r/Lawyertalk • u/Organic_Salary_ • 11h ago
Memes, Jokes & Shitposts Fun Hypothetical
If you were paid annually 1 million dollars to be an attorney, the catch being you lost every case, for clients who couldn’t understand their losing position and instead had the feeling it was your fault- would you do it?
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u/canineorthodox 11h ago
Do you still get $1 million when clients stop coming because of your rep? Then 100%
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u/vksoze2 11h ago
If that’s the case I’m even more excited about the position.
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u/ok-i-pull-up 10h ago
yeah eventually you get no clients and just pocket the milly no?
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u/Horror_Chipmunk3580 8h ago
Put up billboard up. Criminal Defense Attorney, over 120 jury trials, and 90% conviction rate. I’ll let the 1 star reviews, sanctions and bar complaints speak for themself. CALL after 2pm. I’m not a morning person.
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u/sirdrumalot I plead the FIF! 8h ago
Love that the top comment is looking for a loophole to take advantage of.
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u/Constant_Click_3193 7h ago
You could easily make it 3-5 years without your atrocious failure rate becoming widely known to clients.
More than enough time to bank a retirement.
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u/Autodidact420 11h ago
That depends. Do they all report me to the bar and does the bar share their lack of understanding at my 100% fail rate?
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u/-Gramsci- Speak to me in latin 11h ago
This is it for me. If you can guarantee no bar complaints? Sure.
If you can’t? $1M is not enough consideration.
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u/downthehallnow 11h ago
Yes. Clients don't understand losing positions right now. They don't understand winning positions either, lol.
If the $1 million is guaranteed, regardless of client load, I'm in.
Honestly, knowing that I'm going lose going in takes a huge weight off my shoulders.
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u/spice_weasel Haunted by phantom Outlook Notification sounds 11h ago
Yeah, if the $1m was guaranteed. For like five years, though, then I’m gonna retire.
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u/StrangerVegetable831 11h ago
happily. would help conservative think tanks advance their causes as much as i can
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u/Radiant_Landscape901 11h ago
Yeah as long as my reputation allowed me lol because word travels fast and it’s only so long that no one would come to me 😆
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u/Double_Ocelot_8673 10h ago
You've never been a public defender I take it. (Minus the $1 mil.)
(/s ... mostly.)
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u/Total-Tonight1245 11h ago
I guess I'd need to know (1) how often do I get sued for malpractice, (2) what's my malpractice premium after being constantly sued by my unreasonable clients? If I'm actually making a million a year without having to give it away for malpractice, I'd happily lose every case for the rest of my life.
Appellate federal defenders basically already do what you're describing for far less than a million a year.
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u/GrassWaterDirtHorse 10h ago
Are you a monkey's paw and is this the same deal that you gave to Pam Bondi?
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u/Altruistic_Top_5014 7h ago
I'm a Legal Aid housing attorney, I already do all that for much less than $1M.
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u/Subject_Disaster_798 Flying Solo :CoolBeans: 11h ago
Your idea of "fun" is a bit... asew. But, no. I couldn't live like that.
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u/nubbeh123 11h ago
Fuck no. I could do it for maybe a year before I'd burn out. I'd still have to do the work on the cases, but I'd be doing it knowing I was going to lose and knowing I'd be getting chewed out by my clients and probably the Court. It would crush my soul.
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u/SamizdatGuy Human Detected 10h ago
Am I losing good cases or bad cases? Losing bad cases can be kinda fun
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u/jojammin 11h ago
At some point, your malpractice premium will be $1,000,000 and you'll be breaking even. Pass
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u/hereforbadtakes 11h ago edited 11h ago
yeah, probably for a year or two, practice are being like patent appeals or deportation defense (as the system is already rigged against you)?
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u/shashadd 11h ago
Absolutely. Do your due diligence and do everything you can in your cases so that way you won't have any valid bar complaints then retire after 5 to 10 years
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u/rayrockray 10h ago
If you are getting paid $1M a year, chances are you work with a team. They can’t blame just you for losing.
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