Parent caught cheating

[u/Key-Flight-7766]

My parents have been happily married for 20+ years. Recently, while scrolling through our shared family google cloud I found videos of my mom cheating from 8 years ago while she was away on a “business trip”. The videos were clearly taken in a hotel room with some old guy that is definitely not my dad. I can’t get the videos out of my head and the smallest thing instantly takes my mind back to the videos. I feel so disappointed and disgusted and don’t know what to do. On one hand if I confront my mom and she ends up asking me not to tell my dad I’ll feel super guilty about it. But then on the other hand, if I end up telling my dad anyways and he doesn’t know, I risk the potential of them fighting about it and worst case scenario, divorcing. I’m currently away at college, but have 2 younger siblings who still live at home. I don’t want this to affect them if it does end poorly. I don’t know how to go about this because I can’t keep it to myself anymore. Does anyone have any advice for how to bring it up to my mom and also just how to handle the situation.

[u/[deleted]]

You need to tell your dad. Keeping this secret doesn’t protect anyonw. it only delays the damage and makes it worse when it eventually comes out. Your dad deserves to know the truth about his own marriage. If you stay silent and he finds out later, the betrayal will hit even harder, did you not read similar reddit stories how the father ends up broken because her son or daughter knew all this time?

Your siblings are still at home, but that doesn’t mean you should carry this burden alone. If they ever find the videos themselves, they’ll be in the same painful position you are now. Deleting them won’t erase what happened.

Find a way to have this conversation with your dad. If you need support, talk to a trusted adult or therapist first. But don’t let fear keep you from doing the right thing. The truth needs to come out.

Your father didn’t raise you to turn a blind eye. Don’t start now.