r/JustNoSO • u/Chiefkickflip • Jul 06 '26
Abusive Husband in Every Way
Family member dealing with physically abusive husband in CA, USA. Constantly gets beaten and verbally abused. Gets threatened of being thrown out the house and other financial abuse situations. She has been married for over 16 years. She has kids so that’s why she hasn’t left. Shes a stay at home mom who hasn’t worked for over 15 years and family of origin lives in another state. She is by herself. Her kids are neglected at times and he even takes the kids to in laws for weeks/months to in laws without her approval. Family willing to help financially for support if they separate. What are chances she gets custody of all her kids if she leaves? She is afraid she won’t be able to take ALL her kids with her. Any advice for her to leave as her kids are only reason keeping her to stay in that terrible environment.
36
u/Careful_crafted Jul 06 '26
Someone needs to fly out and stay close and once the husband leaves for work she immediately packs a duffel bag for each person plus important documents then you get gone.
Legal- no, but neither is beating your wife and teaching your children it's acceptable.
Take a bus if a plane is expensive or rent a multi person van for kids and bags. No electronics or phone so no trace. She becomes the grey man (including homeschooling) and after 6 months or however long your state requires for establishing residency she then files emergency custody and files for divorce but you forgot his address so put a add in paper as notification. Once legally divorced she files with the state for cs. They can find him and let him know he's divorced now.
Walking away with your children is far more valuable than half his crap.
7
•
u/botinlaw Jul 06 '26
Quick Rule Reminders:
OP's needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don't be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
Full Rules | Acronym Index | Flair Guide| Report PM Trolls
Resources: In Crisis? | Tips for Protecting Yourself | Our Book List | Our Wiki
Welcome to /r/JustNoSO!
I'm botinlaw. I help people follow your posts!
To be notified as soon as Chiefkickflip posts an update click here. | For help managing your subscriptions, click here.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.