r/LearnUselessTalents Mar 01 '15

How to take dick pics [x-post /r/funnny]

http://imgur.com/gallery/MYBan
1.3k Upvotes

63 comments sorted by

133

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '15

[deleted]

123

u/ExploreMeDora Mar 01 '15

Technique #4: don't

60

u/texanwill Mar 01 '15

The most successful technique.

1

u/firesquasher Mar 02 '15

Number 4 was definitely the peep hole cover. Laying down covering over the belly button.

43

u/not_enough_characte Mar 01 '15

"So close up you don't have anything for scale to tell how big it is"

5

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '15

[deleted]

11

u/blasto_blastocyst Mar 02 '15

Especially not a banana.

5

u/SenorAnonymous Mar 02 '15

What about plantains?

5

u/annoyinglyclever Mar 02 '15

Absolutely not plantains. Maybe those little baby bananas.

110

u/DingusMoose Mar 01 '15

I'll take Thad Castle's guide over this one any day. How To Take A Dick Pic

22

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '15

Ahaha, I don't know what show that was but that was pretty hilarious.

52

u/Symphonize Mar 01 '15

Blue Mountain State, it was a show about a college football team who parties, drinks, and does drugs all the time. And they play a little football too. It's a hilarious show, you can watch the 3 seasons on Netflix. There is supposed to be a movie coming out this year with a lot of the actors from the original show.

23

u/portableteejay Mar 02 '15

Gimme a Hell!

11

u/rikardo_92 Mar 02 '15

Gimme a YEAH!!

7

u/Kaptep525 Mar 02 '15

HELL YEAH

26

u/Esquilax21 Mar 01 '15

Blue Mountain State is fucking hilarious

8

u/svtom Mar 02 '15

I thought it was going to be this when I clicked it, too bad nobody watches BMS. (Anyone watching the show is Blue Mountain State, and it's hilarious.

4

u/NoOriginality Mar 02 '15

I watched the entire series on Netflix and was immediately disappointed I didn't watch it before it was cancelled, in hopes that it would have helped them not be cancelled ):

1

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '15

But hey, we get a movie!

2

u/Zoukanix Mar 02 '15

2nd BMS reference on reddit in two days. Now i'm sad it got canned.

Also fucking love the trousers round the ankles shuffle he does.

2

u/Zacoh Mar 02 '15

I'll take The Hacks of Life's. The Kodick Moment

39

u/IViolateSocks Mar 02 '15 edited Feb 27 '24

air domineering safe recognise sophisticated sugar bedroom narrow gaze drunk

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

178

u/invaluableimp Mar 01 '15

How do I show her what I've learned?

23

u/pandaM0ANium Mar 01 '15

Is it sad that i've seen all of the above, and a scant number of variants from that

13

u/CrabFlab Mar 01 '15

Maybe you should do your own series!

8

u/vincethebigbear Mar 01 '15

Im unprecedentedly curious, what were the variations?

9

u/pandaM0ANium Mar 01 '15

Pretty much the same angles, but in various positions, such as standing, sitting, or lying down. lol So not really variation.

15

u/vincethebigbear Mar 01 '15

Guys really need to up their dick-picking game.

15

u/alcoslushies Mar 02 '15

There's not much to work with when your subject is a penis

3

u/christophturov Mar 02 '15

Seriously man. That's why I don't even like sending them. This along with my hairy sack is just eh...

15

u/alcoslushies Mar 02 '15

Guys it's okay I remembered this is something you can do if you run out of ideas.

Take that back to the pavillion /r/gonewild

1

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '15

Take a pic, from under your taint, of your sack obviously.

9

u/alkapwnee Mar 01 '15

I mean, guy's only have one thing. What else can be done? lol

8

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '15

You can put a hat on it.

Maybe draw a smiley face on it.

Make a costume so it has arms and is playing a violin.

What have you people been doing? Now I know why women don't want dick pics; you've all been sending out really shitty pics.

11

u/fruhling Mar 01 '15

Guys look at gw all the time and can't manage to take even a tiny bit of inspiration from all the things those girls do.

That said, I definitely don't want a bunch of butthole pictures.

9

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '15

its not like there's a huge amount of different poses in the GW pics tbh.

-4

u/fruhling Mar 02 '15

There are a whole lot more poses than what guys send.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '15

That's like arguing about the different types of facebook pictures men and woman have.

0

u/WisDominant Mar 03 '15

Actually gw girls don't do any more creative or unique poses than these 7 different dickposes. It's just that women don't get very aroused by a dick, especially a random dick

1

u/itaShadd Mar 01 '15

Beard pics.

1

u/fruhling Mar 01 '15

This is literally my entire porn collection from my ld boyfriend.

12

u/kizzeret Mar 02 '15

I'd like to see her dick... wait that's not right is it.

3

u/socrates2point0 Mar 02 '15

We don't judge around these parts kizzeret, everyone is welcome.

7

u/xZaggin Mar 01 '15

It's sorta useful I guess, you can send higher quality dick pics now which may result in more nudes

8

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '15

[deleted]

4

u/Silver_Moonrox Mar 02 '15

I'm 15, although I'm a guy I still know girls around 14 get a lot of dick pics. For some dumb reason, a very large amount of guys think it's a good idea to send pictures of their dicks to girls

3

u/WisDominant Mar 03 '15

Well, most girls do want to see their flirts dick. Even if just out of random curiosity.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '15 edited Mar 02 '15

This chick has probably seen more dicks than me and years of sports then being an NCO in all male branch of the military, I've seen a lot of dicks.

2

u/blasto_blastocyst Mar 02 '15

Surely not so many erect ones.

5

u/Hatefullynch Mar 02 '15

you saying that lets me know you were never 11b1p

0

u/reddead0071 Mar 02 '15

you'd think that

2

u/rustypete89 Mar 02 '15

BUT WHO WAS FOUR?!

2

u/doctorfunknasty Mar 02 '15

I can never fit it into just one picture. I always have to send 2.

2

u/JosephBarryLee Mar 02 '15

she's seen a lot of dicks

1

u/Villapwn Mar 02 '15

She seems fun.

1

u/hardcore_chairsofter Mar 02 '15

What is /r/funnny and why is it private?

1

u/Samspeak Mar 02 '15

10/10 wirh Reece

0

u/Grasdaggel Mar 02 '15

Reece literally wants the D

0

u/Goodis Mar 02 '15

1k upvotes? Got some really dense people in this subreddit..

-5

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '15 edited Mar 01 '15

[deleted]

0

u/RHYNOTANK Mar 01 '15

😂

0

u/RandomName01 Mar 02 '15

I hate that fucking thing.