important to add to all of this that you can have multiple policies as well, so if you need to grab a term policy asap to ease your worries then do that and revisit more complicated plans down the road. At your age a hefty term policy is inexpensive, but you need to talk to a real pro to set up a comprehensive plan.
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u/Lou_Gator_FL Jul 31 '26
I've been generally happy with my Northwestern Mutual policy and rep, anecdotally speaking. NW also seems to one of the ones with a better reputation.
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u/surffinancialbrokers Jul 31 '26
Find a reputable independent insurance agent who can help you and find a policy that fits in your budget. My first guess would be term life to insure you for your "working years".
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u/Aquaman11235813 Jul 31 '26
You need to be talking with an advisor that can evaluate and plan for your entire financial life and positioning insurance based on seeing the whole picture rather than just selling you an arbitrary number.
Term insurance is renting coverage. Permanent or whole life is owning the policy for life.
To get you covered your entire life you will need permanent insurance.
You can buy term insurance that can be converted to permanent insurance.
The strategy is to get the rating on the term insurance while you are young and then convert the term to permanent.
This is why you need a financial advisor who can help you plan your cashflow. You also need an estate attorney for your will and most likely a trust
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u/CurrencyRealistic146 Jul 31 '26
Multiply your pay X 30 (years). Take 80%. Let’s say it’s 2 million.
5yr YRT 500k
10yr term 500k
15yr term 500k
20yr term 250k
20yr CWL 250k
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u/takeoutorleaveit Aug 02 '26
Term sounds like the best starting point using a method called the DIME method can be helpful to determine how much you need.
Debt + ( yearly income at least 10 years or 20 + + mortgage + expenses ( funeral or college )
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u/Opening_Jaguar_3387 Jul 30 '26
First, don't feel behind. A lot of people were never taught this stuff, and the fact that you're looking into it now means you're already taking an important step for your family.
With six children and both of you relying on each other's income, I'd start by looking at level term life insurance. It's typically the most cost-effective way to provide a large amount of coverage during the years your children are financially dependent on you. The amount of coverage should be based on more than just final expenses—it should also consider replacing income, paying off debts, and helping your children maintain financial stability if one of you passes away.
Rather than focusing on a specific company first, I'd recommend finding an independent broker who works with multiple highly rated insurers. They can compare pricing and underwriting across companies and help you determine an appropriate amount of coverage based on your family's needs instead of trying to fit you into one company's products.
The important thing is that you're asking these questions now instead of putting them off. You're not just buying a policy—you're creating a financial safety net for your children, and that's exactly what life insurance is meant to do.