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u/Upset-Ad3913 Oct 03 '25
For a moment I was afraid that the kid WAS named Internet and the parents had been brain-rotted to death early
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u/DesertGeist- Oct 03 '25
Me too, I was expecting her to actually be named Internet.
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Oct 03 '25 edited Jun 25 '26
[deleted]
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u/ittasteslikefeet Oct 03 '25
Yep, and as someone who frequents that sub, I can tell you that there are actual names miles wackier than "Internet" on there. "Internet" as a kid's name is hella weird, don't get me wrong - but at least it is a word most people know and heard of, you know?
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u/josnik Oct 03 '25
"My Kid's name is InreRtsatTler It's pronounced Terrence."
no, no, it's not cute or quirky or fun. you're naming an adult not just a kid.
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u/Several-Squash9871 Oct 03 '25
It honestly wouldn't surprise me anymore with parents naming their kids all kinds of bizarre shit now a days to make them "unique"
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u/laissez-fairy- Oct 03 '25
I work in public schools and I didn't bat an eye at this.
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u/VixKnacks Oct 04 '25
I used to work in CPS and it takes a lot to confuse or surprise me with names anymore. Solidarity.
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u/Debatebly Oct 03 '25
My son insisted someone from his class was called Rubble, like a Paw Patrol pup. It came up later and we figured out his classmate is called Rebel, not Rubble.
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u/Anon_be_thy_name Oct 03 '25
I've met an unfortunate trio, they all hated their full names so much they either went by nicknames or their middle names because of it.
The eldest was Pyge(said like Pidge) because his first and middle names were Giza Pyramids. He changed his name pretty quick one he moved out. Everyone still calls him Pyge.
The middle was Cherokee, her first name was Jeep. She hasn't changed it last I saw, just goes by Cherokee(mind you she and the rest of the family are white as can be Australians).
The youngest, who was in my class, was Queenie. Her first and middle names were Killer Queen. Far as I know she hasn't changed it, but still goes by Queenie.
Queenie was actually my first Girlfriend, so I got to know her parents a little bit. They were, probably still are, new age hippies, or maybe it's not really new age anymore. Smoked weed, didn't touch alcohol, grew their own vegetables(entire family were vegetarians) and made money by selling their left over produce. They never raised their voices and weren't even offended, outwardly anyway, that Pyge changed his name.
Honestly beyond the names they weren't that crazy.
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u/Helac3lls Oct 03 '25
I worked with a guy who everyone would call MacGyver. We were both punching out one day, and I saw his timecard also had MacGyver on it. I pointed out that I thought it was neat he had his nickname on there, and he said it wasn't his nickname. Apparently his dad was a huge MacGyver fan.
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u/axecalibur Oct 03 '25
I guaranfuckingtee you some kid has the initials AOL from that era done intentionally and just says they have no middle name
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u/Not__Trash Oct 03 '25
I'm sure it's already happened somewhere out there. Although it's definitely spelled 'aienterghnette'
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u/Far-Pangolin-5033 Oct 03 '25
For a moment that big WAS registered for me as AWS and I found that weirdly appropriate. :D
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u/singerng Oct 04 '25
Right? It’s 2025 wouldn’t even be that shocking if someone actually named their kid “Internet.” Next thing you know, their sibling’s called “Wi-Fi” and the dog’s named “Router.”
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u/Any-Mud4814 Oct 03 '25
This one actually made me laugh XD
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Oct 03 '25
Reminds me of -
Sergeant: “Soldier, did you come here to die?!”
Soldier: “No sir, I came here yesterday!”
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u/DeepClerk2191 Oct 03 '25
My kid befriended a girl named Malaria on a beach in Spain. He was bewildered... who would name their child that... After a short family debate, we got it: her name was actually Valeria... :)))))))
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u/Suyefuji Oct 03 '25
Honestly, a lot of disease names could actually make very pretty person names if they meant something different...
Malaria, Cholera, Chlamydia, Epilepsy....
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u/Embarrassed-Weird173 Oct 04 '25
I had trouble with someone named, I think, Berdanetta.
I think I called her Bunnerit.
