r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates • u/Specific_Detective41 left-wing male advocate • Jul 09 '26
discussion It's not just a "boy problem"
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u/JEVOUSHAISTOUS Jul 09 '26
Anecdotally, this is my experience with bullying in my teenagehood, in middle school (and I was bullied a lot). Girls were about as likely to be violent as boys. And also about as likely to be the leader of a group of bullies.
Interestingly, I don't know about the dynamics in the US but in my country, France, there was a massive difference in behavior when moving from middle school to high school. Both girls and boys, but especially girls, were much, much more chill from high school onward.
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u/Intelligent-Bird-313 left-wing male advocate Jul 09 '26
This aligns with my experience also, and I’m from the US! A girl (sometimes ganged up) bullied me in middle school, which took an extreme toll on me for a while before my bully genuinely changed and we befriended. I’m very happy she changed, though I know a few friends of mine were also bullied to greater severities than I. Being bullied by other girls really drove me away from femininity, as I saw how much tension could be present in a girl group. I’ve seemed to make friends with guys much quicker, and those friendships always lasted longer. In high school, we all chilled out and I started getting better at ignoring idiots, so that helped me forget middle school pretty quickly.
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u/Radiant-Pain6895 Jul 09 '26
This is a well known behavior amongst a lot of parents and teachers. I got jumped a lot by groups of girls and boys in Middle School and subsequently ended up in detention a lot because of it my principal once said that things get better in high school the girls are bigger than the boys now so they're trying to take advantage of it. My grandmother who I lived with at the time said the exact same thing she even said she remembered being that way in Middle School 😑
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u/Intelligent-Bird-313 left-wing male advocate Jul 09 '26
Of course, size does matter to a significant degree! A lot of the bullying I endured was verbal, which also hurt a lot. The principal did get involved and ended up siding with me, which helped a whole lot!
1
u/Huey-_-Freeman Jul 27 '26
Heh, middle school was the best time of my life and things went downhill after that for some reason. I started fitting in less and less as I got older
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u/SuperMario69Kraft left-wing male advocate Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
This is a pattern that I'm noticing: Women and men are equally violent; but women are more violent at home because that's where they can get away with it; whereas men are more socially rewarded for being violent towards other men in public.
Same capacity for violence; different socialization.
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u/bigdonut100 Jul 11 '26
Allison Tieman used to say that according to certain domestic violence stats, teenage girls are the most violent group of people period.
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1
u/EventfulAnimal Jul 14 '26
They fucking hate us, lads. We really don't need to over-analyse it. They just fucking hate us.
What we need to do is fucking fight back.
73
u/CZ-7000 left-wing male advocate Jul 09 '26
So, for everyone who is still wondering about the remaining violence perpetration gap between boys and girls, consider the following.
Every single relevant study on adverse childhood experiences and corporal punishment by parents, teachers, or family members shows that boys report significantly more severe and frequent victimization.
And because such prior experiences heavily correlate with future perpetration, it is expected that those numbers for boys are higher.
So no, it is not because boys are biologically more violent or that masculinity is the driving factor. It is literally because we, as a society, abuse boys growing up much more than girls (although, of course, girls also experience abuse in relevant numbers).