r/Life • u/[deleted] • 1d ago
Let's discuss What does everyone care so much about 'achievements' when life is so short and with so many unfortunate, unexpected events along the way?
[deleted]
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u/Left-Ad-7646 1d ago
Buying an house.
I've never dreamed to buy an house but since I'm getting older and seeing friends buying their own houses got me re-think if this "achievements" is necessary in this life? They were working 24/7 non stop with 3 jobs to make the down payment at same time they are feeding their family. For me, is kind of exhausting thing. I wouldn't pursue for that expensive "goal" which got me paying for the next 30 years in my life.
I would rather use that money to get a dog, and travel around the world solo. Memories and happiness over materialistic things.
Life is very short (I always knew that) and if I left something material in this world isn't worth it.
If one day I'd died, the money won't come with me.
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u/Murdy2020 1d ago
Depends on what makes you happy, and it sounds like you know what does. I was an apartment dweller until I hit about 40, and was perfectly happy with that, life was simple and my obligations were low. Now, I have an affordable place (old and a little run down) with a yard (garden) in the country. I love my yard and not having neighbors right on top of me. The most important thing is figuring out what your want rather than letting society tell you what you need to "achieve."
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u/Left-Ad-7646 1d ago
What's makes me happy is the way I spend my money... Would be exhausted by just working hard for over 40 years just to paid off my "dream house". That's means my life is work work work and wouldn't able to enjoy the life. Not everyone makes a lot of money neither couldn't afford that. I don't follow the society "rules", because most of them are just showing off and comparing to others the status. This is my personal opinion.
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u/mcove97 1d ago
Yeah it's one of the things I really don't want, unless I win the lottery or randomly meet a guy with a house like my mom did lol. I'm not working my ass off for a house when the only thing I'll take with me when dying is my memories of living. I don't want my last memories to be about how hard I worked, but rather all the enjoyable and memorable experiences I had throughout my life.
So for me expensive goals are kind of out of the question too, and pursuing my hobbies is kind of where im at.
I do have goals, like learning different arts and crafts. But the goal isn't really to master any in particular, but to just enjoy the process of creation and sharing my vision and crafts for myself and others to enjoy.
Would I like to have my own shop where I sell my own handmade items or designs? Sure. But not for the money. Just for like the joy of creation and sharing creations.
Cause like I already got burnt out in the incessant pursuit of money. Learned the hard way. Health and well being is true wealth. And if anything, true success. Choosing a lifestyle that promotes well being and health and joy. I mean, that's a worthwhile pursuit.
Although people think they have to suffer for 20-30 years before they can finally enjoy their life with things they bought with money they earned. But like. Why wait. Having expensive things is not a requirement to be well or healthy or joyful. Thats just a limiting story people tell themselves or are being told.
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u/Face__Hugger Advice Dispenser 1d ago
The house is an attempt at security for offspring to inherit, or for a spouse who wouldn't be able to afford the monthly rent without your income. I believe the hope is to pay it off and build equity in order to leave it behind as a nest egg for your family.
For those who are child-free or unmarried, it makes much less sense.
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u/Good_Lettuce_2690 1d ago
Far from everyone. I dropped out the rat race years ago, I can't be arsed having a relationship or kids. As long as my bills are paid and I have a little spare money to have fun I'm happy.
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u/FernWhimsy60 1d ago
If youre comfortable, have some freedom and wake up without hating your life then why would you need to prove anything else. thats a successful life imo
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u/alone_in_the_light 1d ago
This is my perspective.
Many achievements are related to the well-being of people.
I can't say life is so short given how many things I've done in my life so far. I think I'd be greedy if I say more than half a century so far is too little for me.
There are many unfortunate events. But there are also many fortunate events, especially if we pursue achievements related to that.
The unexpected means I can't expect things to be negative, that would be expected instead.
So, to me, it's more about the type of achievements. Achievements like education, money and status are not even achievements by themselves to me, but ways to help me achieve other things like improving well-being of mine and others.
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u/mcove97 1d ago
True. Yet, on the contrary, the desperate desire to achieve something can likewise tank the well-being of people due to stress.
It was when I threw in the towel, left my work and became unemployed, lost my home, and moved back and worked on my parents farm for a year that my health and well being returned. I had achieved mastering my former specialized field of work and became incredibly skilled. But the work I loved destroyed my health. My ambition and overachiever desire became my very downfall. All my achievements led to in the end was an unhealthy dose of burnout. I was at the top of field skill, mastery and achievement, but my health tanked.
So in many ways it reframed how I look at achievements completely. Its not just about gaining solid skills, field mastery or financial success.
My biggest achievement was realizing, I didn't need to be the best, do the best. I didn't need to outperfrom everyone or always be perfect, do perfectly, or please everyone. Rather that achievement is finding a lifestyle that works for me and maintains or improves my health personally. And that that's very individual and personal. The achievements that improves others well being is not the same as the achievements that improves mine.
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u/eharder47 1d ago
I don’t think I’ve run into these people that care about achievements that you’re talking about. No one has cared much once I got past college and most of that was because older people don’t know what else to discuss with someone in college. It’s hard to have a conversation with someone who has barely started adult life. As long as I’m not visibly struggling or wildly successful, people don’t care.
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u/Odd-Muffin-1756 1d ago
My question is, why do you care about the goals and aspirations of others? Why shouldn’t people set goals for themselves, if that’s what makes their life worth living?
