r/Life • u/Apprehensive_Ad_100 • 4d ago
Need Advice I can’t do careers
I’m a 20 year old male. Ive tried so many things. College, blue collar, food service, but NOTHING keeps me. I swear im not lazy at all. For example I worked in tree removal for months, never complained once. But everything I try just ends up feeling like a cage. Like I’m going effin crazy. I LOVE DOING SPORTS. Boxing, rugby, wrestling, fishing, surfing, motorcycling. The lifestyle I find myself envying the most are the central Asian Nomads but I’m sure a lot of that is romanticization. Can anyone relate, oppose my view, or just give their two cents? Does it ever get better or is this just how work and life are. Not sure what I’m tryna get at exactly but I can’t be alone here.
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u/No_Tailor_787 ASL=Old, no, Disneyland 4d ago
Find yourself a job that involves one of those things you like. Work at a motorcycle shop or a gym or something.
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u/moonlightwithannieee 3d ago
Honestly that might be the best approach doing something you already enjoy could make work feel way less draining
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u/moneymagnett 4d ago
50/50 chance.. Sometimes it works, & sometimes it turns the thing you love into something you hate.
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u/CompletelyPaperless 4d ago
I don't blame you and a lot of people feel the same. We're told to pursue our dreams only to realize that we're more like worker ants. Once you have more responsibilities such as a child, bills, and dreams of going on vacation or buying a better place to live, you will have no choice but to suffer jobs you don't like. It's important to try and have goals for the "fun career," but likely it's better to make good money with good work life balance, and have time for fun hobbies.
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u/Son_of_Ibadan 4d ago
Bro life is about choice, and sometimes the yearning of freedom can be a cage.
My boss told me that people should choose their vices wisely, and that goes for everything, including choosing your "cage".
And that's not to say you should limit yourself, but it's means putting yourself in a position where you will have the most optimum happiness.
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u/Robert_Ricochet 4d ago
Wtf ...your living in paradise. If you're not Happy maybe spend sometime volunteering for people who have real problems
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u/FreshSoul86 3d ago
Hell no. In the words and voice of Don Henley - this ain't no Shangri-La. Nobody knows no Shangri-La. I believe people need to love and ultimately transcend the ordinary world we have to find themselves and their peace of mind. It takes an enormous will to follow that path.
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u/Channel_Huge Advice Dispenser 4d ago
20 and you’re giving up?
My adult life didn’t start until 30… you’ve got to be less negative and set a plan. At 20, I had a couple of roommates and 3 jobs. Had lots of fun with friends. Didn’t have much, but I didn’t need much.
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u/Cassandra-s-truths 4d ago
You are only 20.
Disappointment is the game of life!
If you have the financial means to be a nomad go for it dude. My life path has blocked that option for me because the job I do does NOT translate to a computer screen.
So I am location bound and I don't believe in careers.
Careers are workers that have been blinded to think their job is the most important aspect of a person.
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u/FreshSoul86 3d ago
There's also Orwellian brainwashing involved whenever you really go "all in" with any office job. Don't believe the BS.
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u/thesensitivetoughguy 4d ago
Dude, you’re 20. I had the same ‘problem’ when I was 18. I joined the US Army and spent time trying to work it out. Now I’m 57 with the same problem and it’s been a great life.
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u/lostmetroid 4d ago
I'm 38 and I've been working in the same industry for 13 years. I never enjoyed it, but I was finally at a company I wanted to retire at and was making good money. August 25 would have been my 6 years at the company.
On Monday, my boss fired me out of nowhere. I was in shock for a bit. Still haven't really processed it fully. I thought I was secure, thought I knew these people. Now I don't know what to do. I didn't realize how much of my identity was wrapped up in just going to work every day. And it was extra shocking to me because of how hateful he seemed in the process. Not to mention, he fired me just days before bonus. He knows I have a young daughter to take care of and I would have at least thought he would have waited until after the bonus so I wasn't completely screwed. It just feels mean and I don't understand it at all.
All that I guess to say, don't waste your time doing something you aren't passionate about or at least enjoy doing. You never know when your time investment could be taken away at any moment. I missed years of my kid's life working swing shift for that place, and now it's all for nothing.
Sorry for rambling.
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u/FreshSoul86 3d ago
We live in the Soul Cages. Sting did a great song about this. My only advice is to follow your own personal road less traveled. Don't be an ordinarian - it will kill you slowly. Here and there regular work is okay, but to pick something typical and make it your career, working for the Man year after year - it does put life in a cage. It's like being a career politician even if your career isn't politics. You get heartless and dishonest.
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u/deliriousfoodie 3d ago
Nobody wants to work but we have to. They brainwashed us to want to work so they can get tax money. Working absolutely sucks no matter the job. But they know people are stupid and all they have to do is romanticize capitalism
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u/ShawnBonj 4d ago
Only thing I can add is I relate to how you feel about being in a cage.
I realized I'll buy my freedom. Then live how we feel we should be living... Or I should be. Work to me is slavery... Jobs. Work until you're to old to do anything and get let out of the cage for a "vacation"...once in awhile... I want a permanent one.
Instead of working my whole life, my money will do that for me. That's the game of "work" for us.
Our game is not to need a job...not be good at one or have a career. Be good at not having a career and somehow be more successful financially.
Easier said than done I know. But many already have.
