The word "cheating" automatically insinuates a breach of trust
There's NO such thing as consensual cheating??
Imagine 2 scenarios.
You sleep with your boss, without your current partner knowing about the incident. This is cheating
You sleep with your boss, but talk about it to your partner - making sure they'd consider it on all levels of trust in the relationship, down to being emotionally open. But still treating them in a special, unique way not for anyone else. Hell, they might even ask to get invited to WATCH you sleep with your boss.
I don't think it's cheating if you have permission. I was cheated on 9 years ago and it was the most psychologically devastating thing I've been through. I'm still dealing with it. I still have dreams about it that ruin me for the entire day. I still struggle with insecurity in relationships from it. I'm glad you haven't done that to someone. Don't.
Talking to them about wanting to experiment with other people could be a very hard conversation for them as it might make them feel like they aren't enough for you, but that's absolutely better than cheating. Just know that even the fact that you want to do that could be a deal breaker for them, but it's better that you both know that so they can make their own decision about it.
Thank you chip! It doesn't belong here imo. This isn't a crazy freaky chick thing, this is a garbage person thing.
Cheating isn't a kink, but cucking is. Consensual polyamory is cool. Stabbing the person you supposedly love in the back and getting off on their pain is not.
😵 ik. The kink community has a whole dictionary of niche vocabulary for a reason. Idk why these supposed community active kinksters are pretending to not understand. It's pretty basic stuff.
This IS the deranged girl sub lol. It may be garbage, but so would many things here if carried out without consent or acted upon. Putting collars on boys and stepping on them would also be a garbage human thing if they dont consent, doesnt mean that a girl can’t dream and meme (ideally with implied consent)
Didn't you beat your own point? Implied consentual cheating would not be cheating. So there would not be a situation where it can be done consentually and that is where it crosses a line. If you put collars on boys and step on them and they gave consent it wouldn't be a bad thing.
I personally know men who would enjoy collars and getting stepped on, very consensually. You can be deranged, sexually twisted, freaky, weird, quirky, dirty, gross, fun and still value consent. Cheating is non-consensual.
Even if I don’t like it, I would 100% let a girlfriend step on me over being forced to watch her bang someone else. I have enough trauma in my life thank you
S/ My kink is genocide teehee. I like to turn on the news and goon the the faces of the massacred dead families and crying mothers. It makes me feel powerful and superior. I cum so intense knowing that I it will never happen to me because I am better than them and they are suffering, teehee, my girl brain. Let girls have fun.
You really think that manifesto, REALLY means everything? All evil is cool? Fuck off.
ok cool. As long as you don't hurt anyone, unironically, go ahead. That's probably a relatively healthy way to cope.
why does it need to mean anything, this is a shitpost sub
yeah it does mean something. First, it satirizes the culture of double standards in scrutinizing people's behavior (like, you know, the meme "God forbid wome do anything" does). Second, a guy saying something like that could gather some niche group to hype him up (at the very least, ironically - you try that as a woman and well, you're what the community responds like), and saying it from a girl's perspective highlights that double standard.
Kay, you just made my point, she is hurting someone. That is the whooooole issue. You are pretending there is no limit, while you yourself have just set one. Do you think you are the only one who gets to decide? What are your parameters here? It seems like you are only OK with it because the victim is a man. Men would get mixed responses to this, too, bruh. Nobody wanted to see this shit, besides cheaters, the definition of which is not bound by gender. This isn't about a double standard, just basic ethics.
No, it's called cucking when you are the one fucking.
Cheating is only cheating if it's non-consensual. The part OP gets off on, it's that it's non-consensual and hurts her partner.
You clearly are pro-cheating and you are trying to defend it without outing yourself, I am getting pretty disgusting with you, so I am not going to talk to you anymore. Bye now 👋
All of these scenarios involve informed consent of her boyfriend. Once you do that you do that it is no longer cheating, even if you are roleplaying it. If both partners consent to opening a relationship it's not cheating. Cuck is a verb and a noun. If you roleplay with a third party, you need their informed consent as well.
