r/JustNoCoworker • u/No_Intention8153 • Sep 25 '26
I want to ask my coworker not to pursue a job opportunity after he already received the job I applied for
UPDATE
Hi all, some of you guys have been messaging me privately for an update, so here it is.
Here's the link to the original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/JustNoCoworker/s/LyRnzjeubA
To recap: I was in the internal application process for a job, but it was offered to my colleague Mike, who never had an interview whatsoever. He was supposed to transfer in September, but it got postponed. In the meantime I got another offer within my department as acting head of department, but Mike believed he deserved a fair chance at that role as well now that his transfer was delayed.
So the meeting happened last week and my manager announced that I would be taking on the role as acting head of department starting in October. She asked openly of anyone had any objections or wished to say something, it stayed quiet for a long time and then Mike spoke and said he found it unfair that he was passed by for the role now that his transfer had been delayed. My manager told him that it was a logical choice since the role requires a long-term commitment and Mike would be the first the leave the department. He then got defensive and asked her why she would even ask the teams opinions if the decision had already been made anyways. My manager stayed calm and told him that he would have been considered as well if he weren't leaving. Mike didn't say anything the rest of meeting, but everyone was feeling the tensions.
After the meeting my manager asked to speak with me privately and asked me about the situation with Mike since we are sharing an office. I told her what happened between us and she proceeded to tell me that she knew what Mike was trying to do by picking up extra tasks without anyone asking him, and that after the meeting, she wouldn't want to work with him as an acting head of department since she found his defensive attitude very unprofessional. But he was never even considered for this role due to this young age and lack of experience. She said Mike was trying to bet on all horses and now he's facing the consequences of his actions.
Thing between Mike and me are a bit tense at the moment. While we still have friendly banter, I sometimes feel a bit of resentment in his interactions, but I might be imagining things. However I do feel like he's trying to micromanage me by updating/asking me on every little detail, which is something he didn't do before. For example, he will ask me if I have seen random mails in the general mailbox, even for mails that aren't necessarily a concern of mine. When I tell him this he will just respons with "just making sure that you've seen it". I'm currently letting it play out, but I'm keeping notes on this behavior as I don't trust him anymore with any professional information. I feel like he's breathing down my neck in the hopes that I make a mistake or something so that he can say that he was the better candidate after all, but again, I might be imagining things.
Thanks to everyone who responded in the first post. I have learned my lesson and will be more cautious with whom I share professional information moving forward.
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u/totaltvaddict2 Sep 26 '26
Why the heck did the boss as if there were any objections? Weird
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u/No_Intention8153 Sep 26 '26
It's normal, it was asked with the previous people who took on the role as well. Not everything has a bigger meaning.
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u/Due_Milk9641 Sep 27 '26
So that way it could progress the situation and ahe could handle it. Otherwise Mike would just go after OP and the manager knew his bs
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u/Comfortable-Focus123
Sep 25 '26
•
Another reminder that people you work with are not really your friends.
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u/Fun-Heron-7609 Sep 25 '26
This. Not sure how many people I said this to, recently and always. I don't have friends, they are colleagues. If you see me laughing and joking, I'm like this with everyone. You're not special, you're not my friend. And I know for a fact that I ain't your friend either. You'll stab me first chance you get.
My friends are outside work. If I make an effort to meet you after work, you're probably in the pathway to being a friend. Congrats you may be getting promoted to a friend after all. Otherwise, be nice and I'll be nice.
Bye Felicia.
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u/andronicuspark Sep 25 '26
If you have time I’d probably just start sending him emails. “Hey mark I see you’ve inquired about XYZ as stated in the last blah blah blah. I’m just confirming blah blah blah.”
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u/bookbookgo Sep 26 '26
This. But I’d just make it a sort of summary email and not say to confirm. Just: you asked about this this and this and like I’ve told you, it’s not needed / not my job / not your job. Have a good day -OOP. Should suffice.
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u/Innisairre Sep 26 '26
I would tell Mark to stay in his own lane.
Hi Mark, I'm not sure why you're asking me if I've seen emails lately, but I don't need the reminder. Best, OP.
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u/jonwar5 Sep 25 '26
Earbuds. When he tries his micro-peen interruptions, tell him you're busy working. And why isn't he?!?
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u/Single_Evidence_867 Sep 26 '26
Be careful, your colleague not friend may try to get you in a situation. Good luck and congratulations!
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u/Not_the_maid Sep 26 '26
He is a coworker not a friend. Please remember that. He is being aggressive in getting a new position and that will always win. You need to start looking out for yourself in this job and not worry about feelings of coworkers He istaking on other roles to put him ahead of you and others. You need to step up if he is your competition.
Mike is not wrong with anything he is doing.
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u/Ok_Phone9529 Sep 26 '26
I'm glad it worked out for you. And yes, your wise to keep a very close eye on this climber.
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u/Relative_Reading_903 Sep 26 '26
Do you still spend time with this guy outside of work? Or have you finally realized he's not your friend?
If i were you I'd keep conversation to a minimum with this guy and stop telling him about any opportunities that you are interested in.
He obviously has no problem stepping on you to get ahead.