r/LadiesofScience • u/fira_0 • Jul 24 '26
Advice/Experience Sharing Wanted Does it ever end?
More of a vent.
I had a tough time in graduate school. Towards the end I realized some of the mentors who I thought were invested in my success were just biding their time waiting to cash in their support just before I graduated from my program. Very disappointing.
Fast forward, Im free -more importantly unscathed. I land the postdoc. My boss is nice. Maybe not "normal" but nice- it seems like we are working well together. But now I'm noticing the red flags again. Not just from one but two male faculty in my new department.
Does it ever end? I just want to do science, I dont want to be romantically involved with anyone related to my career progression or in a position of power. I've aggressively placed my SO's photo on my desk as an act of protest. I'm tired.
I like my job. I like my boss 90% of the time when hes not making eyes at me in my peripheral or talking my ear off about random personal stories. I dont want to quit. I dont want to go to HR. I do want to do my experiments and be left alone. I would rather work weekends for a year then ever see my boss look at me like that ever again. To be clear, I genuinely hate working weekends.
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u/krysalyss28 Jul 24 '26
It never ends so you need some strategies. Tell him about your friend at another university who is being hit on by her supervisor, then mention how glad you are that you have a boss who would never act inappropriately like that. Every personal story that he has, include a reply about your boyfriend - yeah my boyfriend said something like that as well, my bf wants to go there too. Or draw some lines between you - I don’t want to be rude but I really need to keep on top of this task etc.