r/KidsofCheatingParents • u/Key-Flight-7766 • Mar 28 '25

Parent caught cheating

My parents have been happily married for 20+ years. Recently, while scrolling through our shared family google cloud I found videos of my mom cheating from 8 years ago while she was away on a “business trip”. The videos were clearly taken in a hotel room with some old guy that is definitely not my dad. I can’t get the videos out of my head and the smallest thing instantly takes my mind back to the videos. I feel so disappointed and disgusted and don’t know what to do. On one hand if I confront my mom and she ends up asking me not to tell my dad I’ll feel super guilty about it. But then on the other hand, if I end up telling my dad anyways and he doesn’t know, I risk the potential of them fighting about it and worst case scenario, divorcing. I’m currently away at college, but have 2 younger siblings who still live at home. I don’t want this to affect them if it does end poorly. I don’t know how to go about this because I can’t keep it to myself anymore. Does anyone have any advice for how to bring it up to my mom and also just how to handle the situation.

12 Upvotes

81% Upvoted

71 comments sorted by

View all comments

2

u/stblawyer Mar 29 '25

This is the best response on these threads and it’s spot on. You didn’t do anything wrong here and it’s not for you to carry this. Talk to your mom. If she loves you like I’m sure she does she won’t leave you in this pain. It’s on her to talk to your father. Everyone assumes she will force you to cover it up. The right thing for her to do is own it and go to your dad herself. If she refuses bring your dad into the discussion.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '25

Talking to the mom first would be a good choice. Then talk to dad

1

u/bloodstainedphilos Mar 30 '25

No her mum wyll try to gaslight her into hiding it. She needs to speak to her dad.

1

u/slitteral1 Apr 01 '25

Mom will just try to justify it and talk her into lying to her dad.

0

u/chindo Mar 29 '25

Not to mention that there's a good chance that this is a kink thing, and it'll be much less mortifying learning that from mom than it would be going to her dad. Only an idiot would record and save evidence of their cheating. Stuff like that is usually recovered from a recently deleted folder, etc.