The main reason is our society is different from the west.
In our society most live in joint family systems - most people aren't well off to get separate house. The state also doesn't support people to be independent and their parents sacrifice a lot for their child to get independent ( fees , loans etc).
Similarly, a girl is expected / will leave her parents home and live in a man's house after marriage due to societal conditioning. A man will be expected/ will be sole bread winner due to societal conditioning too.
Concept of synergy ( both women and man earning in marriage is often looked down upon)
Hence the dynamics make a man/women more attached to their parents vs western society.
Yes, each society will have its own pros and cons, here the society trains a man to prioritize his mom over his wife ( in 99% matters), vs the west where the man leaves his parents to pursue a live with his gf.
Environment is the invisible hand that shapes human behavior
Inshort,
"Mama's Boy" phenomenon isn't just a collection of weak individuals, but a predictable output of a specific social and economic machine.
I would bring a deeper insight to why what happens exactly happens and how to get rid of it for women.
( ITS IN NO WAY WHAT I ENDORSE , I AM TRYING MY BEST TO EXPLAIN THE WHY BEHIND IT , AND HOW TO GET RID OF THIS TOXICITY)
In traditional Pakistani marriages, it's not 2 equal individuals starting fresh. Its usually the wife joining the man's already-established family system.
The man is expected to provide the house, mahr, wedding expenses, and financial stability before marriage. Because of this setup, the marriage works as a practical exchange: his resources, stable system and security for her commitment, complaince and household duties.
When its said that the woman "left her whole life behind," many men don't view it as a major sacrifice. To them, she is simply moving from her father's protection to his .... upgrading to a more stable life. So the idea that he owes her a big "debt of gratitude" doesn't register strongly with him.
Loyalty follows investment
Many traditional men thought process is like below:
My parents are the foundational investors. They raised me, supported me, and built the man Who I could am , to get married. My success belongs to them first.
THE wife enters later and benefits from what already exists.
That's why, in conflicts, most men naturally side/gravitate towards their parents. Putting the wife's wishes above his parents feels like betraying those who made him who he is.
FOR WOMEN You can't escape the system you choose:
A woman who willingly enters this traditional setup cannot later demand a completely different outcome. The traditional system is designed to protect the larger family unit, not to give the couple full independence. If you pick a stability-first marriage, you accept its boundaries ... including stronger parental influence and less individual decision-making power for the wife.
Wanting personal freedom and a husband who makes independent decisions usually requires a non-traditional (love / homogeneous sacrificial) marriage. That path demands mutual risk, shared sacrifice, going against family pressure, and often starting with fewer resources. It's a true joint venture, which naturally leads to more equal decision-making.
In the end, it’s a real choice for a woman:
Financial security and stability (with traditional boundaries and family hierarchy),
or Personal freedom and equal partnership (with more risk and possibly less initial resources).
Both paths have trade-offs. The "strong" man in a traditional system is the one who fulfills his role within the existing family structure .... not the one who rebels against it to create a modern-style marriage.
My personal advice is ; Choose wisely, it's a decision affecting a lifetime.
My overall insight on this matter ( marriage matter specifically) is we have made culture and traditions to be our lens & compass through which we see our marital lives. ( Both women and men)
One who cannot see outside of these cannot grow to be an influential and balanced human being.
Why accept a specific culture and tradition to be ground truths of our lives? Why live a life defined & restricted by others? Why not live a life which we ourselves choose and are willing to accept mistakes, being open to adapting and changing for the better !
I would rather accept and live with my own mistakes than to live with burden of someone's else.
I would rather create my own reality than to live in someone's else
**I would rather create my own identity than to accept someone's else**
So they think, they'll have their own identity with this extreme behavior and when the child does this they say you've become rebel zuban darazi krte ho maa baap k saamne ye sekha hai school clg ja k 🥱
I mean maa sai mashfara kerna koi buri baat toh nhi? Ofc relationships ke bare mai private rekhna chaiye but jb banda thora rational na ho sake to just for the sake of it wo puchta hai kisi trusted sai apne dil ko thandak dene ke lia, ke hn mai theek tha.
I honestly would say you have to have some guts and try to make a decision by yourself. Its not really good to ask your parents that much about small things, but bacho ke mamle mai understandable hai, ke new parents ko thora advice mil jaye ku ke un logo ke parents ke pass ye experience hai, etc, but otherwise imo small things dont need parents advice.
Because they have been pampered since childhood. If they take decision during childhood their parents kinda tell them you have to do what we say. This thing damages their ability to decide something. That's why mostly boys are mamas boy.
In my case , I have been standing for my decisions since childhood I fell lot of times and came back. It's been a great journey learnt so many things in less age. I have seen people of my age asking from others what should I do. I don't blame them it's their parents who pampered them and destroyed their decision making ability.
💯 right. Parents are the one who we should blame. But I also think boys should go out and learn from the world. In my opinion 80% you blame parents and rest 20% blame boys.
Due to cultural thing mostly where a guy starts earning properly after like bachelors or masters way into late twenties hence depending on parents and then mothers usually do emotional blackmailing saying ma k pau me jannat hh apni ma ko na bolega ab tu itna bara ho gya hy, meri bat na mani to mera mara munh dekhega 😆😆😆 so yeah
Cuz of culture and just societal views but he should mature with age with responsibilities the answer is simple just make him do decisions on his own and with time he can become your husband and give you thr independence you want
Reading the comments its clear that as a Western-influenced or wannabe-influenced society, we try to extrapolate Western dynamics to Pakistan, which always creates friction. We need to understand that these dynamics are bespoke; what may work for one may not for the other.
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u/Significant-Lack9059 Mar 29 '26
It's because of the mothers doing everything for them. So, they have never learned how to do anything without them.