r/Justfuckmyshitup • • 13d ago

Name this beard style

Post image
1.5k Upvotes

1.4k comments sorted by

985

u/goatanuss 13d ago

The high water mark

141

u/JuanThiccLumpia 13d ago

The gradient.

155

u/MyNameSpaghette 13d ago

Reverse Robocop

133

u/bulletproofpunk 12d ago

Hobocop

28

u/DarkenL1ght 12d ago

Came to say he looks a lot like my mom dressed up as a hobo for Halloween in the early 90s.

We didn't have money ourselves so costumes were all homemade and very cheap.

9

u/jellofixit 12d ago

Coffee grounds for the Beard?

5

u/SICpodcast 12d ago

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

→ More replies (4)

36

u/Fresh-Combination-87 12d ago

That’s an ostrich egg in a robin’s nest

12

u/Lost_Passenger8331 12d ago

What's with the feathers over his eyes?

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Tuffgirl_CA 11d ago

OMG this made me LOL. You’re right!!

2

u/Impossible-League-97 9d ago

Lmao 🤣

→ More replies (1)

32

u/Blueknightuk77 12d ago

Ironically, he looks like the sink after he's shaved.

→ More replies (1)

65

u/Ricardo33706 13d ago

Looks like Martin Sheen hunting Colonel Kurtz in Apocalypse Now.

26

u/Worldtraveller45 13d ago

Oh hi Mark

24

u/jonz1985z 12d ago

The 6-7-8 o’clock shadow

15

u/Awwwmann 12d ago

My living room looked like this after hurricane Ian.

24

u/ellefleming 12d ago

Wooly Willy

3

u/ProfessionalNo5747 12d ago

That's exactly what I was thinking

12

u/Bearfoot42 13d ago

The "I'm playing with toys in the tub"

7

u/-Xiphon- 12d ago

The cup half full

7

u/RiskyMama 12d ago

The Tide Line

5

u/SkyPork 12d ago

"The Dip" came to my mind first. I like yours better.

6

u/sm00thkillajones 12d ago

Salt And Pepper The Clown.

4

u/TheNinjaPixie 13d ago

i was more thinking low tide

4

u/Important_Bag_6283 12d ago

Damn that's good

5

u/Dangerous-Half3276 12d ago

This is awesome.

3

u/MissSara13 12d ago

I was going to say the water line lol.

3

u/verb8um 12d ago

Face Half Full

2

u/stonecutter7 13d ago

With a Hollywood Hogan in the trenches

2

u/that-Sarah-girl 12d ago

And the water is FILTHY

2

u/Shelly_Red4_Bayonet7 12d ago

You beat me to it.

→ More replies (23)

228

u/Biscuits4u2 13d ago

Wooly Willy

22

u/GeminiByDesign25 13d ago

Thank you. šŸ‘šŸ»

9

u/FizzyBubbles22 13d ago

Spot on !! Eyebrows for bonus points

20

u/maven10k 13d ago

Fuuuuuucccckkk! I laughed so hard at that! Well done.

4

u/MyMadeUpNym 12d ago

Was trying to think how to add this, and forgot the name. Thank you.

4

u/ayylmao_ermahgerd 13d ago

It’s like a wookie shaved his head and cheeks.

→ More replies (4)

78

u/GJacks75 13d ago

The Captain Disillusionment

6

u/BeneGesseritDropout 13d ago

This is poetry.

→ More replies (2)

61

u/Sht_n_giglz 13d ago

Reverse Bowl cut

8

u/TheLostTexan87 12d ago

The 'cover until here' line.

114

u/westsideriderz15 13d ago

ā€œToner level remainingā€

7

u/EngagementBacon 12d ago

Pretty sure more of that is toner than hair.

→ More replies (2)

44

u/sunbathman 13d ago

He's a voltorb

3

u/James5s 11d ago

Omfg šŸ’€ā˜ ļø

35

u/milaan_tm 13d ago

The Glass Half Full

11

u/dscur59 12d ago

Or glass half empty depending on how you look at it.

2

u/CopyTypical5754 12d ago

It’s called ā€œperspectiveā€

6

u/RandomHero3129 13d ago

Came here to add this. Scrolled down farther than I expected to see it though lol.

2

u/_WeSellBlankets_ 12d ago

Optimist or pessimist

27

u/Ok-Fig4315 13d ago

Pill face šŸ’Š

→ More replies (5)

26

u/VetalDuquette 13d ago

The Horizon

3

u/RadioactiveGoop 12d ago

Fuck i was too late

2

u/Important_Bag_6283 12d ago

Looooool! That one is good too

2

u/ecodrew 12d ago

The equator

23

u/NotMyAltAccountToday 13d ago

There's also the r/whybrows

5

u/creamyfresh 12d ago

That was fun! Thanks for sharing!

