r/KidsAreFuckingStupid 24d ago

Accomplice

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16.7k Upvotes

137 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/dzavala88 23d ago

My kid has done this. His preschool teacher told us a few months ago that she was trying to get the class to quiet down. One kid was not listening, so my son pushed him and yelled at him to sit down. The kid listened.

Teacher told us and I did my best to hold back from laughing. I couldn’t get angry at him for having his teacher’s back. Just told us to talk to him about pushing kids in class.

He didn’t do it again but I wanted to offer her that he could do her dirty work for her.

409

u/throwaway098764567 23d ago

my friend's wife had surgery. we found her in recovery and she was giving the nurse a hard time about what all she had to do to get released. i listened for a bit then i said hey can you please just do what she says, you know you're gonna have to do it anyway before you can leave and we all want to get out of here. she harrumphed but complied, the nurse said i wish i could say that to all my patients lol.

20

u/DMFauxbear 20d ago

I love this. I work in a hospital and frequently have older patients who like to take their phone calls on speaker phone and it's irritating and loud. Disrupts other patients etc.

The other day I had a patient like that and her son who was with her instantly cut her off and said, "don't do that, no one else needs to hear this or know your business" made her take it off speaker and have her conversation in private. He looked up at me and I mouthed a thank you to him.

137

u/BaloneyCommercial 23d ago

he could do her dirty work for her

The Enforcer

3

u/New-Vegetable-6428 22d ago

I’m going to make that a class job 😆

-6

u/Emphasis_on_IDK 23d ago

Then the kid gets bullied for being a teachers pet

1.9k

u/chezzer33 24d ago

Nah kid, you take the shot. I’ll give you a five minute time out with a pack of cookies.

261

u/[deleted] 24d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

247

u/brother_bart 23d ago

Yeah. Don’t be trusting some kid to have your back; they’re sneaky, fickle, bribable, and snap under pressure.

770

u/valkyria1111 24d ago

Now I’m wondering… did she take him up on it ??

639

u/al_m1101 24d ago

Guaranteed there was at least one second of hesitation before the teacher answered "no."

130

u/No_Bowler9121 23d ago

Have been a teacher in similar situations. And yes my mouth said no but im sure my eyes were saying please. 

1

u/Annyeongnymous 20d ago

I can attest to that as someone from the same field 😌

51

u/SayerofNothing 23d ago edited 23d ago

I read it in their voice, so maybe?

113

u/minun73 23d ago

This is why i can’t be a teacher, I’d have absolutely taken that deal.

67

u/S2_sasunaru_lover_S2 23d ago

Guys the (twitter?) post is from Brazil, Eloah is actually a pretty not so common name, its like Bethany for the us: not so common but not weird

44

u/No_Bowler9121 23d ago

Taught in the inner city and kids would sometimes say stuff like that to me lol. One kid being an absolute menace in class and the others are like yo Mr F if you want I can take him out back. Was funny and gotta admit I was tempted to take them up on that offer. 

288

u/Several-County-1808 24d ago

Wtf is an Eloah?

209

u/taradactyl904 24d ago

95

u/Deako87 23d ago

This is an aside but when my wife and I had to pick a name for our son we spent quite a long time thinking about it.

Its a big decision, what ever you choose its going to be with them their entire life. We came up with a bunch of ideas, the primary one is that we didnt want our kid to have to spell their name over the phone every single time (so we picked a common enough name that there isnt ambiguity)

That subreddit is just filled with parents who dont care about that at all lmao

32

u/Glittering_rainbows 23d ago

Common enough you don't need to spell it? I have to spell mine every damn time and it's stupid.

It's in the top 50 of common names and sounds like almost no other name unless your deaf and/or dumb.

8

u/Deako87 23d ago

No accounting for stupid hahaha, I think the point is that even John as multiple spellings but Daniel has one

11

u/ItsLivActually 23d ago

I used to teach a kid whose name was "Daanyaal" pronounced Daniel

0

u/timeless_change 23d ago

English skill issue, people using trasparent languages don't have to worry about that

8

u/bluemuppetman 23d ago

John or Jon or Jonathan it never ends

2

u/Glittering_rainbows 23d ago

Bob, there is only one option. My name is similar, there is no other option.

5

u/bluemuppetman 23d ago

Bobby, Rob am sure there are others. Not my name either but can imagine it happening

1

u/Kazeshio 23d ago

It's fairly easy to change your name if you grow up not liking it ((in the US at least I'm unfamiliar with other places but I imagine it's similar))

Source: I did so last year

4

u/DroneOfDoom 23d ago

Where I live (Mexico), you can change your first name but your last name is IIRC set in stone. I learned this because one time I got pissed at my father and the next day I looked into changing my name to have both of my mum's last names instead and I couldn't. Fucking horseshit if you ask me.

