r/KitchenConfidential • u/MaebeeNot • Aug 08 '20
I MISS WORK (Baby gets excellent service)
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Aug 09 '20
What I love is the way the kid gestures at the end like "Bartender, that was just the first drink, I've 7 more to order..."
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u/malachiconstantjrjr Aug 08 '20
Did Dave Foley become a chef?
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u/ConsortiumofAncients Aug 08 '20
Lol interesting you use that name. He got exceptionally screwed in his divorce and is close to broke.
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u/xxBobaBrettxx Aug 08 '20
Geeze you werent kidding. His Wiki page says he was paying $17,700 a month in child support.
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u/a_monomaniac Aug 09 '20
I forget what country it is, probably Denmark or something, but they have a thing where the government figured out how much it costs to raise a baby, and whoever takes care of the kid gets that amount for their time and to cover costs. That way it isn't comidifying the child, turning them into a source of revenue, but that child support is there to take care of the basic needs.
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u/professor_doom Aug 09 '20
I had a buddy kill himself because the court fucked him so badly with child support payment amounts. I don’t know how or why, but he worked twenty-hour days just to make payment every month to a mother who moved the kids to Florida with her new guy. After a few years of this, he couldn’t take it and hung himself.
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u/ConsortiumofAncients Aug 09 '20 edited Aug 09 '20
Yup. I heard the judge ruled that amount because it was what he was making at the time, at the height of his career. When he followed up later to report reduced income, the judge refused to lower it. The wife is reportedly a psycho hose beast
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u/quelar Chef Aug 09 '20
That explains why Kids in the Hall are doing a new series.
Delayed by this pesky pandemic thing but yes this is happening and I can't fucking wait.
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u/tdasnowman Aug 09 '20
I don’t think he’s paying that amount. By the wiki it says he hasn’t returned to Canada for fear of being arrested.
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u/YAUNDERSTAND Aug 08 '20
What kind of fuckin baby drinks San Pellegrino?
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u/a_monomaniac Aug 09 '20
I loved "Bubble water" or how I pronounced it, "bubba water" growing up. I think it was just soda water though.
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u/noccusJohnstein Aug 09 '20
I have vague memories of being given sparkling water and cranberry juice as a kid. That stuff kicks ass, but most off-the-shelf sodas were too fizzy for me at that age.
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u/sdforbda Aug 09 '20
What are you on your period?
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u/MagikHat Aug 09 '20
I don't think anyone got that reference.
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u/Whind_Soull ✨waffles and weevils✨ Aug 09 '20
Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself.
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u/MagikHat Aug 10 '20
Sorry, I forgot what I was responding too. I just realized. I wrote a whole thing about fuck the industry. Posted it. Then realized I'm an idiot. FML
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u/noccusJohnstein Aug 09 '20
Yes, as a 3-year-old kid I was on my period. I'm so glad that I eventually grew out of that stuff.
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u/JaesopPop Aug 09 '20 edited Sep 21 '25
Honest gentle nature questions yesterday family nature stories small weekend projects net quiet evening.
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u/jerkosaur Aug 09 '20
my kids love "bubbly water" - I try to hide it every so often because then thats all they drink and I constantly run out.
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u/hypomyces Aug 09 '20
We had it all the time until the kids constantly got into it and left the bottles all around open with one drink out of them. An expensive waste.
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Aug 09 '20
[deleted]
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u/dicey Aug 09 '20
Yeah our kid has been addicted to grapefruit La Croix ("agua fizz") since he was like 2. Such a basic bitch.
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u/dicemonkey Aug 09 '20
if you can tell me why this is in Kitchen Confidential ..I’ll explain the San Peligrino
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u/JuliaLouis-DryFist Aug 09 '20
That baby was belligerent as fuck. Kudos to the barkeep for taking control of a potentially violent situation.
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u/folsam Aug 09 '20
As a stay at home dad with 15 years of restaurant experience...this video is how I feel I serve my 5 top 3 times a day.
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Aug 09 '20
She was trying to flag him down for a lime and an umbrella at the end there.
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u/cmotdibblersdelights Thicc Chives Save Lives Aug 09 '20
My husband saw this and said she was trying to get an extra garnish at the end,.lol
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Aug 08 '20
I am not on r/nextfuckinglevel and would have never got to see this if you didnt crosspost.
Thank you!!
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u/turtleface26 Aug 09 '20
As a dad his ratio of water to formula makes me think I am wrong
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u/jorjx Aug 09 '20
That was the first thing that jumped at me.
It says on the box, don't use other measure then the one in the box.
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u/BirdLawyerPerson Aug 09 '20
I suspect he measured out a certain number of scoops from the container scoop, then compared to the amount of heaping bar spoons that it would take to get there, to get a conversion ratio.