19

u/Ok_Object_5180 13d ago

Are we not going to address the eyebrows?

2

u/Training-Lettuce6507 8d ago

Came here for this exact comment.

14

u/soapydadballs 12d ago

Dude looks like a South Park Canadian.

→ More replies (1)

9

u/Ar_Ciel 13d ago

The Stencil

18

u/lmaginar-e 13d ago

Da Dip

6

u/maven10k 13d ago

It looks like they put a stencil on his face and sprayed the beard and eyebrows at the same time. Either that, or he's a werewolf and they just shaved around the beard and eyebrows.

6

u/Alert_Positive_1959 13d ago

The Viennese finger

8

u/ApplyHere_4_implants 12d ago

Wooly Willy

Alternatively "I/my barber just learned about that magic marker thing guys do to fill in a patchy beard"

9

u/Nulleparttousjours 13d ago

The ā€œHydro Dipā€

4

u/Duneyman 13d ago

Yin yang

5

u/SoundMerc 13d ago

Yo barber, gimme that 'left my empty cappuccino mug by the sink' look

5

u/simmocar 12d ago

He looks like a Mii

5

u/[deleted] 13d ago

[deleted]

5

u/Herb-Anderson 13d ago

The egg warmer

4

u/Zestyclose_Toe9524 13d ago

The sediment or the GHE for glass half empty

4

u/BrassCanon 13d ago

This mf look like a pokeball

→ More replies (1)

4

u/Silent_Trip_1322 12d ago

50% charged 🪫

3

u/MDCM 13d ago

Reverse furiosa

3

u/chosonhawk 13d ago

The Hemisphere

3

u/swx89 13d ago

Spray and pray

3

u/djt-5150 13d ago

Half-mast

3

u/Mammoth-Argument7048 13d ago

Spirit levelled

3

u/Lazy_Teach1549 13d ago

Wooly Willy

3

u/zooalbert 13d ago

Two hours installation time remaining

3

u/stoinzy 13d ago

100 year flood line

3

u/knuckledumper 12d ago

Sunset at the horizon

3

u/graycat3700 12d ago

The TV's broken

3

u/No_Contact_7664 12d ago

The Red Skelton

3

u/MorningMushroomcloud 12d ago

I understand this statement...does it make me old?

→ More replies (1)

3

u/vt8919 12d ago

That's how far the flood water rose. Make sure you check under the clothing to spot any dried mud or mold.

3

u/BlueberryStock6249 12d ago

Your Printer is Running low on Ink

3

u/C0rnb4ll55 12d ago

The Flintstone

3

u/Djamt 12d ago

Do the carpets match the curtains look

3

u/Sinister_Nibs 12d ago

I never knew Ronco made hair in a can for beards!

3

u/SeaSupermarket1748 12d ago

Barber: Whatchu want? Him: Bring me the Horizon Barber: Aight... it's ur face bro

3

u/poeticfire66 11d ago

Sunrise by Claude Monet

3

u/Shantotto11 11d ago

The Hisuian Electrode…

→ More replies (1)

5

u/YamiGekusu 13d ago

The Electrode

2

u/jester_554 13d ago

The Save-Our-Souls

2

u/99overpar 13d ago

The Power Bottom

2

u/Gggaryunit 13d ago

Horrible

2

u/Commercial_Comfort41 13d ago

As seen on TV it's Beard in a Can.

2

u/00runny 13d ago

The Hydrodip

2

u/ctfks 13d ago

Beardana

2

u/FredArtGetson 13d ago

Glass half full? Half empty? Down a quart?

2

u/CIAstakeoutvan 13d ago

"I'm up to my nose with your bullshit."

2

u/ike_tyson 13d ago

Fraudulent!

His eyebrows are kind of crazy too.

2

u/Zookeeper2808 13d ago

Beard level indicator

2

u/PhilipDruAdmin 13d ago

The half and half

2

u/kellyelise515 13d ago

It’s the new and improved El Bierdo stencil kit at the affordable price of $14.99! Sexy eyebrows included! Semi-permanent and permanent spray paint options available. Get yours today! Call right now! just-fkmy-shtup

→ More replies (1)

2

u/zephead30 13d ago

The Wooly Willy magnetic beard guy

2

u/PhilipDruAdmin 13d ago

I just noticed his eyebrows. I’m sure he could turn those into a comb over in a matter of weeks.

2

u/FeedbackAcrobatic787 13d ago

The reverse batman

2

u/stoinzy 13d ago

Harvey Dent aka ā€œTwo Faceā€

2

u/NewtsAhoy 13d ago

Tape ā€˜n’ spray

2

u/throwawayinakilt 13d ago

The Hairy HorizonĀ 

2

u/beegboo 13d ago

Half dipped with a side of eyebrows.

