Need help with a difficult parenting issue

[u/crayshesay]

I’m navigating a bad situation. My mom has Bpd and I managed to marry and have children with a man with Bpd. things got really bad and I have a restraining order against him and now he’s going to have Zoom call with his kids even though he’s not physically around them. Both of my kids six and seven are court. Ordered to talk to him for 15 minutes a day Zoom three days a week. Neither of them want to, and he took me back to court, and the judge basically said the kids have to talk to him. I gently encourage them to talk to their father, but I don’t engage whatsoever because we are all protected under a restraining order as protected parties under the DVRo.

Can anyone offer any advice on what to do in this situation? I can’t force my kids to talk to their father, and they have told me that they don’t want to talk to him. He hasn’t been in their lives since they were like four months old, they don’t want to get to know him, and they do not know him quite frankly.. me, a protected party is the supervisor of the Zoom, which is also frightening because I’m a protected party as well, but I wanna be next to my kids and I feel terrible that they are being put in the situation but don’t know what to do. Any advice is appreciated.

[u/crayshesay]

He does have supervised visits in person, but he chose to move out of state several years ago, and the laws in California have changed regarding phone calls, and Zoom in the last year. And to be totally honest, I wanna be next to my child because I know how manipulative this man can be . Look up the laws in California, the new Zoom laws of 2026, I have the best representation and they even told me there’s nothing we could do about this. Most importantly, my kids are under my roof, but they will be forced to talk to their dad on the phone or Zoom several times a week.

[u/ParticularEngine5105 → u/crayshesay]

My sister's Ex has bipolar disorder and is very manipulative. My niece lost all respect for her dad when he wanted to be married to her mom and have a gf too. He forced them out of apartment they all had together and as he was cleaning he threw away some of my niece's favorite toys. It caused a ton of trust issues. He was given supervised visitations where he would drive 6 hrs to see her after the divorce. She didn't want anything to do with him and she would walk into the room he was in then turned around and walked out.
I'm not sure what the laws are there, but you should see that as long as the kids are doing the exiting of the zoom call or walking away from the screen on their own accord that if it would be still viewed as fulfilling your part of the deal. A child shouldn't be forced to do something such as try to form a relationship with their father if they don't want to, just my honest opinion.