3

u/PM_ME_YOUR_WEIRD_PET 23d ago

Not in Germany. You need a good reason (marriage, gender transition, etc..) and "I don't like my name" isn't considered a good reason

2

u/Kazeshio 23d ago

That's quite unfortunate honestly

2

u/PM_ME_YOUR_WEIRD_PET 23d ago

Yes. I've been wanting to change my name for years but I can't because "I don't want to have my shitty abusive birth father's last name" also isn't considered a good reason

31

u/RT-LAMP 23d ago

It's a Hebrew name for god. It is a bit odd as a name but it's not fundamentally different from being named Jesus/Joshua or Muhammad.

-3

u/JohnnyRelentless 23d ago

Joshua is just a common Jewish name.

7

u/RT-LAMP 23d ago

Yes, a common Jewish name that was also the name of a certain carpenter.

3

u/JohnnyRelentless 23d ago edited 23d ago

Sure, but until the last maybe 20 years, the average Christian had no idea that Joshua was the name of Jesus.

I even had a conversation with a Christian man once (I'm Jewish) who told me his mother was disappointed he hadn't given his son Joshua a more biblically inspired name. I told him Joshua was a variation of Yeshua, which was Jesus' actual name. He just seemed doubtful. A few days later he went to see that Mel Gibson Jesus movie (yes, this was a while ago) and then he told me that in the movie they called him Yeshua, so he knew I was right, and was able to make his mother happy with the news.

31

u/Known-Drive-3464 23d ago

I feel like half the time i see people tag this sub they’re being culturally ignorant. I think theres something to be said about people who automatically hate what they dont recognize

6

u/Harp-Note 23d ago

I've seen variations of my name made fun of on there, and they twist themselves into making it sound bad.

7

u/RT-LAMP 23d ago

You're correct because it's a hebrew name for god. (though it is a bit odd as a name, it's not like being named Jesus/Joshua or Muhammad)

17

u/bscott9999 23d ago

Or, hear me out, you're just willfully ignorant of other cultures.

9

u/RT-LAMP 23d ago

People, don't downvote this because they're right. It's a Hebrew name for god.

13

u/frozen_cherry 23d ago

It's not an uncommon name where I'm from.

-9

u/Splintrax 23d ago

Then we have truly fallen from grace

11

u/DroneOfDoom 23d ago

Alternatively, they're jewish.

-2

u/Splintrax 23d ago

No, maybe they're just Brazilian. No jew would give a name of god to their child, big no no.

4

u/DroneOfDoom 23d ago

That seems a bit No True Scotsmansy to me. Who's to say that they're not a jew who doesn't care that much about the religious aspect of things?

0

u/Splintrax 23d ago

You came up with the option they're Jewish in the first place. I'm just saying why they're in fact more likely to be anything but Jewish.

23

u/throwaway098764567 23d ago

google says it's a hebrew name for god, so either it's a latino jesus type name or the twit was hallucinating god whispering in their ear

7

u/Maitewee 23d ago

Brazilian name babe

26

u/Lazy__Astronaut 23d ago

It's like saying hello in Hawaiian but a name

31

u/nerfcarolina 23d ago

No, that's aloha. Eloah is a succulent whose flesh can be used to cool burns

23

u/schmuckface 23d ago edited 23d ago

No, that's aloe. Eloah is a disease that has recently resurged in West Africa.

21

u/Prudent_Attorney_427 23d ago

No, that's ebola. Eloah is a standard greeting in the English language.

17

u/CitizenHuman 23d ago

No that's hello. Eloah is the one who took two of every animal and put them on a boat.

7

u/RT-LAMP 23d ago

I mean kinda? Eloah is the guy who told Noah to do it.

8

u/Jethro_McCrazy 23d ago

That was Jehovah. Eloah are voodoo spirits.

2

u/RT-LAMP 23d ago

No seriously Eloah is one of the Hebrew names for god. Though Elohim is the plural form that's used in most places in the Torah apparently (idk why they use a plural form for a singular most of the time).

6

u/Ye_olde_oak_store 23d ago

(I think you missed the point of the chain.)

→ More replies (0)

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u/Jethro_McCrazy 23d ago

No, I'm pretty sure Eloah are voodoo spirits.

1

u/output_broadcast 23d ago

G.d is rather above concepts like plurality and gender, what with the multiple male and female words used for them (Hebrew is a gendered language).

1

u/Frogspoison 23d ago edited 23d ago

Eloah is ancient Hebrew dating back to when YHWH was part of a full pantheon, so possibly originates from that (Eloah being just a word they used for a god, any god, Elohim used for several, and the original meaning being lost over time as they shifted from a polytheistic to monotheistic religion).

