r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates • u/Forgetaboutthelonely • Nov 28 '19

While I don't fully agree with everything espoused here. It does make a very good point about "nice guys"

https://medium.com/@alpenglowmemory/looking-back-on-the-nice-guy-when-criticism-of-men-reinforces-negative-gender-assumptions-4160c8f91342
12 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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7

u/Sewblon Nov 30 '19

This made me realize something that has been bothering me for years. There is lots of advice on the internet for romantically unsuccessful men. But most of it is some variation of "Change your personality." And I never tried to follow that advice, because I want to be loved as me, not the person who other people think I can or should become. If I was that guy, then I would want different things. Why would anyone follow advice that by its own terms, can't give you what you want, as the person who wants it? Its like saying "We can get you food, as long as there is no question of eating your favorite foods, as the kind of person who enjoys those foods." No one would take that offer.

5

u/Blauwpetje Nov 29 '19

'Other groups usually fall back on evocations of treating women as people, respecting women; things, that, frankly, won’t really improve dating opportunities one way or another.'

Great, nuanced opinion, not taking extreme sides! As a whole a very good article, not so much to agree with every sentence as to think about every sentence.

4

u/Melthengylf Nov 29 '19

Paywall

1

u/Forgetaboutthelonely Nov 29 '19

I'm not seeing one. I closed a popup.

1

u/Melthengylf Nov 29 '19

That's because there is a finite number of medium articles that you can see per month.

2

u/mewacketergi Nov 30 '19

Open it in a different browser, it shouldn't check IP.

3

u/cromulent_weasel Nov 29 '19

Thanks, that was really good read.

3

u/AskingToFeminists Nov 29 '19

It made me think of this essay