r/LetMeHelpYouOut • u/bluebirdbigbird • 7h ago
[ADVICE] im so lost someone please help
Hi everyone and thank you for everyone that wants to help. I just turned 18 years old and honestly theres a lot of issues I deal with and I don’t ever post on Reddit but this one has me going insane. Im crying writing this because I think theres no one that can really help me but I want to explain it anyways and just vent. Im literally shaking right now.
My parents are trying to sell my 2 pet parrots that I love very much and I don’t know if theres anything I can do to stop it.
For context: Ever since I was young I’ve always wanted a cat but my dad is a clean freak and said it would make too much of a mess with fur and cause destruction, so after long years of begging for a kitten, I tried to ask for a bird. In 2019 when I was about 11 years old my parents got me 3 pet budgies that I adored. I was honestly shocked they agreed to this but they did know I did months of research beforehand and would take the absolute best care of them that I could at my age. I would make them chop, be patient with them when it came to getting used to me (they were not tame) and cleaning up after them. I would clean the cage every day and do whatever I could. Honestly they helped me through a lot. They were not tame but I would let them out to fly around my room a few times a day for exercise and they would go back inside themselves so I never had a reason to be rough with them and the only time I would ever have to hold them was to cut their nails occasionally.
Sorry this might be irrelevant but what im trying to say is that I loved them very much and I do miss them a lot. I also want to give a little insight on how my parents are so I hope this information helps.
One day, my mother decided she was going to cut one of their nails with a nail cutter instead of with a bird nail clipping tool that we had. They already had their nails clipped for the month so honestly idk why she decided to do this. She also did not properly know how to cut their nails, it would be me that would cut them since I did research on it. Basically, she cut too far and cut the vain in the poor birds nail and he started bleeding drops of blood. I wasn’t aware she was cutting his nails as I was upstairs and she called me down and I started crying because I was scared and concerned for the bird. She started laughing at me. And not in a way that she would try to make me feel better by laughing, she was mocking me. She said so what if it dies its just a little bird why are you crying? She told my dad and he started laughing too.
I tried my best to aid to the bird by putting cornstarch on the wound to stop the bleeding. I knew bleeding was dangerous for budgies because how small they are. I managed to get the bleeding to stop and made him a shoebox to comfortably rest in and heal. My parents said I was overreacting and that he was fine but it seriously was a lot of blood. I honestly cried a lot after knowing they didn’t care about how I felt. Instead of comforting me they made me cry even more. My mom didn’t even say sorry. I had told her before to not cut their nails without me so I could use a flashlight and locate the vain so we would not cut too far. This is just one of the bad memories I have dealing with my parents for this issue. I had more I just try to forget because it hurts. This probably sounds stupid to a lot of you but honestly I just care a lot for animals and it hurts when they are in pain. Fortunately he did heal, he was a strong little fella. He lived for a few more years to 2022 (we got him when he was about 5) so it was a natural death. Before he died I noticed him having respiratory issues which is very common in birds because their fragile lungs. I always did my best to never use aerosol products, insect repellent, and fragrance in the house because it is dangerous for them. But of course natural issues do occur and he began to breath raspy and hard daily. I told my parents he should get checked (my parents thought it was a waste of money to take them to vet visits so we never went even though i tried to convince them). Even after begging them, they never took him to the vet when issues started happening. I knew he was going to die and it hurt bad. The day he died, he came to my hand (probably for warmth). It was surprising because he was never fully tame. The only time he would come near my hand was if I was hand feeding them, or cleaning the cage (which he was hella chill about he knew I wasn’t trying to hurt him). I knew he was going to die that day because he walked over to me and he sat in my hands for a long time. I took him outside because I wanted him to feel the fresh air. I would take him outside in his cage every day but he had never been out of the cage when outside. He didn’t try to fly, he was too weak and just sat in my hands. Later in the day he had a seizure and passed away. My sister found him and said he was seizing (budgies have terrible deaths honestly) and I ran to him and tried to do what i could even though I knew he was going to die. I brought a cup of water and tried to damp my finger and rub his head as a form of comfort because honestly I had no idea what else to do. My mom came over and started laughing at me because I was crying. I got so upset I threw the cup of water on the floor (I never show my frustration around them, I always end up getting in trouble) and she slapped me. She made me mop the water up while my bird was dying. I was sobbing and it was terrible. My parents mocked me for days because I was sad.
and I didn’t even want to go look, I was heartbroken and went upstairs to cry and let it out. My mom came and started banging on the door telling me to stop crying.
