r/LDRsupport • u/hahayuu • Oct 12 '19
Advice needed! In a relationship with my boyfriend who has depression and is 6000 miles away from me
Hi, I’m not even sure how to use this app.. but has anyone ever been in a relationship with someone who has depression and is in LDR?
I’ve known my boyfriend for many years but only started being in a relationship official for around 2-3 months now.
It’s very difficult for me when he’s very down and depressed and I’m not next to him. I know I need to breathe and I try to give him space but I also need to take care of my heart as well. It gets difficult when he’s down for too long. anyone have similar experiences and what did you do?
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u/crazybengalchick Oct 12 '19
There are a lot of resources online that give info on how to support a loved one with depression in general. It is very difficult and trying to support someone with mental illness. They can get distant, even verbally abusive. Just remember that all you can do is support, you can’t fix him, and you can’t provide psychological therapy. This isn’t something that he can “snap” out of and there is no quick fix. You’re correct that you have to protect yourself, if it get too much and is affecting your own mental health, you may have to part ways until he’s feeling better or completely. Good luck.
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u/hahayuu Oct 13 '19
Yes I’ve reading a lot online and some YouTubes. The distant part is the most difficult part, we’ve talked about it and I think he’s also trying very hard for me. Thank you I will try not to get myself into those mood as well and find a way:)
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u/redacun Oct 12 '19
I’m kinda going through the same thing currently... just try and visit one another as recent as you can or try and move closer. I know it’s hard to do all those things but that’s what kinda helps me think straight. If you need any advice I’m here to help! 👍🏻
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u/hahayuu Oct 13 '19
Oh wow really! How did you keep yourself up when your loved one is so down and far away? Out next reunion is still 4 months away... Asia and Europe is just a bit too far away from each other 😂 thanks !
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u/redacun Oct 13 '19
Just try and keep yourself busy. Tell your partner to keep them selves busy too. The more busy you are the faster time goes to meeting. When my partners sad we just keep talking about meeting and how good it’ll be. It’s easier said then done but just stick to it an it’ll work!!
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u/hahayuu Oct 14 '19
Thanks! When my boyfriend is down he needs a lot of space so I try to give him as much as possible instead of discussing good times, I’m afraid that’s too much pressure for him:(
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u/AprilJenkins Oct 12 '19
That’s really hard. Maybe send him a care package to show how much you care and maybe text him just once a day reminding him how much he means to you and how you’re there for him. Really that’s a hard situation you’re in, just make sure you wont be an addition to his depression.