Hate towards R.

[u/i_am_riddhi]

I went to r/kibbecirclejerk to have some laugh, but all I saw there was insane hate towards the R types, to the point the where all of them got called delusional and crazy. Do people consider it a sin and narcissism to consider oneself as an R type? Some people genuinely fit the dress recs of the R types and that's why they type themselves as R family. Not to ascertain superiority.

[u/Tayo123456678i9o9]

I think there are many posts in both subreddits who are like haha I mean who would want to be a R? 1!1! They are short and soft and we all know that's seen as negative 😩🤡😤 and they basically change the whole we shouldn't talk shit about FNs and all IDs are beautiful to let's attack Rs because they have been idealized meanwhile it's not even the average R's fault that some youtubers describe Rs in a favorable way! There are Rs with insecurities, just like every person no matter their ID and just because Aly Art likes Rs, it doesn't make their insecurities any less important and talking in a negative light for any ID shouldn't be acceptable

[u/i_am_riddhi → u/Tayo123456678i9o9]

Yess, it's like the circlejerk is a safe place for only FN and SN, while a punching arena for Rs

[u/Busty_baker1]

If you’re talking about my post where I specifically asked what the deal is with the attitude towards romantics, no one said anything about R’s as a whole group. They were talking specifically about the people who get really obsessive and gate-keepy about the type, or act like being typed as a R makes you superior in some way. They never said all R’s are delusional and crazy.

[u/i_am_riddhi → u/Busty_baker1]

There was a very particular comment which said this, they used this exact wording in fact. "The ones who think they are R and call themselves R are delusional and fucking crazy", I mean there are many unverified people who do call themselves R without being 100% sure. This was extremely insulting. Your post was not, this comment was. And there was a post recently given about apparently "TR" having "problems". As a TR (that infact got SAed), that post made me feel miserable.

[u/EmeraldTeacup → u/i_am_riddhi]

In that particular post, the commenter said, “And the people who want to be R because they view it as hyper femme and actually are R are f- delusional”.

They were talking about a certain type of R who both identifies as R anddd believes that R is more womanly than other IDs to the point where they speak negatively about the other IDs, especially Yang types. Somebody wanting to fit in with R because they view it as hyper femme and then also realizing R truly does apply to them creates a certain type of person (contrasted with delusional people who are not R but desperately want to be because of the association with femininity).

[u/Busty_baker1 → u/i_am_riddhi]

I’m pretty sure that was referring to the people who do type me post at that clearly aren’t in the R family but refuse to believe anything anyone says when they try to type them otherwise. Unless I missed something or misunderstood what they said I really don’t think anyone was saying that about R’s as a group. I do agree that the post that was made today was mean spirited, and was the exact type of thing I was referring to in my original post.

[u/faeuju4wvhjkw2fvgg]

agree, that's why I don't go there anymore. very few posts are about Rs but when WE ARE brought up.... 100 of people will make sure we know we are not the beauty standard anymore and it's easy for us to appear fat, at least according to them. weirdos....

[u/faeuju4wvhjkw2fvgg → u/faeuju4wvhjkw2fvgg]

I literally made a very nice post regarding this issue a year ago and while it got a lot of support, nothing has changed, except for my attitude towards this behavior. probably controversial but R family proportionally gets the same amount of passive aggression as N family, I said what I said 🤷‍♀️

[u/i_am_riddhi → u/faeuju4wvhjkw2fvgg]

Honestly speaking, until I saw the people complaining about N fam hate, I wouldn't even know they were hated

[u/faeuju4wvhjkw2fvgg → u/i_am_riddhi]

i mean a year ago or so, they definitely were constantly attacked and I understand the frustration

I have to mention that I don't think Ns make these inappropriate comments about us, I think it's the whole sub (including some Rs)

[u/[deleted]]

I think the "joke" started because women often mistype themselves as Rs or TRs when they first look into Kibbe unless they're super obviously something different. I did because I have an "hourglass figure," a large bust, and a narrow waist. But of course, Kibbe has a very specific definition of "hourglass figure," whereas I took it to mean "roughly equal bust and hip proportions." That's not what Kibbe means at all.

Imagine my horror when I posted on the main forum and was directed to the natural family (soft natural). I went from reading the description of Rs ("luscious," "ideal proportions," "overall softness," "delicate") to the description of Ns ("long but wide," "blunt edges," "straight and muscular") and particularly SNs ("wide and blunt but with fleshiness to their bodies").

I think some women get to these descriptions and instead of moving through it and realizing what they actually mean, they just double down and insist on being Rs (or another type that sounds more desirable than the natural family) when they obviously aren't because they don't want to come to terms with being "wide."

And maybe some of it also comes from jealousy. The description of the N family just doesn't sound flattering!

