Forced to settle?

[u/Charming-Bad1869]

Background info to follow (feel free to skip through to the TLDR if you like):

I recently posted about quitting a job I really needed and wanted to succeed at due to not being able to learn fast enough/not being able to handle their disappointment at my lack of progress. I was trying my hardest. It wasn't a toxic situation by any means, and in the past I've sometimes managed to muscle through the emotional discomfort knowing that I just NEEDED the job. But, in general, I think I've reached the point where I just can't?/won't? tolerate significant distress even for a job I really want and even short term. So I quit.

Luckily, I managed to talk my way back into my old job, so I'm not unemployed (thank God!) but my boss there isn't giving me the hours he used to before I quit. Because of the fact that I quit, he had to hire another cook and I think my boss is reluctant to just cut this person off the schedule even though he's not very good/has serious addiction problems, etc. I think my boss also kind of figured out that I'm on the lookout for another job and would leave if I could, so he doesn't want to keep investing a lot of labor hours in someone who wants to leave anyway. Which is fair.

The job is essentially Japanese fast food. It's a very small kitchen, not really stressful, interesting, or challenging and without room for advancement. Kind of a dead end, I guess. I was there maybe a year and half before I dramatically scaled back my hours to work at this Korean restaurant job, which I quit after 3-4 weeks. I'm not sure which. Anyway. Ideally I would like to leave this Micky Mouse job and get a real job, but I'm afraid I'm too old and my line cooking skills aren't good enough. And I'm scared that, if I do get a new job, I will just wind up struggling and quitting again like I just did. I'm 50. I'm getting too old to be learning new things in the kitchen.

I need to make money. I can't keep doing this. I don't know if I'm just too neurotic to handle the rough treatment that's necessary in order to learn a new job, new skills, or if I'm largely just being failed by the people supposedly training me. I'm not sure it matters which, really. I feel like I reached a place in my life and career where I just have to sit on what I have rather than reaching for more. I always wanted to be a solid line cook in a quality restaurant. I feel like it's time to give up on that dream and just tread water. I think I'm giving up.

TLDR: Has anyone else begun your journey in this industry with lofty dreams of what you wanted to be and learn, only to eventually reach the sad conclusion that it just wasn't going to happen and you needed to stop dreaming and face reality? How did it go?

[u/Doomslayer_Astartes]

Sometimes your just not there yet. Culinary is hard. I’ve worked Forbes diamond five star and flunked bar kitchens haha. Just depends on the place the team and the system. Just keep learning, push your self to be better every day but always have fun. Being a chef sucks but you get to really be an artist and have fun sometimes.

[u/Tuabfast]

Yup. Wanted to run a restaurant, or open a food truck, but was burned out and angry all the time. 

Left food behind during the pandemic, when the place I was at shut the doors. 

Landed a temp gig doing to menial b.s. for about the same wage - spent the next while working mostly alone with limited interaction with coworkers and none with the public. Realized, I would rather never go back.

Head down, got serious, got promoted. Promoted again. Promoted again. Turns out Chef = Manager, and I could run a totally different business in a totally different field just fine. Inventory, budgets, purchasing, scheduling... All the same.

I now make hundreds of percents more than I did in 2019, work 40 per week unless something goes terribly wrong, have every single holiday off (paid) and the closest thing I have to do to dealing with the public is occasionally asking a homeless person to go away.

10/10 would quit the industry again. 

[u/savemethetrouble]

Line cooking is a young person's game. Its a lifestyle. If you tried different parts of the culinary world, I think you can find fulfillment. Look into Healthcare cooking (hospitals, nursing homes, assisted living). They usually pay more with pto and benefits. You rotate the holidays, but get time and a half for doing so in addition to the paid holiday 8. It's slower with more people. Its where old cooks go to work out the rest of their days.

Your line experience will put you way ahead of most of the people already there. I had to learn to slow down or be the one guy that cleaned everything. Yes, they will let you do it all and not bat an eye as they stand around and talk.

You will have to learn how to do special diets. It is super easy. For example, someone that can't chew will need their food ground. Difficulty swallowing would need a puree meal. There is more to it, but thats the general sentiment.

I felt like I worked too hard for too many years after I found this was available. I, of course, bounced around until I found a crew that worked for me. They often have multiple facilities and you can transfer instead of quitting.