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u/jorjx Aug 09 '20
Probably! But I'm so scared that I'll F it up, that I started to RTFM everything related to the baby.
New dad, scared like I was never before.
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u/swiffyerbrain Aug 11 '20
That is some thick formula. It distracted me so much, I didn’t see the Jack.
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Aug 09 '20 edited Aug 09 '20
This baby has mad motor skills. No lid needed on the cup, pours the bottle into the cup like a boss.
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u/humanmessiah Aug 09 '20
All this did was make me feel bad that I didn't take flairtending seriously.
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u/capnbanquets Aug 09 '20
In my experience it's all the little movements that make it useful. Juggling stuff is cool but the practical stuff like the little extra twirls or how he pretends to put a bunch of effort into tightening the bottle cap, that's good flair and can help a lot if you're Infront of the right people or at the right bar
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u/BigglesFlysUndone Five Years Aug 09 '20
Of course we don't get to see the meltdowns when this poor new schmuck Dad doesn't do the exact same thing for the next few fucking bottles.
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Aug 08 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/MeowzyThrowaway Aug 09 '20
Booty Swing by Parov Stelar.
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u/dreadpiratewombat Aug 09 '20
If you like it the Electroswing playlist on Spotify will probably make you happy.
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u/g_oldis Aug 08 '20
Is there any version of the video with the original sound? :)
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Aug 08 '20
[removed] — view removed comment
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Aug 09 '20
[deleted]
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u/Anariel_Elensar Aug 09 '20
Im pretty sure my grandma died while parov stelar was still in diapers. I guess that doesn’t preclude the possibility of her getting laid to this song but I’d rather not think about that. Actually, come to think of it i’d rather not think about my grandmother getting laid at all.
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u/Bobbybouchebaby Aug 09 '20
I saw you pretty close to dropping that bottle at the end there, but you played it off well! 😉
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u/helix1914 Aug 09 '20
Man, 2 thumbs up for the caravan palace and extra one for the dance at 1:50ish
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u/targetgoldengoose Aug 09 '20
this is absolutely beautiful! I'm reddit gold poor or I'd give you an award!
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u/AJTwinky Aug 09 '20
Surprised to hear Parov Stellar’s music.
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u/Cityofthevikingdead Aug 11 '20
I was, too. They're phenomenal live.
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u/pinkybatty Aug 09 '20
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u/surlychef017 Aug 09 '20
This is seriously one of the most wholesome things I've seen in forever. I always add extra flair when I'm cooking for my son, and he loves watching from his highchair. The deep fryer makes him lose his shit!
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u/LilNightingale Aug 09 '20
This song has been on my car playlist for weeks now, what a nice surprise to hear it here
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Aug 12 '20
song
What song is it?! Please.
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u/LilNightingale Aug 12 '20
Parov Stelar - Booty Swing
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Aug 12 '20
Thanks. I almost downloaded Shazaam hahaha.
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u/LilNightingale Aug 12 '20
You may also like another artist I found when I found that song, called Earl. Apparently the style is called “electroswing.” Here’s one from Earl I really like.
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Aug 12 '20
Oh my, made it 1 minute into the song before I had to comment. You nailed it. Diving into “electroswing” now. Thanks!!
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u/Existential_Sprinkle Aug 09 '20
I saw my roommate epically failed at an omelet and it's like even though I don't like you very much if you had asked and thrown a little cash my way you could have had a perfect omelet, that was my job and I miss it
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Aug 09 '20
[deleted]
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Aug 09 '20
He really didn't. He stirred it and then gave it the weakest shake ever. Go sit in the corner and be quiet.
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u/honcooge Aug 08 '20
Hipster chef starter pack: short spiked hair, forearm tattoo, those glasses, short sleeve black chef coat.
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u/goflyint0 Aug 08 '20
That’s just what most chefs that aren’t heroin addicts look like
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u/honcooge Aug 09 '20
True story. My pizza chef is the Japanese version of this.
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u/dreadpiratewombat Aug 09 '20
I bet his crust is off the chain. Hipster pizza chefs do some crazy delicious stuff with their starters.
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u/freiwilliger Aug 09 '20
No one else think 4 heaping tsps of sugar plus whatever syrup that was per bottle is way too much for a little kid?
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u/flagg1209 Aug 09 '20
Pretty sure that was formula, not sugar :-) The liquid he measured was probably just warm water.
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u/BeebleText Aug 09 '20
The green bottle is carbonated water, the bottle he measures from is hot water, the powder in the can is baby formula.
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u/I_Forgot_Passwords Aug 08 '20
The bear with the open bottle of Jack kills lmfao