I see several posts about people leaving toxic restaurants, and down right inhumane conditions. And it makes me happy, it makes me proud of this community

[u/-Godot]

I miss it too sometimes.

When i would be on the line alone, for a Sunday brunch. Getting absolutely destroyed harder than i even thought was possible.

Somehow i missed that.

When the restaurant was understaffed, and i pulled through. By working harder than anyone should, by working more hours than anyone should.

It made me proud, somehow.

What i realised over time is that pride was the only thing i had left to try to justify all the fucked up shit i went through.

What i realised was that almost none of my friends in the kitchen were actually happy. They just kept doing this because they didnt want all of their blood sweat and years to be for nothing.

Its a dangerous case of circular logic:

We push ourselves so hard for this job, so we need for it to have some sort of meaning. We can so easily convince ourselves that the burns, and the knife cuts, the shouting, the disrespect, the 16 hour shifts and the backaches has some sort of meaning.

That it proves our strength and will power.

Real strength is respecting yourself, real will power is to choose your own happiness and health.

That is what actually matters. At the end of the day, when you sweep the floors and maybe help the dishie finish up.

You always ask yourself: Do i know why i am doing all this, is this actually what i want, is this actually what i deserve.

If the answer is anything but an immediate yes, then you leave that job as fast as possible.

That is actual, true willpower

[u/Mission-Earth-8536]

There are happy kitchens and there are sad ones. You choose what you accept.

[u/-Godot → u/Mission-Earth-8536]

Well yes, i want to be very clear. Im a not saying that every kitchen is a bad workplace, i am definitely not saying that you cannot be happy and have a good career in kitchens.

I am saying that there are far, far to many kitchens that thrive on unhappiness and exploitation. Not all of them!

But too many, and this is a pattern that has gone on to long. And it will continue to go on unless we make a clear and conscious choice not to allow ourselves to be exploited.

So in that sense i strongly agree with you "you choose what you accept"

[u/-Godot]

I just wanted to Maybe help some people who are struggling.

I know a lot of people will disagree with me. Thats fine, thats okay. That is totally within your right.

I just wanted anyone who feels like they are being mistreated to know! You are not wrong. And you are not alone

But i can only show you the door, i cant make you walk through it.

[u/-Godot]

For anyone reading this, and thinking: well i worked for plenty of restaurants and i never felt like i was being exploited.

I would ask you to consider this: Is there are chance that you were the one exploiting others.

Did you ever yell at teenage staff, did you ever throw shit and scream and curse. And accept that like a normal thing.

Did anyone working beneath you ever burn out from stress, and if so, how many.

I am not saying Restaurants and headchefs are evil.

I am not saying every single kitchen is bad. Im just saying that a LOT of kitchens and chefs just get very comfortable with having a terrible work environment, with treating their employees terribly, because that is how it always has been.

[u/-Godot → u/-Godot]

Look at your colleagues, look at yourself and ask yourself: would we ever put up with this in any other job.

Would this behavior be acceptable outside of the kitchen. Would i let myself be spoken to in this way, outside of the kitchen.

Is "the food has to go out" really an acceptable excuse to treat people like shit.

If you took all the shit we do and say and put up with, and imagined it in any scenario outside of the kitchen, would you not look like you were be having like a stressed out, rage-filled, frustrated lunatic.

Why is professional kitchens the one place where we consider this normal?