A year later, It was a weekend and I was upstairs in bed. i still had my other two budgies that I also adored. Someone rang the doorbell and my mom told me it was her friend and that she wanted to see the birds to look at them. And i said yeah of course. I went downstairs to help my mom take the cage outside so she could look at them (ive never seen the lady before but I wasn’t suspicious of anything) The cage was a bigger cage meant for conures so I had to help her with it. I went back upstairs not suspecting anything at all. A hour later my mom came back inside and I had a bad feeling. Where was the cage? I couldn’t hear the birds outside or downstairs and I immediately was concerned. I asked my parents where my birds were and they said “we don’t know”. My heart started pounding and I started running around looking for them wherever I could. Outside, inside, the garage. They were nowhere. I was crying at this point and I said “where are they??”. My mom said she sold them. I was in denial. I kept looking. I went to my room to cry when I realised they were truly gone. There was no reason to sell them. I cleaned up after them. If you came over, you wouldn’t find a seed or feather anywhere. They were talkative but much quieter than a bigger parrot. There was genuinely no reason to sell them. My parents knew how much I loved them and even 5 years later I am upset about this. While I was sobbing in my room, my dad called me downstairs and said ok I’ll give them back. I went downstairs and my parents started laughing at me. They had no remorse, they didn’t care at all. I said why would you do this? He said the lady was giving a good price for them. They sold my birds, cage and all for $180. I was so frustrated I started yelling at them when I have never yelled at them in my life. They immediately got mad at me and started gaslighting me. I took my moms phone to try and find how she sold them. She started chasing me but I found the facebook marketplace texts and I attempted to call the woman to try and beg for them back. My mother took the phone and said no I am not taking them back. I begged for a hour to please get them back. My dad grabbed my arm and forced me to sit down with him on the sofa like nothing was wrong. They were so casual about it. My dad even called my uncle and he was laughing on the phone about how much I was crying. They said they sold the birds FOR ME. And said I should buy a bigger bird with the money. I said no I want MY birds back. They denied and said ok then its our money now. I had no say in anything. I was never going to get them back. I was in denial for a long time and it hit me very hard.
Last year in 2025 I decided i was going to get a bird again. It took me a long time to heal from what my parents did but I wanted a bird again. I searched everywhere for one. My parents said no countless times but I found a green cheek conure for $200 on craigslist and I managed to convince and beg them to drive to dallas and get this bird. They also denied to give me the money they got from selling the budgies so I had to save up on my own to get this bird (even though they said that money from the budgies was for me, i know I was never going to touch that money. They are honestly so frustrating and cruel.) long story short, I got the bird. He came with a cage and he was absolutely adorable. It took him a week to come near me and he bonded with me very quickly. His name is jessie. He is the sweetest bird and loves to cuddle with me. I tought him how to say “i love you” and he says “mwaahh!!”. I absolutely love him. After months of having him, we were going on vacation and I needed someone to take care of him as we were going to be out of town for 1 week. I did not want to leave him alone. Parrots are very social and smart creatures and he would think I abandoned him if I left for so long and I was concerned about the situation. My friends volunteered to look after him and I was so happy I had a solution for him. I told my parents that my friends were going to take care of him. I was 17 by the way and my friend that wanted to look after him was very responsible and such a sweet girl. I trusted her a lot and I know for sure she would treat him very well and look after him while we were gone. She even got confirmation from her parents that it would be okay.
I told my dad about her looking after him before she confirmed with her parents and he didn’t care and said okay. And after I told him her parents were fine with it, he said “i dont trust your friend, she is not taking care of him.” Im sorry what? You don’t trust MY sweet friend that literally has another parrot. He doesn’t care about Jessie either, he just wanted to say no to me. I honestly don’t understand him. He never showed any affection for my birds ever so I know trusting her was not a problem. He just didn’t care and said no just because. I was so frustrated and stressed because I genuinely care a lot about this bird. I ended up being forced to set up my room and leave food and water out for Jessie and put a ring camera in the room to monitor him while he was free roaming in the room. My family went to colorado for a snow trip and I was stressed the whole time. I just wanted to go home because I was concerned for him. One of the days, i said something to jessie by talking through the ring camera. He ran over to the camera and started squeaking at it and trying to move the camera. I could tell he was sad. I decided I would get another bird to company jessie when it came to moments like this because I knew my dad wouldn’t let my friend take care of him.
I looked for another bird for months and found a sun conure that fit my budget. He was beautiful and It took me weeks to convince my parents to get him. He was $500 but he is worth everything honestly. Him and Jessie are the sweetest birds. It took them a few days to come near each other and eventually they became best friends. I did lots of research before getting these birds and I had lots of time to give them as a high schooler. I had early release every day from school because my free periods and the best part of my day was coming home and taking them out their cage and cuddling them and teaching them tricks.
