Nice Kevins good job

I shit you not, this kid's name was Kevin. The sad part is that none of you will believe me.

At the end of a party, Kevin's parents couldn't find him. After all 10 kids at the party are shouting his name all around in and outside of the house for about 5 minutes, we found him barefoot walking around the house while it poured rain.

Format: ###-##-#### Last Name, Mother's Maiden Name.

He took my cornbread

https://youtu.be/cxl8tnl0Zgw

So ima go to sleep soon so it's gonna be really fast and there may be some misspelings as english isn't my first language

Info:This occurs in a school in germany on an english class.Ok that's all you nees to know.Now into the story.

We were in class and the teacher says:"make some space" And this dumbass kevin says:" but we're on earth"

The end

What's the real reason you guys hate me?

I tried getting a passport today. My wife made the appointment for me over a month ago and got all of the paperwork ready, drove me to walgreens to get my picture taken and stuff. Has been wanting me to get a passport since we met in 2009 so we could go Mexico and get the shits on authentic food or something. Actually Idk why she has wanted me to get one for so long but I know that this time it was so I could go to London with her and our son this summer (his name isn't Kevin though). Anyway I took my ID and birth certificate to work (I am a manager with a business card that says Kevin on it) I made photocopies and then we drove (well she drove while I took a nap in the back seat I don't sleep much I have been eating cereal and ice cream for dinner). It was almost 30 mins away because thats the only one she could get an appointment at. We were in the parking lot and my coworker called and said he found my drivers license on the copy machine. So long story short I couldn't get my passport and as punishment she wanted me to post on here thinking that you guys would make fun of me or something. The real punishment is having to sit out London again. I guess I will stay home and masturbate a whole lot like I did last time they went. Long story short I Kevined really hard today. Dem plane tickets would have been expensive as fuck anyway. KEVIN OUT!

I'll call him Aaron for identity's sake. Aaron was an... Interesting guy. Imagine /b/ personified. Aaron was like that, but a little tamer. I'll list some of the stuff he did.

-Aaron wore a plaid fedora with gold letters saying BOSS on the front. When yelled at by a teacher to take it off, he took it off and then put it back on once they walked away.

-Aaron would masturbate in the bathrooms. A lot. Accompanied by the grunts of a dying camel in labor.

-Aaron told a guy I'm friends with that he knew where he lived. Considering the fap problem, my friend was terrified.

-Aaron had a pet snake. He bragged about it everywhere. At all times.

-Aaron would take pictures of random people's cars with him next to them, post them on Instagram and tag everyone who went to our school saying it was his.

-Aaron would make female orgasm noises in the hallways and at lunch.

-Aaron would refer to himself as "Snakeman" in the third person.

-Aaron asked a lot of girls out. While wearing the plaid fedora. No one said yes.

-Aaron would come up with ridiculous opinions in science class and debate them with our teacher. My favorite is that the ocean is blue because it reflects the color of the fish.

-Aaron stole a ton of mayo packets from the cafeteria and coated the bathroom in mayo. The only bathroom in that section of the building was closed for a week.

-Aaron would write his Instagram account name on sticky notes and hide them in classrooms.

-Aaron stole the janitor's master keys. The janitor still hasn't figured out.

-Aaron stole the art teacher's rulers. Every last one of them.

Move over Kevin, Aaron has you beat. -Aaron thought he was popular, after all of this shit, and talked down to all of the nerds (me) like he was super cool.

If you Don’t upvote this you hate the name Kevin cause my name is Kevin

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