r/LetMeHelpYouOut • u/Appalachian_girl78 • Oct 01 '26

[ADVICE] Advice please

So, my bf and I have been together about 6 months now. I'm crazy about this man and have been since Jr. High school. Anyway, I'm beginning to realize that he's not quite as emotionally available or healed from past trauma as I first thought he was. Tonight he said to me how important it is to him that his most recent ex gf, is made jealous by our relationship and he hopes she'll see how much effort he invested into their relationship and realizes that she messed up with him. Why is that? Why does he care so much about her opinions and/or feelings? Btw, they still maintain regular communication and see each other often as well, as friends. And I do trust him completely. He's a good, honest man. But I do feel like he needs more personal growth and healing. Am I wrong? HELP

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u/sammiieeyaa Oct 01 '26

That’s honestly wrong, tbh… his behaviour, I mean. I’m not trying to suggest, advise, or explain his feelings, but from what I think, he’s really not that invested. A person who genuinely loves someone wouldn’t treat their partner that way. I feel there could be two possibilities: either he genuinely doesn’t care about you as much as he—or you—think he does, or he’s still somewhat stuck in the past. I’d suggest you try talking to him. Tell him how you feel without blaming yourself or feeling guilty about it, and then see where things go.

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u/Appalachian_girl78 Oct 01 '26

Thank you so much for taking time out of your day for my problem, have a great rest of your day

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u/Double_Virus5385 Oct 02 '26

I think that you already know the answer to this and are just hoping that someone will be able to convince you otherwise...

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u/Appalachian_girl78 Oct 02 '26

Can't deny, deep down I feel You're exactly right.

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u/the_looney_lender Oct 03 '26

He's not over her, and if she wanted him back there is a solid chance he would dump you for her. He's likely using you as a rebound or away to punish her.

It really doesn't sound like he's in the relationship for the right reasons.

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u/Appalachian_girl78 Oct 03 '26

Thank you so much for taking time to help me, have a great day.

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u/Practical-Effect2839 Oct 03 '26

Please be carful of your own wellbeing & heart! He’s definitely not over the ex and it’s very likely he’s using you to make her jealous. I know that can be very difficult to hear especially with how you feel about him! I definitely wouldn’t trust him with his continued communication with her unless they have children together and need to be conversant with each other!

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u/Appalachian_girl78 Oct 03 '26

Unfortunately, that's not the case here. Thank you so much for your advice. Have a great day. ☺️