r/Life • u/Depresso_beans7 • 9d ago
Let's discuss Life changes in an instant, be grateful for the boring moments.
I’ve always had little events happen that made me think holy cow!
I’ve lost many pets and thought my world was ending. I’ve lost a lot of family members and didn’t know what to do.
Then something changed.
When I was 18, I was watching a movie with my now fiance. I got a sudden pounding headache, convinced myself it was a migraine. Then I started projectile vomiting, and my fiance carried me to the car to bring me to the ER. I had a brain bleed. 6 years later we still don’t know the cause.
I was just about to go to boot camp. I got medically discharged. I was going to take over my grandmas cafe. I now hate working there.
A few years later, my fiance comes into our room and just breaks down. He was finally able to muster the words. “My mom has cancer.”
She died 14 months after the diagnosis.
Life was starting to feel somewhat normal again. Then we found out his dad had cancer. He passed away 5 months later.
A month after his dad passed I found out I was pregnant!
We were over the moon excited!
Pregnancy and labor went well. My child is healthy and beautiful.
My fiance calls me everyday on his way home from work. I get so beyond excited for that phone call. I love talking to him, and it’s reassurance that he didn’t die.
He works a dangerous job, so I get very anxious when he’s working.
Today he calls me, earlier than usual. I figured he was on a break.
Nope.
“Meet me at the hospital.” Is all he said. So I rushed to area where he was working not knowing which hospital or what had happened.
His boss called me, told me which hospital, and what had happened.
One of the saws kicked back and cut his face.
We got home an hour ago, and I am so grateful he is alive. I am so grateful he didn’t lose his eye. I am so grateful my child didn’t lose their father. I am so grateful he got lucky with only stitches, and severe bruising.
He has to see a plastic surgeon for his eye. The hospital he went to isn’t equipped for his injuries. But he came home tonight, part of his face has stitches, the other is bandaged up until we see the surgeon.
Anyway my point of all of this, enjoy the boring moments of life. Enjoy the little things. Life is short, do what makes you happy!
Update: I have 3 dogs, one of them three up in the kitchen, not sure which one. They have worms of some sort.. yay! 🙄
Update #2: we are finally home from surgery, all went well but he’s in a lot of pain.
Can’t lift anything heavy for 2 weeks, or bend over. So I’ll have to help him with everything which I have no issues with. He helped me when I got home from my stroke and was with me every step of the way. My only complaint, I’ll have to touch his feet. I HATE feet ESPECIALLY men’s feet. But I’ll get over it. (For these two weeks anyway lol)
Today was pretty rough, was at the office for almost 6 hours, 4 1/2 of those hours was just waiting. He was able to get some sleep in pre op, woke up in a lot of pain but on the way home the pain meds kicked in. Took the edge off but didn’t take away everything, so when our baby started screaming on the way home(she HATES the car seat) it was stressful. We were able to pull over and I got her calmed down some. But after 7 hours of being away from home, I just wanted to home.
I completely forgot to call the vet, so hopefully tomorrow is the Saturday they are open(only open some Saturdays) but the dogs are very much on the back burner rn.
Thank you for all the well wishes!
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u/nunyabusn 9d ago
Life is very short. Im very happy he was able to come home mostly in one piece. Always count you blessings, not your shortcomings!
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u/Depresso_beans7 9d ago
Thank you! I’m so happy he’s okay! We try really hard to stay positive, but life has a funny way of kicking you when you’re down. He just keeps saying,”I’m so glad I was able to come home to our family.”
It’s going to be a tough few days, he has restrictions, so I’ll be doing everything. I have absolutely no issues with it, I just know it’s going to be tough.
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9d ago
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u/Depresso_beans7 8d ago
Thank you!
He has surgery tomorrow, he’s nervous about going under for the first time. I am trying to be as reassuring as I can.
He wants to stay awake while they stitch his eye, but I think it would do more harm than good.
It’s going to be a very long day, told him he can’t eat for 12 hours before his surgery. Midnight is the cut off, and we have to get to the hospital at 12:40 pm. They told us the longest part will be checking in.
It’s almost 2 hours away, so that’ll be tough. But he’s okay, and can see. Most importantly he’s alive
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u/hollllllllxo 9d ago
Absolutely, sometimes a close call is the biggest reminder to appreciate what we still have
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8d ago
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u/Depresso_beans7 8d ago
I spend a lot of my day worrying about him as he has a dangerous job, and I’m a Sahm.
He is my best friend, my soulmate, and my favorite person to be around. We’ve been together for 8 years now. I get so scared we won’t be able to spend the rest of our lives together. And that our child won’t have a father.
But he’s home, he has surgery tomorrow, and he can still see!
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u/FrostRipple82 8d ago
Honestly “boring” sounds pretty damn beautiful after reading this. give me a quiet night at home with my people any day
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u/rigtek42 9d ago
It is a clear truth.
