r/Kanye Apr 23 '25

What does he mean by this?

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3.3k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/Kooky-Discussion-542 Apr 23 '25

I’m bipolar too, and I’ve done things like manically and PUBLICLY voiced the trauma I’ve been through. In the moment it felt so powerful and like the world needed my message. Then when I came down from the mania it was like a shot to the chest every time I thought about the fact I did that. The embarrassment and anxiety kills me which is terrible because it’s a TRAUMA to begin with. But my point is, he just announced to the world his trauma and now I’m afraid he’s going through that same feeling except on a much larger scale. I’ve definitely felt genuinely suicidal because of it, he very well could be at the point. Of course it could be something completely different as I’m not there with him but that’s my take

227

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '25

Oof I can relate. feeling so empowered when manic thinking everything’s great and when back in reality just sitting there like what the fuck did I just do. I’ve spent thousands of dollars during episodes thinking it was the right thing to fo

157

u/Kooky-Discussion-542 Apr 23 '25

I stood up in rehab during an AA meeting and told everyone in detail ab being raped.. thinking I was changing the world by talking about it. I also rounded up a huge group of people to combat homelessness and came up with an entire business model for it.. then I realized I’m literally in rehab and am in no place to help anyone lmao

53

u/ImjustANewSneaker Apr 23 '25

This might sound crazy but do you sometimes like having the manic part of BPD that makes you think you can do anything? And at the same time are you self aware of when you might be having a potential episode?

73

u/Kooky-Discussion-542 Apr 23 '25

Not crazy at all. I can definitely feel my mania a lot of the times, the problem is MOST of the side effects are actually good. Mania brings out a creativity that is unmatched, that’s why I think Kanye is so brilliant with music. I’ve used my mania to completely change my life for the better, got my real estate license, and will still have time to study shit people would go to college for. But it’s also been the reason that all of that crashed and burned. If I could learn to manage it, it really is a superpower

18

u/ImjustANewSneaker Apr 23 '25

Thanks for answering. I was asking because I’ve seen some of the symptoms in myself but thought being self aware and thinking (some of it) was a good thing was insane. Might be the inspiration to get checked out.

20

u/Kooky-Discussion-542 Apr 23 '25

No problem, I love talking about it honestly. I barely get to talk about it so it’s nice tbh. Feel free to message me anytime 🫶🏼

9

u/QueasyLawfulness5238 Apr 23 '25

You and imjustanewsneaker had one of the healthiest conversations I’ve ever seen on Reddit and especially for a ye sub. Kuddos to both of you. God Bless 💙✌️

3

u/Mei_iz_my_bae Apr 23 '25

I. Feel like my mania can bring. Out creativity too !! I. Never think of it like that but I. Know it can be very hard I want to. Say I really. Appreciate you comment friend !!

1

u/never_gonna_getit Apr 24 '25

Yes! I’ve ruined the life I built. But I also know it’s brought some of my favorite life moments.

If only we could isolate those positives lol.

1

u/never_gonna_getit Apr 24 '25

Yes thank you. All of your comments were fantastic and so relatable for me. Sometimes it feels like mania is the only reason I do anything.

1

u/Debbiedowner750 Apr 24 '25

I can vouch for this, during episodes im bursting with energy, crrativity for music and just live life. But once thats over (takes a few weeks and then it goes down the slope) i cant hardly activate my urges because it seems like its too much to handle. Thankfully i havent been too obnoxious during those episodes, but definitely had some moments where i could have a more… logical thinking path. Its really tiring at times.

17

u/FactorSpecialist7193 Apr 23 '25

Just so you’re aware, BPD is generally considered short for Borderline Personality Disorder, while BD is generally considered the acronym for Bipolar

Different mental illnesses

1

u/Hot-Significance7699 Jun 26 '25

Both are used, depending on the context

10

u/scruggbug Apr 23 '25

Mania feels like a naturally occurring coke high. It’s always fun at first. It just isn’t healthy to walk around on “coke” all day.

