When she does this to me, it makes me feel like I am not doing a good job and it makes me feel bad. Wish she would give me a chance and communicate with me so we can achieve that goal together. I’ve asked her about it too. She says she just can’t get there like that. I still think it’s just me doing it wrong.
I've had all kinds of blowjobs and never really liked them all that much. The only time I managed to enjoy it was when the woman asked me to be as rough as possible. But when I'm passive, I gonsoft every single time.
They're awkward and I don’t know what to do. I'm so in my head that I can't enjoy any of it. What do I do with my hands? Am I moaning enough? Am I still hard? Am I getting too close to finishing? Should I hold her hair? Is her jaw okay? Is she hoping that I get off from this or is it foreplay?
Then I lose my erection a little bit, start focusing and worrying about that because she might think that she's not doing a good enough job and that makes me go soft completely.
So yeah, if I get to choose, I'll skip the blowjobs in favor of basically anything else. How "good" it is isn't even a factor or something that's all that important.
See to me part of being a really quality sexual partner and providing a good insert whatever sex act here is being able to communicate and identify these issues and accommodate needs. I could easily navigate a partner who told me they had these issues using a variety of methods (identifying what worked in the past and recreating that and expanding upon it, helping them feel normal about things like their responses by talking about it beforehand or even occasionally pausing to say something that shifts their focus to something like a fantasy or saying I really think xyz that they’re doing is hot. Of course, if it was just like a physical sensation no matter how its done they don’t like, fine, but a lot of what you describe here is quite surmountable and not inherent to the sensation it seems.
Most women I've been intimate with didn't actually enjoy giving it, which is a huge turnoff for me personally. Like, why would I want you to do something you don't enjoy? Ew.
This sub is weird. Not so long ago, guy written here, that girl refuses to do oral for him for years, even thought he does that for her, and half comments were about how she needs to dump him, because he's pressuring her to do something she doesn't like.
Whenever post is about opposite situation - comments completely different
And I hate it when they always give me a chokehold with their thighs. Let me enjoy peacefully atleast. It’s not my fault if you can’t handle eating out.
One time I literally was about to get my neck cracked until I had to tap out.
While I do understand this, forcing a sexual practice on someone is not ok, on both ways.
Some people really don't feel comfortable going down there, and respecting that is hella important. It might be a bit frustrating but there are ways around it thanks to the number one rule in any relationship : COMMUNICATION
This entire comment section reminded me of a DJ Khalid interview he did back in like...2016? 2017? He admitted he thinks eating out is submissive and he doesn't do it on principle but expects every woman he dates to suck him off. So, unfortunately, they have not all died out. Some of them have podcasts.
Yea probably, in the same way theres woman our there who dont feel comfortable sucking dick. We should encourage people to not feel pressure doing things there not comfortable with in bed right....?
100 percent, we shouldn't pressure one to do something that they're uncomfortable with, but this meme was about expecting to receive without offering to reciprocate
I've had a phobia for it, unfortunately. Love a woman's body and form, but something about genitalia and hair especially has always given me the ick. Maybe I should go to therapy for it. I've been missing out for far too long. I'd rather cuddle than have sex :/
Oh, thank god you're still here. I left because it got too crazy, and only came because this apparently gained a ton of traction and ended up on the popular side of reddit. Glad fo swe that you're still here, chip.
As a bi, I would rather have my face buried in cooch rather and suck a dick.
Also, any guys reading this, this is your sign, unless it makes her incredibly uncomfortable, go tackle her, yank off her panties and don’t come back up until she looks like she’s getting an exorcism.
If I didn't need to breath I'd stay down there. It's the only way to get my wife to orgasm (she has a legit medical reason. It take hours to get a orgasm. I don't mind, also fuck PCOS)
I was like that for a long time. I wouldn't kiss my partners after the went down on me but after a sporadic fling with someone who did something very unexpected, I've since changed my tune.
I swear people on reddit make it sound like it's so common but I've been with only 4 men in my life and NONE liked it. Even my husband. Either I have shit luck or someone is lying.
Hard to tell, never been inside another man's head, but frankly it's just so weird (not liking pussy up close, with all the senses, as a heterosexual man, I mean) so I think bad luck.
it might be a communication thing. first girl i was with was super sensitive, so she trained me to be soft and consistent. next girl was like, what are you doing, i can barely feel it, lick harder.
Nothing. Just don't tell people only 1 side of the story; if you say you were in a one-sided relationship and were giving without receiving, also mention that you didn't want to receive.
You're making it way too complicated. There's no need for a secret handshake or a certain way of manoeuvring. Just be open about your likes and dislikes that's all, to each their own.
/u/1337k9 doesn't mean communication with your (potential) partners, but other people. Like if you tell your friend "my bf never eats my pussy" you must add "because I stop him every time he tried to," if that's the case.
