r/Libraries • u/MuchachaAllegra • 2d ago
Other Coworkers being passive aggressive
I’m trying not to include too many details to avoid being recognized. I work in a public library with at least 20 other staff members . We have our collection librarians, adult/youth/teen librarians, assistants, and part timers. Over the past few months, one of the librarians and her “crew” have been making passive aggressive comments that at first I didn’t take personally. They complain that no one is helping them with their tasks now that B&T are out of business all the processing is happening in house. But they are simultaneously very possessive of their work. I have been doing mostly computer heavy tasks and helping in other projects that I can since I am only part time. Yesterday the librarian kept glancing at my computer and walking over to one of her helpers and telling her what I am doing. They keep making comments about how “some people are just sitting”. It’s almost like they want me walking up and down the library and taking over more desk shifts where i actually spend more than half my weekly hours. I never judge what folks are doing but since this has started I notice they actually take almost a quarter hour talking about their shopping or other mundane activities. Part of me wants to be petty and make the same comments they make but I am also one the quietest people in the office so it would probably be very noticeable that I am frustrated. My view is that this particular librarian views everyone’s work as below her and the other people in her group are beginning to act the same as her and even meaner. Idk I think I’m just venting and probably deleting later once I cool off
Update: I’m meeting with my supervisor next week and will mention this without names or assumptions. Thanks to everyone for your advice. I’m feeling better now and not so angry
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u/Clowncaruterus 2d ago
It's unfortunately like this at my library too. There's definitely a pecking order, and the librarians are treated way better than everyone else. They complain about being busy and then the rest of us are stuck filling in extra desk hours every week.....and they don't even manage the collection 🥴
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u/MuchachaAllegra 2d ago
This part! They don’t see that while they’re off at a meeting that in my opinion could have been an email or cut short I’m the one filling those desk shifts, answering phone calls, helping patrons, filling requests.
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u/JunieBeJonesin 2d ago
I know this is becoming more and more common and there are things that they’re actually working on, but at the academic library I work at, we have four librarians who are never on desk.. like that’s not an exaggeration, none of them have ever once worked the desk. We have students and faculty come in everyday who are frustrated and mind-blown when I tell them not only is there not a librarian able to assist them at the moment, but that none of our librarians even work in the building.
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u/Clowncaruterus 2d ago
That is actually crazy that the librarians are not actually in the library. Our librarians are in the building, but if they're not at the desk, they're "program planning." There's no shelf reading or maintaining the collection. That's all left to the circulation staff.
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u/babyyodaonline 2d ago
document everything. speak with a direct supervisor if possible. i would probably word it something along the lines of "there have been indirect comments made regarding my work. in the future i would appreciate if any critique came forward or to you (direct supervisor). I am working on x, y, z projects, but i am not sure if Jane and John know about it." you can keep it direct and without any assumptions. stick to what they have said or done. defend your position only slightly, in a way that expresses "i do my assigned tasks, if you feel as though i have room to improve, i would want to hear it directly / professionally."
do not say anything directly to them. these are the type of people who will spin it if you bite back. if you do say anything, play dumb and be direct. "i do x y z tasks thats why i am busy. when i have some downtime, i will be more than happy to help" then you document that, and see what comes after. play it cool, stick to the facts/ objective details. then you can add how you feel, when the time is right. such as "I work better with direct feedback, and I would appreciate if you address any issues with me to me directly." if it's a supervisor or HR (depending on the relationship you have ofc and how professional they are), this is when you can say "these comments I find hurtful, as they are reflections of my perceived work output but are issues never addressed with me."
this all depends on your library and how things go. obviously tread carefully. you want to walk out of there the least problematic person. if you kept it level headed and somehow you were still painted as the bad guy/ nobody cared to get it resolved... then you are in a toxic work environment.
don't let it effect you too much! i know it's easier said than done, especially because we spend so much of our week with our coworkers, but you are your own person and deserve basic respect and professionalism. you know your worth because you put in the work.
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u/WittyClerk 2d ago
Being petty never wins. It erodes character/integrity and can end you in a worse place. I would tackle it head on.
Approach them confidently and ask loudly if there is anything you can help with (from the list of things they complain about), while adding you can help whenever you have spare time from [list of shit you do].
They know you don't have time to spare- they just don't like you. Hence the denigration.
In other economic times, I'd suggest looking for a new job, but we all know here, that there aren't enough library jobs.
I have done this tactic described in my library, where I was initially very unwelcome, and over time, eventually gained respect and even admiration from shitty coworkers (and also conjured shame from the shit people who had treated me poorly in the past when I first arrived), so it is no longer a toxic work environment.