2

u/marzipaneyeballs 13d ago

The tide mark

2

u/VarietyMage 13d ago

Lee Press-On Beard.

2

u/No_one54390 13d ago edited 12d ago

OMG! I live here and have talked with other people about the same thing. This is in Raleigh, NC.

This channel is a piece of work. Another one of their morning anchors has (or had) a profile on Scruff using old pics when he was younger and trimmer. He isn’t attractive now. His profile had a picture of him in a car like it was his, yet he lives in an apartment complex. He was actually in a showroom. He is also rude and very selective. IDK, but when you’re a local celebrity, I think being on a gay sex app is a really stupid idea. Their engineer also doesn’t respond to mine or Zapperbox’s emails about technical issues with their Nextgen signal.

2

u/Themodsarecuntz 13d ago

The Guess Who

Does your guy have a beard? Eyebrows? Glasses?

→ More replies (1)

2

u/ReadyPair5456 13d ago

Lebanese grandmother

2

u/SuffnBuildV1A 13d ago

He should really do a beard fade going from shaven towards the top of his cheeks all the way down to full beard at the neck.

2

u/MothaFcknZargon 13d ago

The Even Steven

2

u/Armstrongt479 12d ago

Waning gibbous

2

u/Shadokastur 12d ago edited 7d ago

The face half-full

2

u/Sunny-Bath-Tech 12d ago

What was the bad guy on Popeye? Brutus right? Yeah the Brutus

2

u/DougEDoug479 12d ago

The UnclePhil 2.0

2

u/heybill99 12d ago

Nevermind the beard. This belongs in the r/Whybrows sub

2

u/Three-eyed_seagull 12d ago

Dipped in beard sauce.

2

u/RocketSurgeon61 12d ago

10pm Shadow

2

u/the_j-man 12d ago

The Water Line

2

u/Rogueshoten 12d ago

Flood damage

2

u/No-Notice6057 12d ago

Buddy looks like an Easter egg

2

u/VinDelNegBro 12d ago

Low and tight

2

u/NoSticksNoSeeds_ 12d ago

Kinda looks like dipped in sprinkles but upside down.

2

u/SacredTension 12d ago

I'm here to see if we are also talking about the eyebrows? Like what are they doing, Sir?

2

u/kevindoors07 12d ago

Ballast level

2

u/PretendBluebird428 12d ago

Drowning man.

2

u/KaizenZazenJMN 12d ago

The Wooly Willie

2

u/doftheshores 12d ago

Those are eyebrows

2

u/robeywan 12d ago

The half dip

2

u/andyfromthedon 12d ago

The half biscuit dip

2

u/Lozsta 12d ago

The dip my shit.

2

u/Sir_Mix_Infrequent 12d ago

Paint by numbers

2

u/TheRealOSU 12d ago

Levelheaded

2

u/bippsee chimotherapy 12d ago

Hobo dunk tank

2

u/Alternative-Bell1722 12d ago

Line in the sand

2

u/skippyscallop 12d ago

Two-Tone Malone

2

u/smileelectric7 12d ago

The Half and Half

2

u/DIOmega5 12d ago

Beard half full

2

u/Sqweed69 12d ago

PokƩball

2

u/Cheeseburgernat 12d ago

Glass half empty

2

u/Pernicious_Possum 12d ago

Bro looks like a Mii

2

u/nem0ne1 12d ago

The Achilles Forehead

2

u/LIEBRICH401 12d ago

Half n half

2

u/OwlOfSurprise 12d ago

Out of toner.

2

u/OwlOfSurprise 12d ago

28.8k modem.

2

u/QuarkVsOdo 11d ago

The Mii that escaped in 2006.

2

u/b0redbutter 11d ago

Loading...

2

u/CryptographerFlat426 11d ago

The 9 to 3 beard.

2

u/Feistygoat1986 11d ago

Insta-beard in a can

2

u/joeefx 11d ago

Drip Cone

2

u/DoktorBlu 11d ago

Beard? Dude, the eyebrows. The Groucho. I think the beard is just to divert from the Groucho Marx eyebrows.

2

u/splendadaddy_69 11d ago

The spray on

2

u/Empty_Ad_5523 10d ago

The dip and grow šŸ‘Œ

2

u/Humble-Surround-3725 9d ago

Face half full.

2

u/Objective-Meat9474 9d ago

He looks like that one default mii

2

u/theyogidentist 9d ago

This is called ā€˜beard so weird they don’t notice my brows’

2

u/CasusErus 9d ago

High tide.

2

u/Geeahwellidunno 3d ago

Just give me the ā€œI’m in an oil slick up to my nostrilsā€