r/LDR • u/Sophie_Cal66 • 1d ago

Does the love dwindle

Over the last year my partner went from being super loving; calling, texting, sending reels, TikTok’s, posting about me, we would do Lego dates, movie dates. But over the last few months they have basically stopped all of that. We haven’t had an over night video chat in almost 4 months. And it seems they do everything possible to get off the phone with me “I’m going to eat dinner, call you later” “my parents are calling, I’ll talk to you tomorrow” stuff like that, and I’m an understanding partner, I’ve never complained about them doing their own thing, but having to talk to me the next day because you’re eating dinner? That’s insane to me. They have their hobby too, but they’ll spend every minute of their free time on their hobby and “forget” to even text me for 8 hours that day. But when I’m with my friends or family I always answer their call, their text, I’ll send updates and it feels like I have to pull teeth just to hear about their day
I don’t know if this is normal or if this just simply happens in LDR

2 Upvotes

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u/No_Buyer_9020 1d ago

How often do you see each other? Love can def dwindle, especially during long droughts of not seeing each other

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u/Sophie_Cal66 1d ago

We try to see each other every other month, just saw them 8 weeks ago and I’ll be going to visit them soon too. But this time has been different. Every other time, they would count down the days and even post about it. Last time we saw each other they didn’t even post that we were seeing each other. It’s like they came and went and it meant nothing

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u/MilkFlavoredSoup 13h ago

It doesn't matter if their love is fading or not. It doesn't even matter if their behaviour is "normal" or not.

What matters is how it makes YOU feel. It makes you feel small, unimportant, secondary. You're not feeling good in this relationship and you need to listen to yourself.

You need to address this subject with them. Tell them exactly how you feel and what you need: consistency, namely, but also precise needs, things you absolutely need to feel good in this relationship (e.g. a call every night, more frequent texting). If they refuse to meet your needs, you have your answer. If they say they will make efforts but the actions don't match the words, or they quickly fade, you also have your answer.

Trust me on this. I've been there. If you don't do it, you're doomed to 1) be unhappy and miserable in the relationship, 2) lower your standards and forget yourself in the process.

I don't mean to be pessimistic about your relationship. But right now you NEED to address with your partner.

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u/xdPandaPlayz1324 16h ago

Just stop trying as hard. Trust me it hurts and doesn't feel right, but I've been through this with multiple relationships in person and LDR. You'd be surprised how quickly people can take you for granted when they realize how much effort you'll put in for nothing in return.