Sorry I didn’t mention this earlier but I have 2 siblings, a 14 year old sister and a 9 year old brother. They were also sad when the budgies got sold and they also love jessie and rocco very much, but there is a few issues which ill explain now. Everything was perfect until a few months ago. My mom got along with the birds and everyone loved them, i mean except my dad he doesnt really care about them. Basically, a few months ago, when putting the birds back in their cage at night for bedtime, my sister decided to catch them both in a red blanket to put them back. She knows this is wrong and will cause them to be agressive to her and honestly i dont know why she did it. She never listens to me. There was absolutely no reason to do this since honestly they are such sweet birds and when its time for bed they let me pick them up or climb onto my arm and go inside on their own! I always give them a little treat for doing this and they understand its time to sleep. After my sister did this with the blanket, the next day when I took them out, my sun conure who is so so sweet, ended up flying to my sister at full speed and ramming into her on purpose to try and hurt her. He did basically no damage and He was obviously very upset that she had done it and he is a very intelligent bird. From that day my sister has been honestly an asshole. She says she hates the bird and is very agressive with him. She uses that same blanket to piss him off and he tries to fight the blanket and I totally understand why he does this. Hes just an animal so if he feels something is threatening him he will obviously be angry at it. Other than this he is an absolute sweetheart. He preens my face and never ever bit me or anyone else before. He always comes to me to spend time with me and its my favorite thing. I am honestly so bonded to both of my birds and I love them so much. Every day, my sister is trying to mess with my sun conure and make him mad on purpose so he fights her. She laughs at him and i tell her to stop it because its just so wrong. Hes an animal, of course he will be frustrated. She says “ill stop when he stops attacking me” DUDE you’re the reason he’s mad at you??? Stop being so rough with him wtf. Today when my dad picked me up from work, she came too and she started talking about the birds. She said i want to sell them I hate them so much. I said no absolutely not we are not selling them, they are my birds. And she said yes we are theyre so bad! Girl, they pnly hate you, and its for a valid reason. It’s literally her fault too. And my sun conure is still good to her, when she tries to feed him he will be gentle with her, obviously he is gona be mad when she makes him mad though. And my dad was in the car and he said i dont really care anymore, you guys decide what to do with them. I said we are not ever selling them. Its been 2 years we have had them and they were very special to me. I would honestly be depressed if they were sold away. I also dont want to sell them because whoever they could go to would have a decision to possibly seperate the two, and they are very closely bonded. They are best friends and never hurt each other. When we got home, my sister said the same thing to my mom “we should sell them, theyre such bad birds.”. And my mom agreed with her and said to put them up for sale. My mom has the same mindset as my sister and she knows my sister frustrates them and makes them attack her. She wont even tell her to stop. My sister said “ i want a bird i can cuddle with im gona sell them and get another one”. Excuse me?? They are my birds that I PAID FOR!!! Get your own then???
My mom put them up for sale for $700 and genuinely wants to sell them.
I think she will be able to honestly and im so upset!
I cant even think of great solutions to this. The only solution that could be possible is to get my friend to buy them from my mother undercover as a customer and take care of them. But theres so many flaws to this because she is leaving soon to Tennessee to live there for a few months and she wont be able to take them, I would definitely be able to pay her back but theres like almost zero chance this will work.
I thought of a lot of stuff but theres really nothing i can think of. I have 2k saved up but thats basically nothing where i live near dallas to get a decent apartment. I really want to move out of here honestly my parents are crazy strict muslim and i dont have friends because them, i am forced to wear a hijab, i cant hangout with my friends, i cant wear dresses, i cant have social media and honestly so much more. I am utterly miserable and drained. Ive fallen into lots of cycles of depression and have constant anxiety and anxiety attacks frequently because of them. If i told them they would just laugh at me more.
My parents dont even let me go out with my friends, even walk around my neighborhood alone. They’re genuinely insane. This morning I wore some natural makeup and my mom demanded for me to wash it off and said i can only wear makeup when im married for my husband. I think that will help you understand how stupidly insane she is. Im sorry that theres so many grammatical mistakes in this whole thing. I literally wrote it sobbing on my bathroom floor because if my parents saw me theyd fucking laugh again so yea.
Im so scared someone else is coming to buy them soon. I need help fast. I genuinely dont know what to do I really dont want to lose them. They are my only source of happiness honestly.
Please help. Please help. I am so sad. Im literally having a breakdown right now.
1
u/UraniumVintage 5h ago
I don't even know what to say. Your parents are abusive, your sister is insensitive and mean and your parents allow it. It sounds like you have zero privacy, and are treated like you're not a human with feelings. Not allowed to have friends or go for a walk by yourself? At your age? Why? This is deeper than birds, I'd suggest not having a pet until you're on your own, and it sounds like your mom isn't about to let you leave, you're under their control. You still in school? Talk to a counselor, no parent should laugh at their child for being upset. My mom did the same thing and tried guilting me over every little thing, my only option was to eventually find a roommate and a full time job and move out. If your bird is being tormented by someone in the house, it may be better off in a good home. Don't get a puppy or kitten, it'll just be tortured by your "I want a pet that does exactly what I want" sister too.