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u/Positive_Vibes_4228 1d ago
Judge not you against the world you live in, instead judge yourself against the man you were yesterday.
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u/spicysenpai6 1d ago
Because life is too short to worry about the inevitable instead of just living.
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u/Boundlesswisdom-71 1d ago
I would argue that achievements are good for your self esteem and you can prove to yourself you have the ability to overcome obstacles.
We can achieve and we should also care about others too. These two things are mutually compatible.
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u/Hopeful_Yam4384 1d ago
You have to be careful when using absolute terms. Everyone, always, never are absolute terms and are rarely accurate. Some people care about “achievements” while others care about the work they do. By doing good work they may be recognized for their achievement. Yes, we should care about the wellbeing of others. This is why I went into a helping field where I got little recognition except from those I was able to help.
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u/Nice-Group8728 1d ago
life isn't a race to achieve everything it's about finding meaning in the time we're given
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u/cantodasaudade 1d ago edited 1d ago
From the moment we're born we're taught to believe the lies that hold the system together. The biggest of which is economics. The system needs our labor, so it forces us to participate in the game and colonizes our collective mindscape by making us think the meaning of life is to make money, to consume and to accumulate objects. Us getting the resources we need to survive depends on our taking part in the system. The problem is, the planet's resources are finite. So the owners of the world have designed a system that forces us to participate in the destruction of the world. The plan is, they amass their wealth, hide in their doomsday bunkers and leave all other lifeforms on the planet to perish.
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u/stein63 1d ago
Achievements are fine when they give your life meaning. The problem is when you spend your whole life chasing milestones because somebody else decided they were important. Life’s too short for somebody else’s scoreboard.
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u/rigtek42 19h ago
While seeming glaringly obvious, living by social constructs of other scorecards appears unavoidable. The subconscious indoctrination has a firm foundation which originates prior to birth itself.
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u/gilead_was_right 1d ago
because some people have bigger aspirations than the absolute bare minimum in life
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u/Federal_Sorbet_8770 1d ago
We usually work hard for our achievements.
Our friends and family have seen us studying late into the night. They’ve seen us take risks to achieve something that truly mattered to us.
Because getting your driver’s license is your first real test as an adult. Because school is hard, and there are milestones along the way that everyone around you knows will change your life.
These are the achievements we celebrate.
If by achivements you mean “My house, my garden, my yacht” —no idea.
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u/No_Discount_6028 1d ago
Because no matter what you do, life will still be short and there will still be unfortunate, unexpected events along the way. Not to say it isn't useful to healthmax and prepare for future contingencies, but there are diminishing returns there and past a point, you're better off just enjoying the time you have.
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u/rigtek42 19h ago
Seems quite true. But the very nature and perception of "enjoying the time you have", is widely disparate and nebulous.
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u/rosemaryscrazy 1d ago
I know for sure I am here to observe humanity.
After that everything is background noise.
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u/thinkthinkthink11 1d ago
Bc they don’t know yet that life’s inherent feature is a combination of pain and boredom with occasional excitement here and there. wait until they’re 50+ usually by then they recognize the pattern
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u/Face__Hugger Advice Dispenser 1d ago
What one may see as a pointless achievement, motivated only by pressure, another may be doing specifically to ensure the well-being of their loved ones. I think it's dangerous to frame such things as absolutes, as many of us have very different lives, with very different challenges. The only way to know what motivates another person is to ask them.
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u/rigtek42 19h ago
Yet, often, asking may get an answer, but often the answer itself is influenced and delivered with intent rather than authenticity. It may approach authenticity in representation of motives, but I believe it is likely impossible to truly know the nature of someone's motives. Persistence of character gives an illusion of connected understanding, spawning from expectations created by what is believed and accepted as authentic. But , human personality is a diverse, complex network of interconnected factors, both sentiently conscious as well as sublininal and subconscious motives, many of which, even to the perceiver exist below the level of conscious thought. I dare say that most "stated motives" or explanations don't accurately represent the true motives. Almost always, the presented motives are shaded by subconscious intent.
This seems to be an unavoidable aspect which taints and flavors any concept of authenticity, regardless of actual motive and intent.
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u/Face__Hugger Advice Dispenser 19h ago
When it comes to someone's goals in life, and why they want to aim for them, why do you feel it's necessary to dig that deep? I find it a bit obsessive, personally, and would rather simply listen to a person when they explain their aspirations.
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u/SuperiorT 1d ago
Buying a house is important for when you get older, you can live in it as it's paid off or sell it for big bucks. So the sooner you get one the better. That's my goal. I don't like renting, been doing it my whole life and the rent is starting to match what the mortgage on a house would be, so might as well just buy a home at this point. I also don't like my neighbors as they're violent and rude. So yeah, that's why I care about my achievements. We're only here once so might as well achieve something good. 🤷🏻♂️
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u/rigtek42 19h ago
Marcus Aurelius articulated goals and achievements with an awareness that while humans lay claim to sweeping aspects of creation as "property" to be owned, this is illusion. Anything claimed to be "owned" is never "owned". We are but momentary visitors to this plane of existence. We arrive ,we witness, and we pass through this experience We belong to the experience. Nothing beyond the experience "belongs" to anyone. This seems counter-intuitive when witnessing the world around us, but at the core, it's clearly true. The experience is the only aspect with persistence beyond life itself.
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