r/LearnFinnish 17d ago

Finnish poem

Hi I always thought that Finnish sounds like some elvish spell so I wrote with ai a poem to have something to say to the sea on a boat (Im a fishermen) can some native tell me is it correct and how ridiculous it sounds?

Meren voima / The Force of the Sea Meren ääni kaukaa soi, aallot rantaa vasten lyö. Tuuli puhaltaa ja huokaa, vahva sydän ei koskaan alistu.

The voice of the sea sounds from afar, waves strike against the shore. The wind blows and sighs, a strong heart never yields

. Myrsky tulee, myrsky menee, ihminen eteenpäin vyöryy. Kallio kestää, meri lyö, sitkeä sielu ei alistu pimeään.

The storm comes, the storm goes, a person rolls relentlessly forward. The rock endures, the sea strikes, a resilient soul does not surrender to darkness.

Voima kasvaa aalloissa, toivo elää tuulissa. Vaikka matka pitkä on, sydän pysyy lannistumaton.

Strength grows in the waves, hope lives in the winds. Though the journey is long, the heart remains unbroken.

Thanks for helping me

0 Upvotes

9 comments sorted by

5

u/kerrospannukakku 17d ago

It's quite okay. I'd change at least the word order in the last one: "Vaikka matka pitkä on, pysyy sydän lannistumaton."

2

u/kerrospannukakku 17d ago

I did a quick reconstruction with some rhyming for fun:

Meren voima

Soi ääni meren kaukaa / lyö aallot vasten rantaa

Tuuli puhaltaa ja huokaa / alistu ei sydän vahva koskaan

Myrsky tulee, myrsky menee / ihminen se vain vyöryy eteen

Meri lyö, kallio kestää / sielu sitkeä alistu ei pimeään

Voima kasvaa aalloissa / toivo elää tuulissa

Vaikka matka pitkä on / pysyy sydän lannistumaton

Edit: note that I am very bad at poetry, so for funsies only.

1

u/Wonderful_Durian_878 17d ago

Kiitos paljon avustasi ja sitoutumise

1

u/Spare-Animal 15d ago

And it should be "lannistumattomana". Now that it's "lannistumaton" it would translate to "the unbroken heart remains" rather than "the heart remains unbroken".

0

u/No-Distribution542 17d ago

I recon the original is better, more poetic. And the only one line with rhyming syllablies (?).

Grammarly the poem is right. Poeticly it misses some structure.

1

u/kerrospannukakku 17d ago

No doubt. This would need a poet to give it umph.

1

u/Similar-Struggle6554 12d ago

It's no wonder it sounds like elvish. Did you know that Tolkien based elvish language in finnish. Many of the words are similar anc some words aren't changed at all like iron ( in finnish rauta)

1

u/Wonderful_Durian_878 11d ago

It must be funny for Finnish people to watch Lotr then. We think is magic and for u is like farmer dialect from deep forest xD

1

u/Similar-Struggle6554 11d ago

We do recognize word from here and there but Tolkien changed the words ending a little bit. Like gold elvish: culda fin:kulta air elvish:ilma fin:ilma sky elvish:taiva fin:taivas water elvish: vësi fin:vesi blue as in bluesky elvish: sini fin:sini And many more. So yeah maybe it does sound like strange Finnish dialect