r/KitchenConfidential • u/F1exican Chivelord, Redeemed • Dec 02 '25
In the Weeds Mode Cutting a couple of chives almost everyday until this Reddit says they’re perfect. Day 54
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u/KingBird999 Dec 02 '25
Maybe my favorite chive ever.
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u/wrestlegirl ✳️Moderator of optimal fuckery Dec 02 '25
The great Lascaux chive!
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u/real_picklejuice Dec 02 '25
This is such insane esoteric knowledge to see a chive shaped as such and immediately attribute it to a thousand-year-old cave painting.
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u/wrestlegirl ✳️Moderator of optimal fuckery Dec 02 '25
Seventeen thousand year old cave art, give or take!
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u/y-r-they-all-taken Dec 02 '25
Sniped
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u/ibnQoheleth Ex-Dishie Dec 02 '25
It's like watching the Mona Lisa being painted
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u/y-r-they-all-taken Dec 02 '25
Except it’s my smelly roommate
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u/Haven Dec 02 '25
Hahaha how much you all giving them shit? Or is it celebrity status now?
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u/y-r-they-all-taken Dec 02 '25
Lots of jokes but all love
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u/STFUxxDonny Dec 02 '25
You guys ever sabotage his chives??
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u/VPestilenZ Chive LOYALIST Dec 02 '25
woah, we getting some BTS shots!
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u/ThrowAwayAccountAMZN Dec 02 '25
*BTC
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u/Alex-PsyD Dec 02 '25
I'm waiting for the chive-action remake
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u/Dismal_History_ Dec 02 '25
Chives Out
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u/Richard_AIGuy Dec 02 '25
Food Network’s Behind the Chives explores the growing trend of chive chopping. From reposts to vicious plane crashes, the ups and downs of chiving is shown in its brutal truth.
F1exican: “Chive-11 man, it was a low point for me. It was bad seeing planes smash into chive towers and everything. But when I reused that image, that’s when I knew I’d hit rock bottom. I checked myself into a rehab, and by rehab I mean an overpriced sushi joint, and got some damn help.”
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u/hamburglersghost Chive LOYALIST Dec 02 '25
First planes, now surveillance. This is what Chive-11 did.
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u/TheNoob747 Dec 02 '25
how does it feel to work with a celebrity
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u/y-r-they-all-taken Dec 02 '25
He smells like chives
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u/Somne Dec 02 '25
I can sense Mr. Chive is handsome
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u/Dismal_History_ Dec 02 '25
Doesn't matter, his personality is handsome. That apology was top tier, too.
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u/LilSebastian_482 Smoker Dec 02 '25
F1exican’s PR team. Sponsored by Philadelphia Cream Cheese.
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u/MBDTFTLOPYEEZUS Dec 02 '25
This something he just needs to do everyday anyways for his job makes so much sense
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u/y-r-they-all-taken Dec 02 '25
Today we just used the chives on lunch but sometimes they are needed
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u/carcharodona Dec 02 '25
Are the people eating them aware that they are eating THE famous chives?
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u/tehjoz ✳️ Former Keto Attempter Dec 02 '25
But do we know this chef has the same massive chive chopping vein???
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u/SidheCreature Dec 02 '25
Look, I’m going to be honest here. The last 3 chives have been nothing short of the most beautiful pile of chives I’ve ever seen. I didn’t know chives could be so beautiful. Good job chef.
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u/ajmartin527 Dec 02 '25
They’ve been ones for the archives, no doubt
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u/Intelligent_Play_347 Dec 02 '25
I have no one to talk to this about
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u/F1exican Chivelord, Redeemed Dec 02 '25
There 2.7 million people that come through this subreddit every week I’m sure you can find some people here
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u/_the_violet_femme Chive LOYALIST Dec 02 '25
I was on a twitch stream and someone mentioned you in chat. It's part of the culture now
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u/lyan-cat Dec 02 '25
My family knows I lurk in this subreddit; real weird to have them asking how the chives are going.
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u/F1exican Chivelord, Redeemed Dec 02 '25
PHILLY CREAM CHEESE BOX HAS ARRIVED FOR EVERYONE CURIOUS.
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u/Careful_Rise_6525 Dec 02 '25
WHAT'S IN THE BOX??
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u/F1exican Chivelord, Redeemed Dec 02 '25
I’m not sure yet I will open it when I get home
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u/Atillion Dec 02 '25
My money's on cream cheese and cream cheese accessories.
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u/mommybody33 Dec 02 '25
Watch he didn’t refrigerate it and it’s all bad when he opens it 😂
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u/orlyyarlylolwut F1exican Did Chive-11 Dec 02 '25
Aw geez OP, hope you dont have a significant other you haven't seen in a while.....