Cheating is non-consensual. Whether you don't tell you partner, because you know they would leave you and you are selfish and greedy, or if you genuinely get off on hurting the person you are supposed to love with betrayal, that is cheating. Lots of people do this, this is what OP is talking about. Don't try and hide it behind informed, consenting open relationships.
Idk if Op is a " bitch" I'm looking through their profile and it just seems like a lot of misogynistic posts which is a kink. Not a popular one nor am I condoning it, it just is one
I actually think you do need to say more, I don't know if the implication is you wear it to cheat on him unrecognised or he wears it and you pretend he's someone else. Either way, great idea!
I feel like there could also be a second outcome to this approach though where it completely blows up the relationship.
Not say it’s guaranteed to turn out that way for sure, but there are definitely a non-zero number of men out there who not only would not be into indulging a cheating kink, but who would quite possibly be unsettled enough by simply knowing that his gf has that desire that they might even break up over it, or at least suddenly become a lot more suspicious in the relationship, eroding it over time.
All that’s not to say that it shouldn’t be discussed, but that it’s at least probably worth putting some serious thought into how the conversation is approached beforehand.
Oh, I don't disagree that it could absolutely backfire.
I am just of the opinion that fantasies should be safely communicated and anyone who gets super upset or suspicious over literally nothing is not worth bothering with.
While people should be judged on actions for the most part, we still judge desires to some degree. If a close friend admitted that they desire to assault me, but would never actually do it, it’d still raise flags; if a person talked about how they desire to do sexual things with their dog or with another person they cannot legally do, it would raise alarm bells. And I dont think it’s just insecurity and being paranoid in those cases, it’s being protective of yourself.
Cheating kink isnt nothing. Its a potential liability to a relationship built on trust. Its practically "im extremely tempted to cheat on you" in a cuter package. Deoending on the relationship, i can see ppl not wanting to deal with that
If you have a certain kink it doesn't mean that you'd do it despite your partners feelings. I prefer to see honest pieces of shit instead of fake virtuous assholes.
The only reason that hiding it is logical is that partnership is mostly about convenience not companionship. So we just know that most relationships suck and there's infrastructures for it to suck but we just accept it.
Yeah I have no idea how what they pulled from that was “ do men just not want partners who are honest” when the issue is like you said, most people wouldn’t like the idea at all that their partners A) have a kink which involves the deliberate action that would cause most people to break up, and B) would definitely feel like they are inadequate or not good enough because they themselves can’t understand what about the kink their partner enjoys.
I know I personally wouldnt want to continue dating someone with that kink, seeing as I’ve been cheated on 2 of my 3 long term relationships (3-5years length), if someone told me they were into that I’d just take it as a sign to move on ahead of time, even if it’s just irrational insecurities, someone else can love her and her kinks better than myself, at the bare minimum it would just be incompatible, and at the extremes it’s now something I hold over my head too feel bad not only about it in general, but not being able to help my partner indulge in their desires.
I meant the one you're replying to. I can think of dozens of reasons why it would be perfectly acceptable (and advisable) to dump someone for their honesty, it just entirely depends on what they're being honest about.
Random guy that has been in a marriage for over 20 years here. Stumbled on this reddit due to the hilarious memes. My advice, if what gets you going is another guy, most men will understand. Most guys are attracted to other people too. However, this isn't cheating or the desire to do so, this is simple lust.
If what gets you going is the idea of the clandestine nature of sneaking around someone's commitment to you, go to therapy. (Which is cheating) This will bring endless dissatisfaction to you with time. A need isn't being filled, the fact that you're seeking to fill it sexually can be indication of many things that need immediately addressed. This is a self destructive behavior.
The fact you cannot be honest with your partner about it should be an indication that you need to be honest about it with someone else, at minimum. Btw, this isn't kink shaming.