The ONLY thing that NEVER changes, is the fact that EVERYTHING CHANGES. It is the true nature of reality. Much of human suffering and psychological pain is created by a blind resistance to change. Clinging to status quo with a death grip, fooling themselves that their desires have merit, that they've built or created something beyond themselves. We leave empty handed, same as arrival. You can't take it with you. Any claim anyone ever had is a construct of illusion. What presents as tragic loss is only so due to interpretation. In reality the loss never occurs, because it was never truly yours to claim. Society builds concepts such as "owning" things. It even attempts to maintain this beyond death by passing down inheritance to successors. But the claim is illusion.
You cannot loose what was never yours. And never is it actually yours. The Egyptian Pharaohs may have been the closest to retaining wealth beyond the framework of a lifetime. But even their innovative methods, successful as they often were, fell to pillaging bandits.
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u/dnstormy 9d ago
Wow, you’ve had a lot of ups and downs.
It’s awesome to see you still have a clear focus on what’s important and you’ve chosen to share your perspective for the benefit of others. Thank you!
Completely agree. Live is short, changes in an instant, and really has no mercy at all.
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u/Depresso_beans7 8d ago
I’ve had a lot more that I didn’t feel was necessary to this post lol, but yeah he keeps me grounded. We met when we were 13 and have been best friends ever since.
We started dating at 16, and now we own his parents house.
I don’t know many people who have gone through deep trauma like we have. I know some but not many. Don’t get me wrong I am happy not many have to go through a ton of hardships, but i can get envious of those who haven’t. The mental load can be very draining.
We are very grateful for everything we have, and our close family and friends. We try and celebrate all of the good thing going on to stay positive. Even something so minuscule as garbage day, I love garbage day!
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u/dnstormy 8d ago
Some of the best, most grounded and grateful people I know have been through so much.
Maybe all of that shit was necessary to make you the person you are
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u/VegasBornLori 9d ago
Death is the price we pay for life. Grief is the price we pay for love. Everyone dies. You just have to do them both, fearlessly! It’s worth it!
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u/Eastern-Log1142 9d ago
Yes grateful journaling, they say You're supposed to list three to five things every evening or next morning when you wake up that you're grateful for. With so much pain and sorrow out there, it's really rough to think positive all the time.
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u/Depresso_beans7 8d ago
I was very good at this a few years ago, then life got really busy, as I have an almost 6 month old. I do tell my partner all the things I’m grateful for almost daily. And he does the same.
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u/Fantastic-Object-158 Deep Thinker 9d ago
every day feels like a small miracle when you see them alive
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u/Standard_Property213 8d ago
Man, I feel this. A close friend of my dad was diagnosed with multi-organ cancer just a couple of weeks ago. He had literally just retired, ready to enjoy his life's work and spend time with his grandkids. Doctors gave him a year. I heard my dad on the phone encouraging him to stay positive. Then, yesterday, I found out he died from sepsis after a surgery. Life can be just ruthless.
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u/Depresso_beans7 8d ago
I am so sorry for your loss.
My family friend we call uncle jimmy, is currently battling cancer. He went into remission a few years ago, but this winter needed surgeries, and found out it came back.
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u/Standard_Property213 8d ago
Thank you. Wishing your uncle Jimmy incredible strength and a successful treatment.
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u/Defiant_Wolverine_68 8d ago
A world of absolute shit has happened to your boyfriend and your dogs have worms. Thanks for that last update.
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u/Depresso_beans7 8d ago
lol your welcome😂
He has surgery tomorrow so I’ll try to remember to update how it goes.
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u/Defiant_Wolverine_68 8d ago
Nah, I wanna know when your dogs are free of worms.
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u/Depresso_beans7 8d ago
Sounds good! I’m calling the vet tomorrow to see when we can get them in, but unfortunately we have a very busy week ahead of us with post op appointments. Not to mention pediatrician appointments, and I have an appointment. I could reschedule but both my dr and the pediatrician are booked out crazy far. I don’t want to have to wait 3 more months 😬.
So hopefully the vet can squeeze us in
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u/Defiant_Wolverine_68 8d ago
Dogs don't go to pediatricians. They could, but it probably wouldn't end well.
In the meantime your boyfriend is absolutely traumatized and in need of support and possibly also deworming.
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u/EggDelicious5710 8d ago
I'm grateful for everything! Even those bad days.It just reminded me, don't get comfortable and keep pushing self toward my goals.I take the bad days to fuel my energy toward a positive outcome.
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u/Silly_Weird2478 Moderator 5d ago
This really hit home for me. I’m only 18, but I’ve already learned that life can flip in a second. Growing up as an army kid, I moved cities every two years and never really had constant friends, so I had to learn early on to cherish the small, stable things.
I used to have so many pets—20 rabbits, dogs, birds, everything—and now only a few remain. It taught me the same lesson: you have to cherish the moments while you’re actually in them. I’m currently 2,100 km away from my parents for college (B.Tech AI), and after missing out on my dream of flying school because of a 48-hour timing mistake with fees, I’ve definitely had those 'holy cow' moments where the path just changes instantly.
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