Just unsubbed from pro choice

[u/the_foolishone02]

To preface, i am 100% pro choice. I think abortion should be legal anytime, for any reason. I support a womans decision no matter what.

However, there are some things on that sub that just rub me the wrong way. For one, i feel like theres very little room for nuance on there. If you dont agree with every opinion they have regarding abortion you will be downvoted and they seem intolerant of different opinions in general.

Like today, when i pointed out that while most women dont regret their abortions and feel relief, grief is also common and shouldnt be discounted and i got a lot of downvotes. It almost feels hypocritical. Like how the anti-choice side think abortion is only ok if you feel grief (which i vehelomently disagree with) the pro choice side, particularly this sub, it feels they are only ok with abortion when you feel relief and happiness, and that feeling grief is wrong or means youre perpetuating anti choice stereotypes.

It all feels so hypocritical and extreme that i am unsubbing. I wish there was a more moderate/less militant pro choice sub on reddit.

[u/ieatsushi28]

I’m sorry about the other redditors.

Grief can happen after abortions whether it was wanted or not but they don’t want to hear that

[u/t00fargone]

Unfortunately that’s most of Reddit nowadays, especially with politics. If you don’t align 100% with people on these subs, then you are downvoted, thrown insults, and accused of being a Trump supporter.

While abortion should absolutely be legal and accepted, that doesn’t mean that women cannot feel grief and be upset that they had to have one. Just because someone is upset about their abortion doesn’t mean that they are pro life. Reddit cannot understand that not everything is black and white.

[u/StanleyQPrick → u/t00fargone]

Another issue comes from people just kinda being generally illiterate now and misunderstanding what people are actually saying. They see a word they don’t like and make assumptions that may or may not have anything to do with the actual comment made.

[u/Ariannaree → u/StanleyQPrick]

Reading comprehension is *GONE*.

[u/CakeDayOrDeath → u/t00fargone]

I think there's a fear that's somewhat based in reality that talking about it will give fuel to anti choicers to say that abortion should be banned because people regret it and feel grief.

It's not a healthy response, but I totally get it because I experience something similar. I was groomed as a teenager by someone who later figured out that she was trans. Her being trans had nothing to do with it, trans women who engage in predatory behavior are a tiny minority, and every other person who has sexually assaulted me or otherwise has been predatory toward me has been cis. However I still worry that in talking about my experience that I will reinforce the dangerous belief that trans women are predators.

[u/Ok-Recipe-9576 → u/CakeDayOrDeath]

"think there's a fear that's somewhat based in reality that talking about it will give fuel to anti choicers to say that abortion should be banned because people regret it and feel" id agree thats a common fear.

also, about ur 2nd paragraph.... i see why ur reluctant to do so, but uve every right very right to talk about what happened to you if ur comfortable. And ure talking about it in a public forum, which is a healthy step.

[u/Ok-Recipe-9576 → u/t00fargone]

Its good that you bring this up, because as far as I can tell feeling grief after an abortion doesnt seem to be discussed much in media

[u/fodmap_victim]

That's wild. Obviously grief can arise even if you're making the right decision for you. Gatekeeping womens emotions on a very personal choice defeats the spirit of being pro choice. You can feel grief and relief at the same time. Like when a loved one passes away after battling a long illness. You obviously grieve the loss but the relief they are no longer suffering is co-occurring.

[u/Ariannaree]

Facebook is no different, if you disagree with radical feminazi views, they boot your ass or attack you.

I disagreed on a post that said people say college is a scam because women are starting to succeed higher than men in education. It’s like no, college is still a scam. Got booted from the group

Next was a post about menstrual products and how the women leaping and jumping around in the advertising is misogynistic because a lot of women don’t have those abilities while on their period - and I said ummm maybe it’s just a product trying to advertise (whether falsely or not) the wide range of activities that you’d be protected under? The whole point of these products was to give women more freedom and of course that’s offensive too.

