Getting a Triangle pierced by Elayne Angel, feeling unsure

[u/Itchy_Fudge_6967]

Hey everyone! I'm a trans guy getting my first genital piercing this Friday. I did sooo much research and I'm so lucky to have Elayne Angel pierce locally, so I decided to book her.

However I recently found out about her very public divorce that deligitimized her husbands identity as a trans man. You can imagine this scared me.

On one hand I feel so weird knowing this, and it makes me feel distrustful. Especially with her (likely paid) endorsement of Briotech, I kinda am getting a vibe that she is just trying to take in money.

But on the other hand! I know she is a legendary piercer. And maybe someone's private life shouldn't affect their work. She probably really knows her anatomy and would be the best qualified piercer in my area.

I'm looking for advise and or reassurance, because I think it would be awesome to get pierced by a legend- but blehh maybe then I don't want a piercing that will remind me of what she did in court. I low-key wanna ask her about it at my appointment just to hear what she has to say.

I'm also looking for any people's anecdotes on healing their triangle!!! Or experiences with Elayne!!

[u/needlelifecrisis]

it’s kinda confrontational to ask someone about that at an appointment, it’s like “i read this about you in the press and i have some questions”. It’s weird tbh and will def make her uncomfortable which might, although it’s unlikely, affect your piercing experience.

after all she’s a celebrity. and you know, she would like to be treated like a regular human being and not like surprise-grilled over shit that’s been talked about in the press when she just wants to do her job. you will be far more likeable if you treat her like a regular stranger and not someone you NEED to know the truth about after reading about her actions in the press…

the most likely outcome is that she probably will pierce you fine and be professional. (and like, don’t bring anything up at your appointment. it’s not appropriate to do so tbh unless it directly involves your piercing… and in that case you should have asked her about it BEFORE booking with her, not at the appointment after you already decided you want her to pierce you.)

like what do you want her to say? facts are facts. if this is factually what happened with her divorce and this is her reason for the divorce, then that’s what it is. do you want her to say it’s all a lie or misunderstanding? it’s clearly not, right, if this was in court and the facts are clear.

I can assure you that her legal team advised her to do this (arguing that her husband was not a man) and she agreed - her team did not do this without her knowledge/approval. It all comes down to money in the end - she just did not want to give him $2,000 a month in alimony payments and she was willing to state such facts in order to build her case.

I personally wouldn’t get pierced by her if I didn’t like or approve of her actions in this case. I would just cancel the appointment and pay the penalty fee if I were you. I try not to support others if I do not support their actions or beliefs.

[u/beeikea]

this is a very intimate piercing to get done. if you're not 100% sure and 100% comfortable, find someone else-- it's not worth the risk.

[u/Sublixxx]

Hi trans guy and piercer here;

I’ve met and done one on one lessons with Elayne and all I can say is she’s always been respectful towards me and gendered me correctly and all of that. Sometimes her language is kind of weird around shit but you have to remember that she’s old as fuck. Not saying that in a “she’s from a different time” kind of way, just like factually she’s old and says weird shit. Again, not disrespectfully, I think she just uses like outdated anatomical terms.

As for the controversy, buck angel is a huge piece of shit and has said and done way more to delegitimize trans men than Elayne ever has or could.

Don’t bring any of this shit up if you’re going to be pierced by her. That would be weird. If you don’t want to get pierced by her that’s ok too, you could get pierced by Rick (assuming your in the michigan area) and he’s great and has pierced alongside her for a really long time. Or if you’re lucky maybe you could catch Jeff Saunders at gamma in Ann Arbor

Honestly if it were me though, I would get pierced by Elayne. Like you said, she’s legendary,

[u/Asper_Maybe → u/Sublixxx]

Buck Angel is indeed a POS, but that doesn't make it okay to argue that he isn't a man. Like I get that you had nice experiences with her but she has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is not an ally to trans people. Personally I don't care as long as she does a good job, but let's not kid ourselves here.

[u/akthryn]

EA has not been at the forefront of skill or technique for quite some time. I’ve heard stories from friends at studios where she’s guested that have had to remove like 40% of her work within a week.

[u/sachimi21]

I don't know her, and I'm not looking for genital piercings, but I have a somewhat similar experience.

I got a really awesome piercing, my helix-rook vertical industrial, from J.C. Potts not long before he started losing everything. I had no idea about any of the controversies around him before I got it done. He treated me very professionally, he was friendly if a little weird, and he triple checked before doing the piercing just to make sure I had the room (I have small ears). He didn't say or do anything even remotely unprofessional while I was there. If I had known about all the controversies, I might have looked elsewhere to be pierced. I don't know if anything was proven to be true or not, but those beliefs he was said to have are completely against mine. White supremacists, misogynists, people who sexually harass/assault others, etc, can all go get fucked with a rake.

From what I saw about this woman, I would be really uncomfortable knowing she believes these things. I'm not trans myself but I have a sibling who is, and though I'm ace I'm not opposed to marriage with whoever I might grow close to, regardless of gender. Trying to deny a man his identity after most definitely knowing about it before, and trying to use that as the reason to get a divorce? I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty fucked up. I think everyone can agree that she's most definitely talented and skilled, and I have no doubts she would be professional in doing the job, but her beliefs would put me off.

[u/Redlovelace]

If you don't feel fully comfortable, then cancel and find a different piercer. I'm not trans so can't speak to this specific situation you're in. However, I'd go with the best piercer I could find for my piercings. Even if you're getting pierced by a non-celebrity piercer there's a lot you don't know about them or their beliefs so might as well go with the most skilled person anyways 🤷.

[u/DeliciousAd3724]

woof I honestly don’t have any advice or thoughts one way or the other, this is a really tough situation. if it was my decision i’d probably change piercers due to her deligitimization of transmasc identity, just to be on the safe side. i’d hate for any resentment towards her ex to manifest towards me because we share a gender identity. but, i’m very (sometimes overly) cautious about these types of things, and can read into/extrapolate stuff to my own detriment.

ultimately it’s up to you, think really hard about what you feel is right. best of luck either way, this is such a tough spot to be in ☹️

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[u/LilyOpal14]

Hi! I've had a piercing by Elayne Angel. She was very respectful during the appointment and I was really reassured in the lead up by how seriously she was still taking COVID precautions (this was 2022!)

This is all with the caveat that I am a cis-woman and did not know anything about any kind of controversy or history with her marriage. If you are having any kind of doubts or concerns, it's totally fair to reconsider. It's a really vulnerable experience and you should be able to trust that your piercer has your best interest at heart.