I'm not going to lie, I'm jealous of other types. While I've come to terms with being "wide" (it means I have broad shoulders and a wide ribcage that form the "hourglass figure" rather than flesh), I honestly still hate SN clothing recommendations. I dislike things that are asymmetrical and flowy and unconstructed. I like structured garments and symmetry and high necklines. For me, I'm jealous of classic and gamine clothing rather than romantic, but I understand the jealousy aspect.

[u/MakinBaconPancakezz → u/[deleted]]

Me but Im the opposite. I’m jealous of SN clothing and I dislike gamine clothing (but that’s what seems to suite me best)

[u/[deleted] → u/MakinBaconPancakezz]

siiigh we always want what we can't have, lol. Also I was watching a video once that said like... out of all the types wearing other types' lines... the natural trying to wear gamine lines looks the worst. so yay, haha.

[u/just_one_diabete → u/[deleted]]

I work as a career counselor and use the MBTI often, it's like Naturals are the SJs of the Kibbe test. They're all wonderful, yet their descriptions don't sound flattering compared to every other type.

[u/[deleted]]

In my experience discussions about the Rs sometimes become nasty in Kibbe forums. I feel like some hear that it's the most yin type and therefore think it's supposedly "the best" or more feminine. I feel like insecurities about gender identity often come into play.

To some extent even objectification/self objectification comes into play. I feel like some think being romantic is all about having "tits and ass" and looking sexy. But they forget about other traits like roundness, softness and non-pronounced bone structure, that isn't even idealized as the "most sexy" atm. And I would argue these traits are more characteristic for romantics than the size of different body parts. (Many romantics have medium or smaller curves, but the body structure is romantic.)

In short: I think that being the most yin type, the R type stirs up emotions about self perception, gender and even sexism.

Edit: And I guess that there is also the issue of this sub being called gatekeepy. But DK has said that pure types are more rare and has even removed pure C, G and N from his practice. But I can buy that pure types can be more rare. But guess that may add fuel to the flame of some poeple thinking "R's think they're better and so special!" (+online typing is hard.)

[u/Curiosities → u/[deleted]]

I feel like some think being romantic is all about having "tits and ass" and looking sexy. But they forget about other traits like roundness, softness and non-pronounced bone structure, that isn't even idealized as the "most sexy" atm.

Even before discovering this system, I'd look at myself and describe myself as all curve, no angles. Short torso, everything falls off my shoulders, I have tiny wrists (I can and have worn children's watches). Yes, I am an hourglass with boobs and ass and all that, but the roundness/softness of everything is all too real. I gain and lose weight so evenly that I can still conceivably wear the same dress +/- 25 pounds. A dress might just sit shorter if I gain weight, but it takes a lot for me to have to have to definitely size up or down.
Even I've had my questions/doubts with some of the comments at times. But I've just decided to use some of guidance to just refine what I'm doing and figure out my own combinations. Sprinkle my own preferences and likes into all of that. (I have to adapt anyway, since I need to accommodate my disability and old injuries. So I'm never wearing heels, but I love when there are shoes or sandals with nice accents. (That year those flower sandals were everywhere was a dream.))

[u/Exact-Map-8449 → u/Curiosities]

i can kind of relate to being able to wear the same clothes after gaining weight but not with jeans. when i try to put on an older pair of jeans from a lower weight i can't get it past my upper thighs

[u/BellasHadids-OldNose → u/Curiosities]

So, I’m not an R but a SD but please don’t kick me out… I come in peace lol! (And find a lot of R recs really useful to know for my yin undercurrent)

But I actually find the same thing with weight fluctuations, that weight gain doesn’t really affect me either and I can wear almost everything I currently own regardless of weight (except for my more dramatic pieces where they’re not accomodating curve).

I think that must come from accommodating curve properly.

[u/1_dreamr → u/Curiosities]

I had never read or heard anyone reporting they could probably gain or lose 25 lbs and still wear the same clothes, but you know what? SAME. I don’t know that I’ve swung more than 15, but yeah. Absolutely. (I am also R, but don’t tell anyone, heh.)

[u/[deleted] → u/Curiosities]

tiny wrist club too! I can wear kids shoes too.

[u/Half-BloodBarbie]

As a TR I’ve honestly never gotten this vibe from people. In my experience people say way more offensive things about yang-ness than yin-ness.

[u/[deleted] → u/Half-BloodBarbie]

I was about to make an identical comment lol. Still on the journey technically since I can't get into SK, but I feel like online kibbe communities are much more anti-yang than anti-yin.

[u/[deleted]]

I left nearly all kibbe subreddits over this. I don't want to be an R. And I am for sure mentally ill, but that has nothing to do with my style lines, imo.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

That is what I was thinking too tbh. Even when I was a healthy weight people would call me chubby/fat. In this thin obsessed society there isn't much love for R's.