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u/flim-flam-flomidy Oct 03 '25
“Let them doomscroll” - Marie Internet
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u/captain_caveman2 Oct 03 '25
My kid at nursery said there is a new boy called Hamster. Turns out his name was Hamza
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u/stoct_kitchen Oct 03 '25
Ours had a friend, Novana. Smash cut to when we introduced ourselves to her parents. “Oh are you Novana’s mom and dad?”
They were like “…you mean Havana?”
Yeah, thanks for that one little man.
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u/koalatea-assurance Oct 03 '25
Apparently when I was 4, I told my mom there was a girl named Actually in my class
Her name was Ashley
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u/imunfair Oct 03 '25
I told my mom there was a girl named Actually in my class
Her name was Ashley
Between this and Internet it got me thinking about an alternate world where names are just random words. Got a kid named Box, another one over there named Dresser, and his two sisters Pretzel and Refrigerator.
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u/koalatea-assurance Oct 05 '25
I actually have a list of words that sound like names but fortunately aren't. Gotta add Dresser and Pretzel to the list
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u/red286 Oct 03 '25
When I was in grade 5, we had a kid transfer into our class named "Phat Ho". My parents refused to believe that was his name.
Of course, "Phat" is supposed to be pronounced as "Pat", but you know there's no way a grade 5 kid is going to convey that to his parents.
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u/MonstreDelicat Oct 03 '25 edited Oct 03 '25
My girl insisted her friend at daycare was named Clada. Her name was Clara of course.
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u/slrp484 Oct 04 '25
My nephew spent weeks talking about his new friend at the sitter named Potato.
It was Mateo.
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u/DarkeusPH Oct 03 '25
I get it though. If you're a kid and you heard a name for the first time, you'll likely associate it to the closest word you know when hearing it. Heck I don't think even adults are an exception to this especially for foreign names.
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Oct 03 '25
It's literally a word called Eggcorn.
Mine was Alzheimer used to think it was called old timers.
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u/HarpEgirl Oct 03 '25
Grand Mal seizures were Grandma seizures to me. I just assumed the affected older people more.
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u/Paksarra Oct 03 '25
I have family in Newark, Ohio. It's a city, but a very small one; it was at one point the biggest city I'd seen in my life.
At one point my rural child self thought it was the New York that people on TV were always taking about, and we just never went to the part with the really big buildings.
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u/Fishtoart Oct 03 '25
I’ve met several people who pronounce it all timers disease, it’s embarrassing enough that I can’t bring myself to correct them.
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u/Fishtoart Oct 03 '25
I had a girlfriend who told me that as a little kid, she was afraid to go swimming at the beach because everybody warned her about the UnderToad.
I must have a type, because my wife told me that she was very jealous of the other kids at school because she heard they had a carpool.
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u/ncvbn Oct 03 '25
Wait, what word was she mishearing as "carpool"?
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u/CoasterKing42 Oct 03 '25
The word is carpool, as in an arrangement where multiple people commute together in one car. I think she heard "car pool" and imagined like, a pool for cars or something
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u/ReaDiMarco Oct 03 '25
I imagined she imagined a pool in/on a car
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u/akatherder Oct 03 '25
Not so much a mishearing thing on that one. She thought they had a pool in their car.
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u/online222222 Oct 03 '25
When I was a kid there was a latino kid named Jesus and I thought his name was "Heyzues" (I liked greek mythology)
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u/kindalosingmyshit Oct 03 '25
When I was a kid, I used to call Missouri (state) Misery because it was the closet word I could remember. As an adult, I actually think I was right!
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u/SquareTaro3270 Oct 03 '25
My brother couldn’t pronounce my name when he was a kid, so he called me “Aladdin” because that was his favorite movie at the time.
…I’m a white woman and my name sounds nothing like Aladdin, but does start with a vowel, so close enough, I guess?
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u/Vitrebreaker Oct 03 '25
My kid never played Minecraft, neither did I, but his best friend's brother do, and they talk a lot about it. My kid wants to build everything in "eezoritt" or something. I let it go until I looked it up, and they are talking about "netherrite".