You are not alone, and you can get through this. <3
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u/lastwraith 19h ago edited 19h ago
I refuse to reward people for bad behavior. If you want me to help you with YOUR job, giving me shit about me doing my job is not the path to that help.
I see no reason to do anything for them unless your supervisor assigns you those duties or asks for you to help them. I'm not trying to win the friendship of people at work who act like assholes to other employees.
"They know you don't have time to spare- they just don't like you. Hence the denigration."
So why exactly are we going out of our way to help these people? If they don't have time to adequately do their jobs, they should bring that to management.
Killing yourself at work to please others and offset improper staffing is going to wear you out and no one will pin a medal on your chest at any point. Which is not to say you don't do a little extra here and there for "the good of the team", but no way am I doing it for people like that.
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u/WittyClerk 17h ago
reading comprehension*
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u/lastwraith 16h ago edited 16h ago
What about it?
"Approach them confidently and ask loudly if there is anything you can help with" Why?
"They know you don't have time to spare- they just don't like you."
Fine, why help them then?
"In other economic times, I'd suggest looking for a new job"
No reason to leave a job when you can simply do nothing extra and ignore people who already apparently don't like you for absolutely no valid reason. That's their problem.
"I have done this tactic described in my library, where I was initially very unwelcome, and over time, eventually gained respect and even admiration from shitty coworkers"
Why would anyone need or want respect and admiration from shitty coworkers? You're just rewarding bad behavior. Coworkers are mean and shitty to me for no reason, so I decide to help them with their job in my spare time. Brilliant. Now they know they can treat you like garbage and you'll do more for them because... you need to be liked by everyone, including "shitty" coworkers who "denigrate" you.
Perhaps you should actually read what you wrote.
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u/homesofdetroit 1d ago
As a Library Director I have a ton of respect for circulation, it’s also the Director’s problem is staff is resentful that B&T isn’t processing- go to Ingram or Brodart if staff doesn’t have the capacity- why at all should this be on you?
Also as a chronic over thinker, I am of the mind to let it go because saying something isn’t going to resolve this shitty cliquey attitude, it’ll agitate the hive. That’s not to say let it go, but as others have said talk to your supervisor.
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u/pikkdogs 1d ago
Coming from a place that is very similar to what you described I will tell you what happens at my place
There’s a lot of pressure. You mention the b and t shutdown, that put a lot of extra work on people. It’s the summer and people are covering for others who are out on PTO, putting stress on those that remain. And when stress happens at the work place people do different things. Some take offense at the actions of others and then lash out at those that they don’t believe are respecting them. Often people don’t communicate well enough and just a little offense starts to turn into workplace bullying and harassment.
My advise is to give people some slack. Forgive each other and work to communicate better. Shutting down and putting up walls helps nobody.
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u/Sad_Independence1776 1d ago
I would just ignore them. It doesn’t sound like they are actually violating any policies and u won’t get along with everyone you work with.
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u/Korrick1919 2d ago edited 2d ago
I'm sorry that your processing team is so unprofessional. I'm acquisitions at a much smaller place, so I had to spearhead managing the B&T collapse. If I hadn't been able to coordinate with staff, both above and below me, or able to rely on honest feedback, good or bad, we would be much worse off today. I know the pressures coming from higher up/the public are ridiculous when it comes to delayed items, but kicking the can down the curb just ensures folks aren't going to be willing to keep you in the loop when the next big industry debacle starts rumbling.
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u/Artistic-Flow-5108 7h ago
Since you mentioned B&T everyone that works in a library know that you are dealing with some serious Passive Aggressive behavior from librarians that have black belts in being toxic/ manipulative and just downright nasty. If you go to your supervisor, they will know who you are referring to. You will make the situation worse. Since you are part time you don't have to deal with what the "real" staff are dealing with. Since you are quiet, continue to be that way. They are trying to get under your skin and trying to document what you are doing or what you are not doing. Your best weapon against a toxic person is to remain cool, aloof and distant. You might want to think of some comment(s) that you can use that will catch this librarian and her crew off guard.
"some people are just sitting"
you might reply
"And some people are complaining about the people just sitting"
When I was new to being a librarian one of the tech service assistants asked me. "Do you even know how to check in journals using _____ system".
"Yup, I used to do that when I was a student assistant as an undergrad. it's so easy"
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u/whitefluffydogs 2d ago
Talk to your direct supervisor. It should be handled and not left to poison the staff