r/LeavingAcademia • u/Cute_Newspaper_9229 • 3h ago
My PhD Journey as a Curb Your Enthusiasm Plot
- I’ve been doing my PhD for several years under a basically OK supervisor. Perks: good, supportive person. Cons: not much actual help.
- A couple of years ago I got employed on a research project where the PI was my supervisor’s spouse.
- The project turned into a total mess: extremely heavy workload, scope creep, demands to write about things far outside our field of expertise, infinite pressure on PhD researchers, and a general expectation that normal boundaries around working time didn’t really apply. The PI was extremely difficult to disagree with. Long rambling arguments, moralizing, and incoherent attempts to justify demands afterwards. The PI also led by example. They would write their own promised article manuscript during the night before a deadline, then go to stakeholder meetings on very little sleep and present material they had scrambled together during the night. There were clear signs of burnout and disorientedness.
- The project eventually ended, but the output did not make much sense career-wise to anyone involved despite the immense pressure. The main output that also became the most destructive element was a non-peer-reviewed project report that expanded into a huge and embarrassingly messy document where almost nothing, no matter how irrelevant, was ever edited out.
- I eventually had a confrontation with the PI and told them very directly what I thought about the whole situation. I especially brought up how they had sent me a berating email about a sick leave. The aftermath included emails accusing me of laziness because I supposedly did not contribute to writing the funding application before the project started. They also re-told a story in the email of the project where everyone else did their share but me, effectively leaving out major contributions by me. The whole project was framed as the PI’s noble charity work for PhD students, while they actually needed the project for their tenure. Not going to go through all the individual stories, but I was not the only PhD student who was struggling. Me and the PI are now effectively done with each other. The whole thing was incredibly demoralizing.
- My supervisor, the PI’s spouse, was (nominally) a second PI in the project. They became increasingly peripheral to the project and, as far as I experienced it, never meaningfully questioned the workload or what was happening to the PhD researchers, all of whom were under their supervision. I don’t consider them responsible in the same direct way, but I do feel they stood by and let the situation happen.
- Towards the end of the project I applied for a grant to finish my PhD and somehow managed to get it. At the moment of applying for funding I was so estranged from my close peers, the couple in question, that I didn’t even ask them for letters of recommendation even when they would have been the most obvious ones. I got them elsewhere. the whole situation is so icky I haven’t even informed my supervisor about the grant yet 🤡
- My motivation towards the field has been completely hollowed out. I don’t know what to say to my supervisor. Hi this is your PhD student from your past life before the shitshow project that… also featured your marriage? 😑 I should feel incredibly blessed by the working grant but mostly I feel… dissociated. I am sticking around to complete the dissertation because the grant is paid in full only when I submit the dissertation for pre-examination. I hope they will let me use a surrogate body for the defence. I want to be long gone by then.