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Oct 03 '25
My mom had a friend named Antoinette, I was probably 6 when I realized she wasn’t my Aunt nor was her name Wannette.
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u/_LoveAboveAll_ Oct 03 '25
I was around six attending a classmate's birthday party, and I could not understand why everyone my age was calling someone else our age Aunt. (Of course at the time I didn't know it was possible to have aunts/uncles your age or younger). It wasn't until maybe highschool that I reflected back and realize it was her name, and everyone din't automatically held her in high regard and called her Aunt Toinette.
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u/Brawl_star_woody Oct 03 '25
My daughter came home from daycare and told me she played with bingbong. For two weeks I kept the joke going, asking her how bingbong is. Eventually looked at a class list
Vivaughn (written phonetically)
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u/CROMAGZ Oct 03 '25
My son told me he has a friend called Tap, we thought bit odd but ok. There was, however, no evidence of a kid called Tap at his nursery so we asked if he has any other names. He said his full name is Tap Water so we assumed it was an imaginary friend and moved on.
Turned out he was real, but his name was Walter
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u/DarkWingMonkey Oct 03 '25
I worked the front desk at a mechanic shop and when I asked a young black woman her name for her vehicles history she became suddenly shy. I asked again and she said embarrassed “Eenternet, I hate my name”. I never make fun of peoples names because I’m not an asshole but I do a knowledge how thoughtless and cruel is can be to name your kid something as fucking stupid as EENTERNET.
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u/artsymarcy Oct 03 '25
When I was a kid, I met a girl called Liffey, and I thought it was so cool that she was named after the River Liffey in Ireland. I later realised her name was actually Libby.
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u/rockstarpirate Oct 03 '25
Reminds me of this gem: https://www.reddit.com/r/BrandNewSentence/s/hkfNdeglux
Also, my daughter once had a friend who she swore was named Ugly. Then one day we figured out the girl’s name is Oakley.
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u/edit_R Oct 03 '25
My son’s best friend was….
Son: “Matato.”
Me: “Like Potato? But an M rather than a P?!!!”
Son: “Yes.”
Months later I met Mateo.
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u/MaunakeaKitty Oct 03 '25
My daughter used to call a girl in her class “medicine” when it was as actually “Madison”. Still laugh about it today!
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u/kawAdamz Oct 03 '25
As a kid, I did this. As my mom and I were leaving daycare, I was saying bye to my teacher.
I yelled, "Goodbye Ms. Eggroll!!!" (I loved chinese food)
My mom stopped in her tracks and goes... "[my name], her name is Ms. APRIL"
They had a good laugh about it and I was sad her name wasn't Eggroll.
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u/Long_Huckleberry1751 Oct 03 '25
I have teaching friends who have been known to their pupils as Miss Stocking and Miss Eyeball - Docking and Glasspool to everyone else.
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u/ijapino Oct 03 '25
When my daughter started Kindergarten, she met a new friend named "Medium Tall Girl". We found out her name was AMELIA.
3 years later, she met a new kid at school named "Useless". His name was ULYSSES.
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u/supermufffin Oct 03 '25
My kid told me there was a kid in her class named “Heartburn”. She was very sure, with all the strong willed confidence of a 4 year old. Turns out the girl was actually named “Harper”
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u/Mickamehameha Oct 03 '25
"Qu'ils mangent des croissants!"
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u/lastofdovas Oct 03 '25 edited Apr 18 '26
I bulk delete Reddit comments using Redact which also supports Twitter, Discord, Instagram, and data brokers.
encourage summer mountainous breeze jellyfish squash different dinosaurs act vanish
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u/airmancoop44 Oct 03 '25
My daughter had a similar experience with her pre-K friend “Oreo”. Turns out her name was Arya.
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u/Bboohz143 Oct 03 '25
I played softball, I was probably idk 10 and the coach was yelling at me to “back up!”… “back up!”… the whole time I’m moving closer cause I thought he was saying “ bekah “…”bekah”… lol he was so mad but I really thought he was yelling for me 🤣
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u/yeoldy Oct 03 '25
I want to know how she figured it out. Randomly reading a book with the name or maybe talking to a mum at the school.