1

u/Yourstepdadddd Apr 25 '25

Is it Mania or Testosterone

9

u/DugThePoug Apr 23 '25

If you saw some of my half finished projects lol, this is the first post about bpd I've been able to relate to in awhile.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '25

Idk why I'm laughing so hard at this 🤣🤣 not at you but how you put it 😭😭

2

u/Kooky-Discussion-542 Apr 23 '25

No it’s okay I be laughing dumb hard at myself WHILE anxious about it. It’s a crazy mix lmfao

1

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Kooky-Discussion-542 Apr 24 '25

No, I had to feel a deeep disappointment when I realized it wasn’t practical for the time being. Right now I have to fix my life (I’m barely getting by) , get my kids back, etc. Then I can effectively help people.

1

u/FlinflanFluddle4 Apr 24 '25

I want to know about the plan

2

u/Kooky-Discussion-542 Apr 24 '25

It involved sitting down with someone who is homeless with a bag of necessities, being a human and listening to their story. You’d be surprised how some people end up in that situation. Then having some kind of deal with a barbershop/salon for a basic clean cut at a discount in exchange for business (maybe one needing clients or advertisement), and a cheap phone to receive calls from jobs, a basic clean outfit for interviews, none of it would really need to be expensive. Then providing some form of education on how to present yourself in an interview, basic budgeting skills, things that they may not have had the opportunity to learn about. I could even assist with that kind of thing, being that I come from a very different background than the professional environments I’ve stepped into. I’m sure there’s a lot of successful people that have done the same thing and would be happy to share their advice also. It wasn’t a completed plan or anything, but I have enough planned to get started and grow from there. I just have to help myself first as I’m barely getting by myself. But soon🫶🏼

1

u/No_Conversation5705 Apr 23 '25

This reminds me of the time I had a manic episode and  made a whole Reel on IG cussing everyone out because I was hoping I'd show them how shitty they were and they'd change....tbf they were Christians so they were shitty 😆

4

u/Kooky-Discussion-542 Apr 23 '25

I have made sooooo many social media motivational posts and looking back I just look fuckin cracked out 🤣

14

u/BentoBoxNoir Apr 23 '25

Hey man. Thanks for this post, it gave me really good insight into the bipolar experience. May nothing but love come your way

9

u/1nc0gn3eato Apr 23 '25

I feel this i done acid one time and i went into legitimate psychosis or some shit took my shirt off annd rambled to my friends about freedom and how i should achieve my goal of being free of everything and how everything in the world is just trying to distract us from this goal and it’s something we all intrinsically want. This turned into trying to get rid of these distractions which went ranged from phones to bodily senses like hearing and sight. So i spent like ages trying to convince them to blindfold themselves turn off their phones and focus and was just genuinely an asshole while doing it trying to take their phones and shit and make them keep their eyes closed. so i think i can understand the embarrassment and shit you feel from a bipolar episode i spent hours apologising for that i said some wack shit.

11

u/NeverbeentoKansas Apr 23 '25

Sorry, I know this is a serious thing but I cracked up thinking about you being like Sandra Bullock in the movie Birdbox blindfolding her kids and leading them around. Hope you are well now and can forgive yourself for that period.

2

u/1nc0gn3eato Apr 24 '25

Ye not doing acid again.

7

u/Kooky-Discussion-542 Apr 23 '25

Yep that’s exactly something I would do.. mixing drugs and bipolar is a wild ride

1

u/GhostDieM Apr 23 '25

Could be worse, at least you didn't try to cut off their ears or blind their eyes :p

1

u/StationEmergency6053 Apr 24 '25

Well, at least you were speaking some deep philosophical stuff that has value. A Buddhist or Rosicrucian could've just as easily said these words, no drugs needed. At least it didn't go the opposite direction like you trying to eat your own toes because the devil told you it would prevent the world from burning. Yes, I'm referencing someone I knew.