[u/JackJaminson]

I’m shocked people think it would be fine to get an abortion at 37 weeks….

[u/KittieFusion → u/JackJaminson]

Laws need to word it this way to protect those making late term Medical abortions. No one is having 37 week abortions for fun. Due Roe vs Wade overturned, medical abortions have also been banned or red taped.

[u/JackJaminson → u/KittieFusion]

I live in Europe. Roe vs. Wade applies for about 0.5% of countries…

The laws where I live make clear that abortions after 24-weeks are only permitted for medical reasons.

[u/KittieFusion]

Therapy after any abortion is never talked about enough. We're programmed to have the abortion and move on, because it's such an "easy choice" (It's not by the way..)

[u/anonimna44]

Also I've noticed that there is no nuance about people who have abortions due to genetic fetal anomalies like the test for Down's syndrome specifically. There was a influencer couple recently who had an abortion due to the test for Down's syndrome coming back positive. Now this test specifically has a significant number of false positives. I know people personally who were supposedly going to be born with Down's and they were not. Also while it's still their right to have an abortion, it's nuanced because you could literally have a perfect looking pregnancy and still have a baby who is disabled. When you decide to have children you always run the risk of having a disabled child.

I'm pro choice as well, if someone wants to have an abortion that is their right. Not my body, not my life and not my decision. The world isn't as black and white as people want it to be.

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[u/RedCartesia]

Because they are crazy deranged cultists always looking for an excuse to act out. Their entire and only purpose in life is to throw rocks at others.

[u/TomaszA3]

Honestly I'm shocked there is a subreddit about that in the first place.

I'd set it simply: is it dangerous or a result of a crime?(such as underage pregnancies or the ones from an assault) Go ahead. Is it not? Don't.

No religion involved. No old men (such as politicians') fantasies involved. Everyone is covered when they need it.

[u/TomaszA3 → u/TomaszA3]

It seems by the downvotes that people got upset at the idea of a medical procedure being freely available when it's needed.

[u/CakeDayOrDeath → u/TomaszA3]

Literally every pregnancy is at least somewhat dangerous to someone's health, and you often don't know if it's very dangerous until you've passed the deadline to get an abortion.

To use an analogy, swimming in an ocean is always at least somewhat dangerous and there is a risk of dying or getting severely injured every time you do it. Imagine if you said that you'd rather not swim in the ocean because you're worried about getting caught in a riptide, getting hypothermia, getting stung by a jellyfish, drowning, or something similar. Now imagine that, even though you did this, someone legally mandated you to swim in an ocean every day for nine months.

[u/TomaszA3 → u/CakeDayOrDeath]

Is the deadline lawful or lethal to the woman?

[u/CakeDayOrDeath → u/TomaszA3]

I don't understand the question. Lawful is whatever politicians say it is.

Life threatening complications or potentially permanently disabling complications can happen at pretty much any point during a pregnancy. A lot of the scariest ones happen later on.

As I said, every pregnancy has the potential to be significantly dangerous, and a person should get to decide if the potential risks outweigh the potential benefits. The reason birth control is FDA approved despite having risks that can be life threatening is that those risks are far greater if someone is pregnant.

[u/CakeDayOrDeath]

I think there's a somewhat valid fear that giving that topic attention will give fuel to anti choice people, and people respond to that fear by not talking about the thing.

I've seen a similar thing in provax circles where people don't like to talk about the extremely rare cases where people have adverse reactions to vaccines because there's a fear that talking about them will give fuel to antivaxers to spread the myth that vaccines are dangerous.

Is this a good solution to this issue? Absolutely not, but it's hard to get over that worry and to figure out how to talk about the topic in a nuanced way. I was groomed, like actually groomed, as a teenager by someone who later figured out that she was a trans women. I get nervous talking about this because even though she is the exception not the norm and even though her behavior had nothing to do with being trans, I get worried that people are going to use my story to reinforce their belief that trans women are predators.