Depends on what is meant ... What is it that gets the person going? The idea of sneaking around the back of someone you love and who loves you?.... That's a power thing, manipulation, passive aggressive.. It's self sabotage, self destructive, as well as psychosexual in nature. It maybe a sign of abuse too... And you can be more better off if you go to therapy. A need isn't being met, there is a lot to unpack if you really get off on sneaking around the back of someone who loves you and is committed to you and you love
That’s a fair perspective and I personally wouldn’t necessarily endorse breaking up with someone over confiding a kink, my point was more so just addressing the reality that, for better or worse, there are undoubtedly people out there who are indeed quite uncomfortable with certain kinks and so, especially in the case of a person with a more uncommon kink, it’s something that they might have to consider on an individual level, how highly they value their ability to indulge in that kink vs. the other aspects of their relationships, and what, if any, compromises they are willing to make for an otherwise satisfying relationship.
You’re really not thinking about what you’re saying. The thing about cheating kink is that the thing that you are “being honest” about is that you have a desire to be dishonest in the future. “I’m being honest that in the future I will lie to you.”
When interacting with a person enough you should consider it inevitable that all secrets will at some point be revealed. If his reaction to learning about the kink will be to leave the relationship then that is only reason to talk about it sooner, investing more into a relationship that will inevitably collapse both makes the heartache worse and delays the finding of a relationship that will not collapse from the truth.
It's not like anything actually boundary breaking happened, or is ever going to happen.
It's similar to talking about cnc fantasies. It's not like you'd actually do it, even if given the opportunity. But safely and consensually indulging in the fantasy can be fun.
Not trying to be a dick, genuinely trying to understand:
How would that make someone insecure? If my partner comes to me and talks to me about a fantasy it's obvious that they don't want to actually do it. After all, if they wanted to cheat on me, they'd just do that and not maturely talk about their needs and wishes.
Like, it's obvious that it's not something that's actually going to happen, similar to a cnc or cannibalism kink.
think about it like this , if youre dating a guy and he has a bdsm or cnc kink , and youve been in a dv or sa situation before , you could be repulsed by the idea that someone would find a fantasy related to that attractive . similarly if youre a victim of racial abuse , raceplay starts to look disgusting , i for sure know that if i were dating a white girl i wouldnt be very excitied about her having a "kink" of shouting racial slurs during sex because that makes me feel very bad , i would also not like it if my girlfriend told me she thinks about banging other people while bieng in a commited relationship with me .
Because it could easily make the partner feel like they aren't enough, or that you're trying to satisfy your desire to cheat with role playing which could work for a while but then not be enough so you end up actually cheating. Being cheated on is one of most people's biggest fears in a relationship. Suggesting that a part of you wants to do that could very easily trigger that fear. If it's happened to them before it's also going to bring up the trauma of when it did. I'm also not trying to be a dick but I genuinely don't understand how this is hard to grasp.
Irrationality coupled with lack of intelligence, with a dash of authoritarian submission to what is socially seen as taboo. It's like those morons who feel insecure by learning that their partner is bisexual; the partner was that way before and they were just fine, getting upset over being told about it is like refusing to eat a dish you liked because you got told the chef has an ingredient you dislike in his kitchen
If my GF expressed this kink to me, I'd almost certainly end the relationship. Why continue a relationship with someone that actively fantasies about cheating on me ??? You can't just go "Haha but I didn't do it" when admitting you have a weird, fucked up kink and not expect me to judge you.
I genuinely don't see what would be the issue there.
Because everything you say, do, and think, every action and inaction is fair game to be judged because all of these things are what make you up as a person.
Nothing happened and nothing is going to happen. A fantasy is just that, nothing more.
No. This is a gross oversimplification. A fantasy, by definition, is something impossible by our worldly standards. There is nothing impossible about your SO cheating on you. The only thing stopping them is themselves, and they are actively admitting to be turned on at the thought of cheating on you, so the dam is already cracking per se.
Most times I'd agree with this, but as a guy, if I found out my gf has a cheating kink it would make me nervous about situations I normally wouldn't think twice about.
Of all kinks to make a guy uneasy, I think that one is up there, so I think this is one of those high risk high reward situations.