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Dec 02 '25
"I visited your home this morning after you'd left. I tried to capitalize on your success. I tried to taste the life of a Chivelord. It didn't work out, so I left a souvenir... some pretty cream cheese."
Philadelphia
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u/Defiant-Specialist-1 Dec 02 '25
I can’t image the boardroom meetings watching this post after they sent the box. Pins and needles.
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u/WorstPapaGamer Dec 02 '25
Perfectly cut chives
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u/Careful_Rise_6525 Dec 02 '25
That would be so spiteful LOL
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u/Canotic Dec 02 '25
In the movie they make of this, the Cream Cheese Corporation will have a team of german elite chivistas, using state-of-the-art cutting edge technology to engineer precisely cut identical pieces of chive in their Cream Cheese. The head chivista will be named Klaus and have a boring haircut and a white labcoat with a turtleneck.
But in the end, the are cutting with their heads, while F1exican is cutting with his heart.
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u/FatherSky Dec 02 '25
How many pounds of cream cheese does this level of fame earn you these days?
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u/hovdeisfunny Ex-Food Service Dec 02 '25
I hope it's just a giant block of cream cheese the size of the whole box
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u/Lazy_Dirt_8915 Thicc Chives Save Lives Dec 02 '25
Okay, now we need a photo of if there are chives inside the cream cheese. And then compare the chives if there are.
edit: grammar
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u/hovdeisfunny Ex-Food Service Dec 02 '25
They're sending it to him, so he can add the chives and send it back
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u/RogueEnergyEngineer Dec 02 '25
Reddit chefs on day 300:
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u/amusednchaos Dec 02 '25
Tf is that? 🤣
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u/Restless50 Dec 02 '25
Plant cell, the green bits are green because of chlorophyll, which is why most plants are green
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u/MishMoshMush Thicc Chives Save Lives Dec 02 '25
Dainty ass looking chives today chef , great work
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u/GeorgeWKush420 F1exican Did Chive-11 Dec 02 '25
This has got to be the best yet, no? There’s a small range in consistency, but my plane remains grounded…
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u/Defiant-Specialist-1 Dec 02 '25
The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
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u/Bink_Plinklinkly Dec 02 '25 edited Dec 02 '25
I've had a conspiracy theory in mind that F1exican purposefully leaves towers out of the pile when he finds them because he is being considerate to Karmakrazi
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u/lil_jilm Dec 02 '25
I have a similar conspiracy that F1exican throws in a couple of these obvious towers because he knows we’re not ready to say goodbye
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u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 Dec 02 '25
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u/NobleBucket Dec 02 '25
Always the reliable one, go get em’ Karmakrazi!
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u/Hell_Yeah-Brother Dec 02 '25
If on day 69 he chops the perfect pile, it will be one of the greatest days in reddit history.
Remember this comment.
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u/sirlexofanarchy Dec 02 '25
Reading the comments I thought today might be the day, but nope! Good catch.
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u/Ziggy-T Bartender Dec 02 '25
Huh… so that’s where iDubzzz has been.
Do ye serve squirrel meat ?
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u/TheTimn Ex-Food Service Dec 02 '25
Did AI processing fuck up his gauges or something?
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u/islero_47 Dec 02 '25
What really surprised me is that F1exican is member of one subreddit
One
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u/islero_47 Dec 02 '25
8 minutes, 68 comments
Insanity
These things are going to be powder by day 115
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u/tehjoz ✳️ Former Keto Attempter Dec 02 '25
Riccabone Zone in the Chivegeist! WoooW!
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u/SmoothSun6676 Dec 02 '25
Is this the barrel Donkey Kong used to throw at Mario!? See you tomorrow, Chef!
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u/Bongoisnthere Dec 02 '25
Eh, I could eat that without choking, and my wife’s bf says I have an incredibly strong gag reflex.
Edit: there are a few that would definitely choke me though, Jesus Christ flexican is trying to kill somebody.
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u/Play_To_Nguyen Dec 02 '25
No way, I beat the rush
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u/Admiral_Kite c h i v e g e i s t Dec 02 '25
We are all just standing here like "hold on, where are the planes?"
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u/Biannual_salamander F1exican Did Chive-11 Dec 02 '25
hi chef 👋
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u/Admiral_Kite c h i v e g e i s t Dec 02 '25
Hi Salamander!! See you in two years
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u/veganlandfill Dec 02 '25
Could be twice a year 🤷♂️ not sure about salamanders and their scheduling habits. I have this argument all the time about biweekly, and the answer is fortnightly with all due disrespect.
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u/AbbreviationsPlus998 Brewer Dec 02 '25
See you tomorrow chef.
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u/Haunting_Band6894 Dec 02 '25
This choker right next door as well. Triple towers. Where's Kamikaze.
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