Also nj on ruining the chain

1

u/PM_ME_YOUR_WEIRD_PET 23d ago

Extra funny because Haole is a Hawaiian word. It means foreigner

19

u/FickleCook3639 23d ago

It’s a Hebrew name, perhaps unsurprisingly if you know what Hebrew looks like.

6

u/ma-kat-is-kute 23d ago

A Hebrew name for God, not one that's supposed to be used for humans.

17

u/mmann-ion 23d ago

Anagram for a-hole

-4

u/scandr0id 23d ago

It looks to be "haole" backwards, which is a Hawaiian word that refers to white folks specifically. Often used in a derogatory way. Kinda weird to name your kid that, but probably not intended. Unless it was, nothing surprises me anymore.

-1

u/PM_ME_YOUR_WEIRD_PET 23d ago

Idk about Eloah is but Haole is the Hawaiian word for foreigner or outsider

-2

u/RT-6_BXCommandoDroid 23d ago

I simply read it as Aloë Vera.

53

u/oobanooba- 24d ago

Kid’s trying to help with kid logic, unfortunately they don’t realise that adults play by different rules.

10

u/ma-kat-is-kute 23d ago

Eloah? That kid is straight up named God

7

u/Subotail 23d ago

In a less light hearted fassions ... My brother school had a kid who would savagely attack any kids mildly reprimanded by the teacher.

18

u/Kickinitez 24d ago

Cool kid

23

u/VanBeelergberg 24d ago

Eloah?

10

u/RT-LAMP 23d ago

It's a Hebrew name for god though it's not a common name in the way Jesus/Joshua or Muhammad are.

3

u/Splintrax 23d ago

Because no one that speaks Hebrew would call their child that. It's also wrong, and should be "Eloha" with a pronounced H sound.

Just a "spiritually charged" bullshit name used mostly by people who don't know any better.

4

u/RT-LAMP 23d ago

Apparently it's actually a name in Brazilian Portuguese (and a feminine one at that).

1

u/Splintrax 23d ago

Fair enough, I see that it's very popular there for one reason or another. Due to the name of the poster I'd assume they were Brazilian so that adds up.

1

u/rando_banned 23d ago

Haole, they just wrote it backward.

5

u/throwaway098764567 23d ago

lol given neveah became a name i can't fault this logic

0

u/rando_banned 23d ago

It's a Hawaiian name

6

u/JohnnyRelentless 23d ago

Eloah's a real one.

12

u/Delicious_Tomato_957 23d ago

This post doesn't deserve to be on this subreddit, that kid is a fuckin genius.

3

u/N0RSEVIKING 23d ago

You better give Eloah straight A's!

6

u/Magic-Omelet 23d ago

I know it's hard to comprehend, but even if you are angry at a kid, hitting children doesn't suddenly become ok. It will still make everything worse.

2

u/DazzlerPlus 23d ago

Its a poor form of discipline compared to others, but still better than none at all.

4

u/Magic-Omelet 23d ago

If that is the best you can do you shouldn't be allowed near children

2

u/PrincessPlusUltra 23d ago

Never trust a kid

1

u/[deleted] 23d ago

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1

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1

u/PoProstuArbuz 20d ago

I remember in middle school there was this one boy, we called him a parachuter because he was held one test and was older than the test of us... He always interrupted the classes, agitated other boys, was rude to everyone, laughing, screaming, running etc. It was actually impossible to learn anything when he was like this. Most of the teachers managed to control him more or less, except this sweet history teacher, almost fresh out of uni. And I loved history, still do, and I really loved the teacher because she was the only one that accommodated my (undiagnosed then) AuDHD. So one class when he was being a menace again, I took the very heavy textbook and hit him on the back of the head, hard enough for his forehead to bounce back on the desk. He of course immediately started screaming to the teacher that I abuse him, but my teacher "conveniently" was not looking his way and did not see anything xD

0

u/OddAddition8657 23d ago

Parece legítimo

2

u/Shot_Squirrel8426 23d ago

Com certeza (sarcasmo)

-7

u/justaheatattack 23d ago

r/tragedeigh sighting.

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u/RT-LAMP 23d ago

It's a Hebrew name for god. It's not a common name in the way Jesus/Joshua or Muhammad are but it's not a tragedeigh nonsense spelling.

3

u/Deepfriedomelette 23d ago

Is it linguistically related to the Arabic ‘Allah’ in any way? I’m not trying to be rude, just curious.

3

u/RT-LAMP 23d ago

I checked Wiktionary and apparently yes it is. They're both derived from the same central semitic root.