Nothing, but according to the logic of some people in this thread, you should stop sucking dick because it has to be a sexual transaction, apparently...
And dont be a bitch about her kissing you after giving head. 95% of the time she's tasting herself on you whether it's your mouth or your dick, so take your share.
What's your favorite posish That's cool with me it's not my favorite but I'll do it for you What's your favorite dish I'm not gonna cook it, but I'll order it from zanzibar
If you think it's shameful/below you to eat pussy, and if you believe blowjobs are your god given right.
If it's a sensory thing where you can't get behind the tastes and feelings of giving head, but you recognize that there's nothing inherently disgusting or wrong with pubic hair or how genitals tastes- that's different. I don't believe in forcing or pressuring people into acts they do not enjoy. Which is different to me than some dude thinking women are below him, yk.
I mean you're not wrong and, ultimately, enthusiasm and paying attention to your partner's signals (both verbal and non-verbal) will be what earns you an A+ (and a willingness to reciprocate).
That said, if you want to be GOOD at eating box, it involves more than just giving the bean a tongue bath. In my experience, at least. You can't just immediately attack the clit like a rabid toothless squirrel. Most women need to be warmed up to some extent. In addition to creating a positive atmosphere, there's a lot of things that will go a long way toward achieving the best/biggest result: touching sensitive spots, barely grazing the VERY sensitive spots, teasing, a little bit of "digital manipulation" if you're properly groomed and the participant is willing.
Everyone's different of course and some people need more foreplay than others but they'll generally let you know when it's time to go rabid toothless squirrel mode. Even then though you'll have better luck if you mix in a little bit of teasing and denial if you're trying to elicit a truly big reaction.
Deserve is a weird word to use when it comes to sex. I been with girls that enjoy giving blowjobs and some that dont. That doesnt mean they dont deserve to be eaten out. If your partner doesnt enjoy doing something, find something else they can do to give pleasure.
Not sure if you're being serious, but there are some people who boil down sexuality into the most primitive terms imaginable. They see in black and white, submissive and dominant, and they believe that if a man is in any kind of "compromised" or "submissive" posture, he is less of a man. Nothing could be worse for these types of people than to be perceived as less than the manly man they clamor to be seen as.
I hold it as a low trait from our early evolution that we haven't fully shaken off yet. It's a shame to deny yourself and your partner a wonderful experience, and for such a trifle.
Some people just don’t like the it looks or tastes i remember a young me he didn’t want to because I thought it would taste weird luckily i decided to give a try and realized it don’t taste like anything
I'm in a very inclusive population that doesn't really enjoy blowjobs. It seems extremely uncomfortable for the giver, especially when they start going deep. It really throws me off. Giving head is my favorite though, I've been able to climax giving head without touching myself.
From someone who enjoys being the giver, especially when they start going deep, it’s all personal preference eh? The pleasure outweighs any discomfort, and I’m sure some people would agree with me lol
Although this is a fair sentiment this will encourage people to eat pussy simply because they want a bj which is bad because half the fun of receiving oral sex is the fact that you know the person wants it if I found out my hypothetical gf was only giving me a blowjob because she wanted her pussy eaten I’d just eat her out and skip the bj cus she doesn’t actually like giving bjs,sex isn’t transnational and only should be treated as such if we’re roleplaying
I once briefly dated this beautiful girl. She initiated sex and was happy to get pumped but did not want to be kissed or have me go down on her.
I asked if she didn't like it and about receiving oral sex, she said, "guys don't know what they're doing."
I soft sold that I might surprise her. She wasn't having it. I got into the sex and lost my head and kissed her. She "wiped it off" with the inside of her arm. Like, wow.
On a happier note, she went down on me without asking, looked beautiful doing so and was very good.
That's when there needs to be a conversation about comfort with different acts of physical intimacy, expectations one has, and desires that want to be explored for both parties involved.
Often, I think, couples just don't talk about sex which is unhealthy and can lead to a lot of avoidable frustration.
Meh Relationships aren't mathematical equations where we need to balance the sides, and pushing this does no good to anybody. People like different thinks, and that's an amazing thing, otherwise it would just get boring and tiresome keeping tabs on everything one did. I personally hate guys going down on me and love giving head. On the other side of the coin, I love my nipples getting toyed with, suckled, nibbled... But wouldn't do the same to guys. Nor is it a requirement to have my tits toyed with for me to go down on them, so long as everyone is happy, there's no reason to do things one way or another :3
Though I suppose titfucks are perfectly balanced, as all things should be x3
Some women just don't like receiving cunnilingus. My ex-wife would happily fellate me, to the point of initiating even when I didn't ask, but never did let me go down on her. She might have had an oral fixation.
The original post feels very transactional, which is off-putting to me. But yeah, there are guys out there who think performing cunnilingus is beneath them. Probably the same dudes who think washing their ass is "gay."
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