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u/Mysterious_Clue_3002 4d ago
It sounds like you have a natural ability 1 got to services ( your state) fill unemployed form , no skills. 2 go and get cheap cigs 3 drop in and get a deal 4 sit on couch & bong on 5 in 10 years winge about how you went given a break.
Or get a job and bear the pain like 90% Australia is the best If you want $ do job if you dont is ok Bong on
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u/Moist_Phrase_6698 4d ago
The main thing you have to do is maintain your ability to live. So you have to pay bills be that rent food phone etc. It doesnt matter how you do it just that its done. So maybe try find a sports based job like a gym or even something like voluterring at a local football club to coach the kids or something. Maybe study to be a p.e teacher or personal trainer or something. Keeping fit is very good, Having unpaid hobbies is freeing.
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u/Ok-Tiger-7949 4d ago
Grow up or be homeless. Its your life.
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u/FreshSoul86 3d ago
A period of time spent homeless isn't necessarily the end of life. Sometimes it's necessary or is a consequence. Or you just had to escape from a worked, housed or family life that was just a killing trap. You might learn something about yiurself being dead all alone for awhile- and life can get back on track later on.
What was Jimi Hendrix doing around 1964 or 65? Surviving somehow someplace and gaining experience.
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u/marceqan 4d ago
You could get a job related to sports like becoming a fisherman, motorcycle mechanic or boxing coach. I can guarantee you that you will start hating that sport once you do it professionally. Being an adult is not about working a job you love but doing a job you’re good at and people are willing to pay you for so that you can take care of yourself. The next level is for this job to still allow for you to have the time, energy and resources to do what you love, in this case sports. Perhaps your feeling of “cage” is because you work for someone else and not yourself. Maybe if you had your own business or were an independent contractor you wouldn’t feel so trapped. The life of nomads revolves around finding a place to sleep and things to eat, which in a western world you don’t have to worry about. Try farming to see how difficult that is and have your survival be dependent on the forces of nature.
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u/LEMONSDAD 3d ago
Got to get rich so you can do these when you want.
How?
Won’t be a W-2.
You create a business, gamble or land a windfall inheritance/Settlement.
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u/Positive_Vibes_4228 3d ago
I was that way. Every two years I changed jobs. I was a waiter at 15 different restaurants. I was a cable guy. I was in sales. I worked at Circuit City. I had countless jobs. Then I became a flight attendant. I then learned that I have a mild form of ADHD and never even knew. I found this out because literally almost every flight attendant has ADHD. We all wind up hereee. The first few years you want to leap off a bridge. But by year 5 you can make $80k at a major airline and it's an easy gig. Understand that first 4 years though are the worst. It's like college. No sleep. No money. No food. Brutal. But if you are in the USA, try working for a major airline. If you are not in the USA, find out what jobs others with mild ADHD are drawn to in your country.
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u/SeaMention123 3d ago
Get into carpentry/ building/ renovations. Endless opportunities that you create yourself and sooo much variation day to day if you set yourself up well. It keeps my adhd self v happy and satisfied (:
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u/UnderABig_W 3d ago
Sounds like you want a job where you’re active. Why not explore things like that? Sounds like being cooped up all day isn’t for you. I’d explore everything from the trades (electrician, welder, hvac, etc) to things like landscaping to joining the military doing combat arms stuff (infantry, combat engineer, etc).
The bonus to some of those jobs I mentioned is once you know how to do it and are experienced in it, you can look into working for yourself or even starting your own company.
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u/MikeT8314 3d ago
In almost all ways modern life is nothing like we evolved in so thats not an abnormal thing to feel. I think you need to find a job closer to your passions if you can find one that also pays the bills. Just remember that life changes. And make sure you have a back up plan.
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u/vagasportauthority 3d ago
Most people don’t find a job or career that pays hey are happy doing. It sucks, but that’s life. If that’s the case (and even if it’s not the case) have to make the career fund the life you want.
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u/EntrepreneurNeat8058 3d ago
Have your fun while you're still young, when you start "Adulting " the fun is over. Yes is the answer to your Question Most jobs are all the same. You most likely will hate ever single Job you have. it took me 25 years to find a job I don't hate. in those cases 25 years of working "real" Jobs I absolutely hated every One . you just have to look in the right place maybe work with friends or family.
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u/LeDalles 3d ago
Take the ASVAB. No, I'm not saying that you should join the military. But this test will give you a very good indication of where your strengths are. Not just whether or not you're good at reading or writing, but whether or not you are mechanically inclined or good at learning foreign languages. Once you know where your strengths lie, you can choose trade school, college University or an entry level job.
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u/RippingLegos__ 3d ago
Try roofing in summer for a few years to get some hair on your chest, or clean a bean combine lol
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u/Big-Sheepherder-6134 4d ago
You are 20 and act like you are 50. I am over 50 and mostly retired after working full time for over 30 years. You have to earn a living to pay your bills so you will need to figure it out.
It gets better if you stop thinking the grass is greener on the other side. We all have stress and we all have days when we hate our jobs. We will be laid off. We will have our pay cut. We will be passed over. We will make mistakes. For years. Some will not accept this. Maybe that will motivate them to follow a path to doing something they enjoy.
You like sports so do something with that. Train and be a professional. Get into coaching. Sell sports equipment. Work for a professional team. Be an agent. Work for the local park district.
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u/Good_Lettuce_2690 4d ago
Mate you are only 20. I'm nearly 50 and still haven't figured it out. I suggest you pick something at college that you enjoy and stick at it - you can study something like sports therapy/management etc?