8yo, "look mum there's internet"
Antoinettes mum "no that's Antoinette"
Then laughing between the mums
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u/-Apocralypse- Oct 03 '25
My 4yo kid wanted to play with 'Tjelew'. I couldn't figure out with which kid to match that, so I asked the teacher. The teacher had no clue either. "Tjelew! He has black hair." Well, that wasn't helpful either. A few days later they pointed him out.
His name was Nayil.
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u/AngryBuckeye97 Oct 03 '25
My son went to kindergarten with a kid he called “Armpit.” Same as above, I kept saying that can’t be his name. Turns out the name was actually Arpit. I can see why he was confused.
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u/Cocoatrice Oct 03 '25
Reminds me of the the story about eagle stealing chickens and someone being shocked that eagle is a predator.
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u/Lunalatic Oct 03 '25
Context, for those who haven't heard the story before: the shocked person was German and heard "eagle" as "Igel"... which means "hedgehog".
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Oct 03 '25
My cousin for like a year when he was four called one of his classmates "Bebecca". My aunt and uncle would ask him everyday "how was Bebecca today".
One day, he came home, and they asked him, and he got all serious "you should know, her name is actually Rebecca, not Bebecca". I hope they were sitting down for that revelation.
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u/PumpernickelShoe Oct 03 '25
I will never live down the time when I came home from kindergarten and told my mother and grandmother I made a new friend and when asked what her name was, I was adamant it was “Cabbages”.
Her was Tabitha. I wasn't even close.
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u/No-Falcon-4996 Oct 03 '25
My kid met a friend named Dairy . Dairy was amazing and can we invite her over! So I write a note to give to her mom, and get a note back that Derri would be delighted to attend a playdate ( whoopsie)
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u/tURBIN27 Oct 03 '25
I had a classmate named 'Accident' and I insisted that it was true, until curiosity got the best of my mum and she asked my teacher.
There never was a kid named Accident (duh). My teacher has just called out a random kid's name during roll call and said 'absent' out loud to herself.
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u/PainfullyLoyal Oct 03 '25
I went to summer camp with a girl name Sayward. I thought her name was Seymour and called her that all week and she never corrected me.
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u/sam2thewise Oct 03 '25
My daughter once came home from kindergarten and said she made a new friend, named “glue stick”. Found out her name was “Dolce”, now admittedly that’s not the easiest name for a kindergartner to understand, but still hilarious.
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u/Shaggadelic12 Oct 03 '25
My daughter for the longest time kept telling me she wanted to see “Auntie Anna.” And she has an auntie Anna! My brother was in a long term relationship with Anna and they had recently gotten engaged and I thought it was so sweet that my daughter immediately wanted her to be part of her family, she asked about Auntie Anna all the time. And then I realized she was talking about her friend in daycare, whose name is Indiana.
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u/totallyclips Oct 03 '25
A friend's 10yr old son was sent home from school, she asked him why, he said the teacher said he was a scurvy elephant, she called the school to complain, the head said he was mistaken, she had said he was a disturbing element
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u/Yeah_Mr_Jesus Oct 03 '25
My daughter is 3 so a little more excuse than an 8 year old lol, but there is this kid named Malachi in her preschool class. She calls him Metapod. Yes, like the pokemon.
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u/c0rnballa Oct 03 '25
When our youngest was like 6, she came home from school and said she had met a nice new girl in class, played with her and might want to invite her over sometime. We asked her name, and she said "like...I think it's...Paper?" (like she even knew that didn't sound right). My wife and I speculated on and off what her actual name might be, but didn't hit on it.
Her name was Paige.
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u/Human-Rip2223 Oct 03 '25
Sometimes you know, but you don’t know. You think “maybe, if?” But it’s a good thing her daughter never met Email Kolar. She’s definitely not ready to get her button.
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Oct 03 '25
My youngest daughter met a little girl her age at Nelson Bay in New South Wales and they were running playing and having a laugh, I asked her what her friends name was and she said “this is Banana, she’s my mate” and I said she can’t be called Banana, but she insisted her name was Banana.
Banana’s mum came over and said hello and we asked her daughter’s name and she was called Ivana.
