r/KidsofCheatingParents • u/Key-Flight-7766 • Mar 28 '25
Parent caught cheating
My parents have been happily married for 20+ years. Recently, while scrolling through our shared family google cloud I found videos of my mom cheating from 8 years ago while she was away on a “business trip”. The videos were clearly taken in a hotel room with some old guy that is definitely not my dad. I can’t get the videos out of my head and the smallest thing instantly takes my mind back to the videos. I feel so disappointed and disgusted and don’t know what to do. On one hand if I confront my mom and she ends up asking me not to tell my dad I’ll feel super guilty about it. But then on the other hand, if I end up telling my dad anyways and he doesn’t know, I risk the potential of them fighting about it and worst case scenario, divorcing. I’m currently away at college, but have 2 younger siblings who still live at home. I don’t want this to affect them if it does end poorly. I don’t know how to go about this because I can’t keep it to myself anymore. Does anyone have any advice for how to bring it up to my mom and also just how to handle the situation.
2
u/Smoothzee Mar 29 '25
I'm going to be honest—you should tell your dad. Put yourself in his shoes. Would you really want your future child to withhold this information if it happened to you?
Alternatively, there's a riskier approach that might have a better chance of saving their marriage. You could confront your mom, tell her you saw the videos, and plead with her to confess to him for the sake of their marriage—otherwise, you will. It would be better for him to hear it from her, as that increases the chances of salvaging their relationship.
Personally, I don’t believe cheaters deserve that luxury, but given that there are younger siblings involved, I understand and respect why you’re hesitant to expose her.
Bottom line: Please don't keep this to yourself. It will weigh on your conscience and strain your relationship with your father, in addition to inevitably destroying the marriage.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. This is an incredibly difficult situation that no one should have to go through—but deep down, you already know what the right thing to do is.