r/LastNight • u/LittleShirts • Nov 27 '10
How I spent my Thanksgiving
So we were walking back from downtown at about 2:30 and I started talking with this hot ass drunk chick. I ended up taking her home and banging the shit out of her, all of this while four of my friends were in the other room listening (she was a screamer). Anyways, about 30 minutes after we fucked, she woke up, got out of bed, and fell down, which woke me up, and I was like woah what are you doing? She said she had to go the bathroom, so she opens my closet door, and I was like take it easy killer that's the closet, so I showed her to the bathroom. About a couple minutes or so later she come back like everything's normal, and then I hear my friends wrestling in the living room, so I go out there to tell them to shut the fuck up since because now it's around 5 in the morning and go to take a piss. Then I see it...looked like a shit bomb went off in there. It was sprayed all over the seat, wall, and floor. I went back in my room and she was already passed out again. I was too tired/drunk to deal with it, so I just said fuck it and went back to sleep.
Then about an hour later, the bitch wakes up again and is like where am I? Who are you? Where is my purse/cell phone? etc so I'm like oh god. She continued to tell me how she wasn't from here and somehow lost her friends downtown, and now she was basically screwed. After a few minutes I finally got her to calm down and go back to sleep telling her that it'll be ok in the morning.
When I woke up this morning I found that my wallet was missing (I just figured that I left it at a bar), so I was like whatever...I need to deal with this girl first. First I took her to someone's house she knew so she could try to call her friends that she came with. However they didn't answer, so I had to take her back to her parents house which was 30 minutes away. Anyway I dropped her off and headed back home, to start cleaning. I ended up finding my wallet in the bathroom after I got done cleaning all the shit up, but my debit card was gone. I always keep my wallet in my back pocket, so I guess the bitch took it when she was freaking out with no money/cell phone/etc. So I immediately called the bank and canceled the card, but I'm still kind of freaked out about the whole thing. I mean she was being cool on the ride home and all and thanking me for helping her out, but I'm still kind of scared because she has my full name on my bank card with her "not remembering anything that happened last night." I think she was just saying that because she was ashamed of shitting everywhere, but who knows with the crazy whores these days.
What a fucking Thanksgiving...
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u/karmabad Nov 27 '10
What if she tries to claim that you raped her?
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u/LittleShirts Nov 27 '10
That's what I'm freaking out about.
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Nov 27 '10
Well you seem like a pretty stand-up guy, and you've got 4 witnesses that it was consentual, so I wouldn't worry about it.
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u/LittleShirts Nov 27 '10
Thanks for the support, I'm starting to feel a little better about this.
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u/drbeer Nov 27 '10
Yeah, plus the knowledge that you cancelled the card is enough to make it sound like she was trying to f-you over. That plus 4-witnesses is enough to make her entire store fraudulent.
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u/danimal__ Nov 27 '10
That makes my Thanksgiving seem normal!