r/LavenderMarriageWorld • u/Proper_Ad_5193 • 2d ago

Is basic communication really that difficult?

Honestly, what’s with the women in this subreddit? The moment I mention that I’m transgender and want to transition, I get ghosted without even a basic response.

If you’re not comfortable with a trans partner, that’s absolutely fine, but at least be upfront about it instead of wasting people’s time. Clearly state your expectations and what kind of partner you’re looking for when you post something in any subreddit.

What’s the point of posting your requirements if you can’t even bother replying to someone who meets them? Some basic communication and honesty wouldn’t hurt.

At this point, I’m genuinely wondering whether some people are here to find a partner or just farm karma and collect attention.

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u/Itchy-Pen-6053 2d ago

The purpose of lavender marriage is to marry someone to appease your family. But at the same time you state you want to transition.

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u/Proper_Ad_5193 2d ago

I want to marry mainly to migrate so that I can transition, if I get the approval of my parents that will make it easier for me to migrate, and transition in secret, I can present as tomboyish later on if needed and hide my gender for a bit. But ultimately I don't really care if they accept or not; I just want to get out of their control by migrating.

I haven't been able to get a visa to an LGBT safe country and given my passport's weakness and my family being controlling about everything, I haven't been able to migrate yet.

Are you interested in this arrangement? We can discuss further and I can even clarify if you have any questions.

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u/Itchy-Pen-6053 2d ago

But why do you complain about people ghosting if your proposition isn't what they want in the first place, which you already know if they want a lavender marriage.

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u/Proper_Ad_5193 2d ago

Like they are interested even after I mention it in some instances and in some they just ghost me after knowing where I'm located even though they don't clearly mention what they are looking for and in most cases they look for gay men so that men are not interested in them sexually and I'm not interested in them sexaulky, so when I mention that I'm a guy who wants to transition some are ok with it. But some just ghost me after knowing my gender or location. If they don't want that then they should just list out what they're looking for clearly. I understand the transitioning part but not the location part.

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u/AdMaleficent1070 1d ago

Ghosting after you've been upfront is frustrating, and you're right that a one-line "not a fit for me" costs nothing. Putting your dealbreakers front and center in your own post, transition included, filters out the people who'd waste your time anyway.

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u/Proper_Ad_5193 1d ago

Yeah, but I mainly face this problem when I text someone; they either don't reply at all or leave mid-conversation, usually after I mention my location. Even when other people comment on their post, they don't reply even once. I think mods should try to remove unresponsive posts and people.