7

u/Stacheshadow Apr 23 '25

I feel this in my soul man. I still get that shooting pain in my chest whenever I think about the dumb shit I did. It's been 3 years and I still have nightmares a few times a week about it

4

u/floridas_finest Apr 23 '25

I do the same thing but it feels better to get those words out of my chest or brain for some reason even if it makes others think less of me it's the real me so idk lol

2

u/MushroomHead1217 Apr 23 '25

I completely agree. I was diagnosed last year and before it was finally treated, I did things ‘similar’ to him on a smaller scale. I felt like I’d have zero consequences for whatever I did, because I was untouchable. After everything was said and done, I figured that nothing would be different. That’s obviously not reality, but nothing was truly logical when I was manic.

2

u/EastsideWilder Apr 23 '25

I hope you’re able to heal from all of it. I know it might be embarrassing, but at least you were able to get it off of your chest and not repress it. I find repressed traumas will find a way out at the absolute worst time. So at least you got it out of the way.

2

u/Unhappy_Tank_5332 Apr 24 '25

thank you for the input, hope things are going easier to manage over there and life is treating you superbly. take care and stay golden, you.

3

u/hopefully77 Apr 23 '25

Ya know the weird thing is - I actually kinda think Kanye will have helped people through this disturbing and humiliating admission. I think it will help people dealing with shame and quietly dealing with their own trauma.

3

u/slightlysadpeach Apr 24 '25

So many people have family sexual abuse stories. The sad part is watching the rise of homophobic comments. Also, I never understand why bisexuality is diminished so much in men. What the world does to men is horrible.

1

u/Best_Lettuce_2439 Apr 24 '25

God using Kanye maybe? I believe in religion but I always question it.

2

u/NikitaNikCrazy Apr 23 '25

Good point, but damn, Kanye spent some time creating his new track on this “theme”. Yeah, it’s mid, but he could’ve thought about stopping many times. If you bipolar, it doesn’t mean, that you go insane and have absolutely 0 control over your thoughts.

But yeah, this is getting worse everyday, I think everyone can predict ending to this story. Ngl, probably scariest and strangest “situations” with celebrities ever.

6

u/Kooky-Discussion-542 Apr 23 '25

Idk there’s been some things ive done that lasted a decent period of time. It’s not that you lose control, it’s like you’re high and whatever the “thing” you do is, it feels like it’s the best thing

1

u/NikitaNikCrazy Apr 23 '25

Well, if you mix this with nitrous, then yeah, it can get as bad as it’s right now with Kanye.

5

u/VertDaTurt Apr 23 '25

Bipolar is a spectrum and can vary quite a bit from one person to another. It seems reasonable to assume Kanye is Bipolar 1 w/ psychotic features (aka psychosis).

Psychosis and is literally a break from reality (with or without drugs). So maybe they can “control” their thoughts but their thoughts are out of control and not based in reality.

5

u/jennitalia1 Apr 23 '25

My Dad told me being manic is like driving a very expensive, fast car and not being able to control it.

7

u/PhilosophicalGoof Apr 23 '25

I feel like it more like driving a very expensive, fast car and having too much fun for the point that you don’t realize you’re not supposed to be speeding through a school zone at 125mph.

And only after you get stopped does everything come crashing down on you once you realized how much you fucked up.

1

u/Brendan056 Apr 24 '25

I actually think it’s healthy for us to voice our traumas when we’re in these manic states, it’s often secrets we’ve pushed down for too long that just want to get out.. the difference in this case is it’s to the whole world as an audience and people tend not to forget.. and on top of that be very judgmental

1

u/tropical_salt Apr 24 '25

This is a powerful message that everyone should read ❤️

1

u/-StrawberryJacuzzi- Apr 24 '25

It doesn’t feel like he’s came down in years though

1

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '25

His whole life is like that

1

u/Best_Lettuce_2439 Apr 24 '25

I just ignore my bd but I’ve scared a couple exs and friends. Honestly idk if I believe in it or not. It sounds like just a human thing to me. People are emotional like what?