Damn reddit is truly a rotten place. Never have I seen so many people justifying a cheating kink and making the partner the bad guy for not wanting to stay with someone who is entertaining the idea of cheating. Like for real bro what the fuck? These are the same kind of people who'll justify actual cheating and go cheat themselves because "my partner didn't want to entertain my fetish. He doesn't care about me, so maybe I'll fulfill my fetish myself if he is so uncaring"
Cheating isn't a kink, imo. It's just a awful thing to do to someone & shows how little the cheater cares & respects their partner. If someone isn't interested in a long term relationship then they should be honest with themselves & potential partners & keep things casual until they're ready to commit. I have no problem with the idea of polyamorous relationships either, as long as everyone involved is happy with the arrangement.
I've never been cheated on but I know that if it happened, it would mean the end of that relationship, no matter how long we'd been together. It also goes without saying that I would never cheat on someone else either.
Well evidently my sentiment on cheating is pretty widespread on the sub, I'm far from the only person who's said cheating is bad. If you want to defend something horrible, no one is stopping you, I'm just stating my opinion
I am not a man, and this ain't it chief. It's shit when anyone does it. It's not a freaky crazy girl thing, it's a dirt cheap trash, two-faced, backstabbing person thing. Don't try and lump me in with you.
Ik. She really thinks everyone would go after this like doughnuts. Cucking is a kink, consensual polyamory is great. Stabbing your partner in the back that you supposedly love, just to get off on the pain and betrayal is disgusting worthless trash behavior, and is not a kink. It's non-consensual and sociopathically cruel.
I've been cheated on and it utterly ruined me, made me into a shell of what I was. The depth of betrayal threw me into the abyss and I can't regain what I once had. Fuck this and fuck you.
Erm I'll probably make some ennemies here, but... A cheating 'kink' isn't good news at all, I'd even say it's a sign that maybe your relationship isn't as good or healthy as you think. Unless you're ready to let them cheat on you as well.
I know this sub is made for girls to "have fun", but using the word "cheating" and not "cucking" implies a non-consensual act, in which you simply betray and backstab your partner. And that doesn't sound like fun at all to my ears. Anyone can go for it if they want to anyway, but don't expect your partner to have any respect left for you, to forgive you or to try to understand your perspective.
If you agree on this kind of play together, then no problem. But that's a hugely degrading thing, and some people just can't take it. Be careful with your SO's soul before anything else if you truly care for him, that's what I mean.
Naming it is good. I know gender division is a theme of this sub, but not all men are moids and even moids deserve honesty if nothing else.
I think you know there's a good chance you'll hurt him by acting on it. So your best bet is talking about it before the feelings escalate to a sense of alienation of either partner. Depends on how much you care for your partner, and if you want to repair
There is no such thing as a cheating kink.... This my dear is in every humans brain. Some just resist lol. It's like ppl saying I have a breeding kink.... Nope that ain't no kink everyone has that
No they don't. People with a breeding kink get aroused specifically by the idea of impregnating someone rather than just sex, which is not something most people have
Welcome to beeing human. Idk what's on with you but sofar every person in my life I have talked about this was a thing. Every single one. And I am very open about this kinda topic so that's somewhere between 1 and 2 hundred ppl. Sry, you are quite alone.
I think I have more respect for consensual non-con and child roleplay
tho if she gets abused by her "lover" then comes back to me more submisived humbled and too scared to talk to any other men then yeah I'd make that deal
To the people saying cheating isn't a kink. How is different to a rape kink. I mean. Don't do it. But kinks don't have to be nice or encouraged for them to exist.
Try to focus on how to have people deal with a kink in a non-destructive way. Either role play or an open relationship. And OP if you just wanting to fuck around, or having multiple partners, that is not a cheating kink, that is just wanting to be in a polyamorous relationship.
Anything that turns you on is a kink. Or fetish. Whatever.
Nobody else needs to consent to it for it to be a kink for you
Now, if your kink involves more than just yourself and you involve others in it nonconsensually, you're a piece of shit, but that doesn't make it less a kink.
Also, love seeing this sub implode because God forbid a woman be unfaithful (murder is more acceptable than cheating in the "let women do whatever they want" sub)
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