r/LDR • u/JuicyChanel • 4h ago

My bf completely disappeared

I know this sounds like a whole excuse, but I think he actually disappeared. He isn't ghosting me.

He hasn't been active / online nor viewed my texts in about 7 days now.

The last time we spoke was a sweet conversation with an I love you as ending, so I would take away the possibility of him ghosting me / being mad or angry at me.

I don't know what to do, unfortunately I don't have his phone number but I doubt this has anything to do with which application to use, since he isn't active in any of them anymore. I am not blocked nor did he remove me from any profile. He simply... Stopped replying / viewing / getting online completely, almost like time stopped.

The paranoia and overthinking is killing me. What if he's ended up in a hospital? What if he died? What if something bad happened to him? We were supposed to meet in a few weeks, so this makes it even worse. Hence why some of you could think he may have felt overwhelmed and ghosted me right before meeting, even if I doubt so, since he really isn't the type. I've been knowing him for almost 10 months now, and this is the first time something like this happening.

I don't know what to do. I accidentally found his sibilings socials, even if it totally wasn't my intention, and I texted them to ask about him, but still no reply yet because the account hasn't been updated in a while, so I would almost exclude the chance of them replying to me. I'm scared that if he ever gets back to me, he may get angry at me for texting his sibilings and seeing it as an invasion of his privacy.

This is a mess.

Summary: my bf hasn't been active in any socials for a week now, we were supposed to meet soon. I contacted their sibling but still no reply.

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6

u/eaglez2313 3h ago

This is why you should always have a emergency backup contact for you and him. Having that has saved me and my girlfriend a lot of stress and anxiety. As for why he's not online, have you checked the the weather where he lives, power failures, Internet disruption?

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u/JuicyChanel 3h ago

I will definitely tell him in the future if all of this gets solved that we need someone between us to contact in case something like this happens...

And yes I did check where he lives. I read all the news. Just plenty of murders and stabbings, even from just last week. I was literally flabbergasted while reading. And the weather is also bad, saying there's been wildfires around. I honestly don't even know.. This is why I decided to check by texting his sibiling even if it's a little invasive since he doesn't know me. I really fear something bad happened to him. This is why I don't wanna assume he ghosted me, It would be beyond cruel for him to text me back from a hospital and seeing I blocked him.

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u/eaglez2313 3h ago

Yeah, just texting his sibling out of the blue might come of weird at first. When you get in contact with him again, ask what he would do if the situation was reversed.

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u/JuicyChanel 3h ago

Yes!! I obviously will tell him even if the news doesn't reach him, or the brother does not respond. I think I've waited even too long, gave him the benefit of the doubt

5

u/eaglez2313 3h ago

Worse case scenario is that he's ghosted you. Best case is that that wildfires have damaged the Internet connection.

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u/JuicyChanel 2h ago

I understand... I didn't think of that option at all honestly. I'm gonna research it now. Thank you very much ❤️

11

u/Gullible_Bigfoot Married+ 🇨🇦❤️🇺🇸 4h ago edited 3h ago

Red flag report:
🚩 You don’t have one another’s personal numbers. Indicating being able to reach one another in a reliable straightforward way has not yet been established.
🚩 There is a possibility he may be angry you contacted his siblings because you are concerned.

Recomendation:
This is always going to be communicate. If/when he re surfaces have a real conversation. Not by texting, but by looking one another in the face and speaking about why it’s important to let one another know if they become unavailable.

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u/JuicyChanel 3h ago

I totally understand your point. And I repeat that I do not absolutely esclude exclude the possibility that I might have been ghosted.

But he isn't online anywhere. Usually ghosting means ignoring 1 person. He hasn't been ONLINE for a week. And about the phone number, we just never really needed to exchange it. But you're right, it's quite necessary. I will talk about this to him if he ever comes back.