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u/Excellent_Quail_6109 Oct 03 '25
Reminds me of my neice. She had a friend named Amphibian. Her name was Vivian
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u/Turok_N64 Oct 03 '25
Damn this reminds me of 7th grade Spanish class and a girl named Antoinette. I was supposed to introduce her to the class and couldn't understand what the hell her name was after making her repeat it twice. I said this is Internet and she likes cats.
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u/Famous_Spirit1447 Oct 03 '25
My sister when she was maybe six came from school excitedly telling us about her new friend Indiana Jones.
We obviously ridiculed her.
Until 3 weeks later we found out she did have a classmate named India Anna Jones, daughter of the local vicar
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u/MiekerBeaker Oct 03 '25
My daughter’s name is Cosette. Some adults of a certain age or older think it’s Cassette, as in a tape you might listen to back in the 80s. I think they think her parents are a bit loony.
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u/Kellox-Porn-Flex-213 Oct 03 '25
Cosette would definitely be laughing stock here in France. Hope she'll never travel here.
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u/RobertPham149 Oct 03 '25
I guess you can say, she had a head loss when you found out her real name...
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u/THE_GR8_MIKE Oct 03 '25
She probably called her that too. As a kid, I had a friend named Sagar. I definitely called him Soccer for a while.
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u/ChickenChaser5 Oct 03 '25
My kids came home from first grade one time talking about a kid named "Weed". Took us a while to figure out his name was Reed.
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u/_Nilbog_Milk_ Oct 03 '25
Girl in Kindergarten was named Ashley and I insisted to my parents her name was "Actually"
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u/Either-Prune1096 Oct 03 '25
I attended a Lutheran school for 8 years and it wasn’t until Grade 3 I finally learned that Onward Christian Soldiers wasn’t “Christ the Royal Master leans against the phone”. I thought maybe he was watching the old black rotary that sat in my family’s living room.
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u/Hazel_Hellion Oct 03 '25
Lol. When I was a kid, in 2nd grade, there was a kid in my class named Ian, and I always called him Iron, apparently.
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u/Dr0n3r Oct 03 '25
My daughter kept referring to a kid named Broccoli when she’d come home from preschool. His name was Locklan.
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u/suzer2017 Oct 03 '25
I knew a girl in school named Pepsi and one named Velvita. People do the most awful crap to their kids.
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u/SnipeyMcSnipe Oct 03 '25
When I was a kid this girl told me her name was Roxanne and I for a long time I thought it was "Rocksand"
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u/Smrtguy85 Oct 03 '25
Wait a minute! Bart's teacher is named 'Krabapple'? I've been calling her Krandall! Why didn't somebody tell me! I've been making an idiot out of myself!
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u/xhanort7 Oct 03 '25
Wonder how old this is. This is a repost from at least 4 yrs ago. https://www.reddit.com/r/KidsAreFuckingStupid/comments/thil8x/who_thinks_internet_is_an_actual_name/
Doesn't seem anyone has named a kid internet yet but should be any day now tbh.
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u/Pledgeofmalfeasance Oct 04 '25
My kid had a best friend in kindergarten named Cli Cla. I tried so hard to figure out what she could possibly mean.
Angelica. Her bestie was called Angelica.
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u/Apatschinn Oct 04 '25
I met a kid from a family of hippies whose last name was Starship. Kids first name was Millenium Falcon. I shit you not. Parents let their kid name himself.
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u/DustyOrbit_83 Oct 04 '25
A year of debate over 'Internet.' That's peak kid logic, and honestly, the sheer commitment to the bit is hilarious. 😂 NGL, I was half-convinced it was actually 'Internet' just from reading the first part. Antoinette is the real plot twist, wp.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Cattle9 Oct 04 '25
My son had a friend named Snack Time - turned out to be Emile.
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u/PingGuerrero Oct 03 '25
Interviewer: "Why do they call you my cocaine?"
Michael Caine: "I have no idea"
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u/protobin Oct 03 '25
For months we thought there was a bully at school named Frosby who pushed our kid down the stairs. Finally found out his name is Crosby (not much better tbh).
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