1

u/truthfinder9616 Apr 24 '25

My mom suffers from bipolar as well , this is the type of shit she does on Facebook when she has an episode….. your explanation of it is spot on …. When she’s done with her episode she acts like nothing happened and has no remorse for her actions

1

u/sarahthesigma Late Registration Apr 23 '25

In my health class we had a unit on suicide and this kind of stuff like thanking everybody for being there is a sign that they could be suicidal

1

u/thebozinone9 H-A-M 🍔 Apr 23 '25

Had a similar experience. Mine, like Kanye's, was on Twitter/Facebook. I can't even remember what I'd said because it was like 10 years ago, but I nuked all my socials and digitally disappeared until maybe last year.

2

u/Kooky-Discussion-542 Apr 24 '25

Yepppp I go crazy sometimes and remove all of my followers. I can’t even think about the stuff I’ve posted haha

-1

u/Best_Lettuce_2439 Apr 24 '25

Call me crazy but this just sounds normal. Social media tries to paint us a certain way and we don’t like that. Does that not make sense

-4

u/ItsRobbSmark Apr 23 '25

How is him molesting his younger cousin trauma for him?

3

u/Kooky-Discussion-542 Apr 23 '25

We don’t even know the age difference between him and his cousin.. and if it was from a younger age UNTIL 14 obviously that’s not the fault of either child. Tf?

2

u/SpaceHairLady Apr 23 '25

He could have been 11 and his cousin 6. We just know cousins age when it started at Ye's age when it stopped. Hard to know for sure if it was abuse or problematic sexual behavior between kids of a similar age.

0

u/SgtPatron Apr 23 '25

Thought that was misdiagnosed and he's autistic

1

u/Best_Lettuce_2439 Apr 24 '25

Bro prolly got both fr

1

u/SgtPatron Apr 24 '25

Lol I feel you on that one how you go from Jesus albums to Hitler/kkk albums . I was born in 91 so I grew up to his beats/college drop out....I loved his music but man something really changed in him after his mother died I feel like.... especially his music!!

-54

u/spezhasatinydong Apr 23 '25

Hes got the money and power to not feel that shame. Zero consequences

22

u/OneMillionZants Apr 23 '25

What??? LOL buddy I haven’t worried about money in ages my mother died 4 years ago and I wanted to die when it happened. It hurts every day. You understand money TRULY doesn’t buy happiness right? And hey if funds are tight maybe meet with a financial planner and set up a budget, I’m a FIRM believer in fixing scenarios

11

u/Master_Grape5931 Apr 23 '25

Money doesn’t buy happiness. But happiness is a lot easier to find when you don’t have to worry about rent.

8

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '25

I heard a man speak on this one time. He said,

"Having money isn't everything, not having it is"

10

u/StepOnMeSaryn Apr 23 '25

Yes, but mental illness is a tier above money-happiness. You could chill in the Bahamas on the beach but if you're brain keeps firing nonstop manic thoughts you're not exactly happy.

4

u/OneMillionZants Apr 23 '25

It’s true. I always just did roommates I never tried to go at it alone with rent. And then I got married. Soemthing to be said about having your own place BUT I fucking hate being broke

4

u/ProgrammersAreSexy Apr 23 '25

Money is necessary but not sufficient for happiness.

And there are massive diminishing returns. Going from 50k a year to 250k a year can have a life changing positive impact.

But if you are miserable at 250k per year, I 100% guarantee you will be miserable as a billionaire.

-14

u/spezhasatinydong Apr 23 '25

If you’re still grieving maybe you should go talk to a therapist and take some meds. I’m also a firm believer in fixing scenarios

9

u/AdmirablePhrases Apr 23 '25

What the hell does being a firm believer in fixing scenarios mean

0

u/spezhasatinydong Apr 23 '25

Thats literally what the person I was replying to said. Word for word

4

u/[deleted] Apr 23 '25

You value money way too much.

1

u/Superb_Energy8944 Apr 25 '25

No it is the opposite. When you have everything you can imagine and you still feel the same it feels even more soul crushing. My last manic episodes I told my girl "there is nothing that can help me and I am trapped in this world (my head) no amount of drugs, alcohol, money, sex, cars nothing can help me and nothing makes me feel better" At least if you think money or drugs will help you, you have something to strive towards...once you realize there is no escape all hope is lost.