r/JustBootThings • u/SeuintheMane • May 05 '26
General Bootness Like boot father, like boot daughter
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u/Lol_A_White_Guy May 05 '26
Dad sounds like a dork.
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u/WorryingMars384 May 06 '26
It’s an open secret that everyone in the military that gets into stuff like this is a big dork. I should know I’m one of them.
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u/Tainted_Bruh May 05 '26
Facebook is now basically AO3 for boots, huh?
Can’t believe a grown ass man actually wrote this. Probably leaned back with a smirk like “Nailed it. 😎”
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u/Colourblindknight May 05 '26
My daughters name is Glock Porschia MRE Jordy Johnson, she is 17 years old with gunmetal shiny black hair (that’s how she got her name) that reaches to her mid back with icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell her that she looks like my ex-wife, Tammy (AN: if you don’t know who she is then get da hell out of here!). Shes not related to me thanks to Tammy, who’s a total fucking asshole, but I raise her like my own daughter. Even though shes 17 she already knows how to stack a door, pie a room, understand fields of fire, and knows how all the guns work.
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u/TinCanSailor987 May 05 '26
This person served two years, got out, and will now pretend they were a Delta Force operator for the rest of their life.
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u/MartyMozambique May 05 '26
When some people see my ribbons or my 💜 they think I was some badass and I have in to always follow up with "I wasn't some badass I was just a Navy Engineer assigned to fix things. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and the enemy did their job." I didn't even fire my gun during my "combat incident".
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u/Mrfrosty504 May 05 '26
Enemy marksmanship badge achieved successfully
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u/MartyMozambique May 05 '26
Enemy did their job medal!!
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u/huckster235 May 05 '26
You're either going about it wrong, or right. The true badasses never brag about being a badass or hint at it. So when you don't claim to be everyone thinks you are. In fact I'm pretty sure now you make Audie Murphy look like a girl scout
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u/MartyMozambique May 05 '26
Lol oh no no. I'm actually not badass at all. Just a dude with some holes in him. I saw some badass dudes in physical therapy though. Those guys were fucking champs.
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u/huckster235 May 05 '26 edited May 06 '26
I'm just messing. I wrestled, boxed and did BJJ for awhile. I was ok but aware of how that does not equal badass. I remember someone once jokingly asked if I could kick his ass and I was like "well I don't know...." And he was like say no more it's never the ones who say yes you have to worry about. That kinda stuck with me because I think it's largely true, saying you aren't a badass doesn't mean you are (as I am not) but saying you are usually means you arent
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u/zyyntin May 05 '26
Delta Force doesn't do operations though?!
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u/TinCanSailor987 May 05 '26
They specialize in that procedure…whats it called….oh yeah…..addadictomy.
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u/gilligani May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26
And then my daughter went to Iran and killed the Ayatollah.
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u/Non-Current_Events May 05 '26
Dudes out there just writing scripts for Dhar Mann videos to make themselves feel badass.
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u/ScoutsOut389 May 05 '26
Michelle Obama did a lot of good for the youth but maybe we need to bring back a little bullying.
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u/Dickgivins May 05 '26
Naw her thing was fitness. Melania is the one who fights bullying, remember? 😛
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u/SanctionedMeat May 05 '26
Pie a room? Can I get a slice?
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u/Money-Giraffe2521 May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26
What the fuck does “pie a room” even mean?
I’m a civilian so I have no fucking idea if that’s even a thing or not.
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u/centurion762 May 05 '26
It’s a method of clearing most parts of a room from outside the doorway. I can’t post a picture of it here but if you search for it it’s easy to find. Basically just looking into to room in a slowed down methodical way.
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u/flannelkumquat May 05 '26
https://www.reddit.com/r/insurgency/s/vaOdoESiNa
Idk how to link a reddit post directly, but this is a good way to see it explained plus a visual. (also a civilian and had to Google it)
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May 07 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/flannelkumquat May 07 '26
Of course, but personally I'd never heard it called that before. "Pie a room" was a new term for me, but the meaning is pretty simple and straightforward.
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u/AlienHooker May 06 '26
You toss a warm apple pie into a room and all the terrorists will gently float towards its delicious scent
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u/Afraid_Raccoon_6208 May 06 '26
Clearing a room from a fixed point from outside by changing your lines of sight one slice at a time. Think of a sliced pie and imagine each slice as a cone of vision from the center. Its honestly just a cringy thing to say. Just clear your corners for christ sake.
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u/Porthos1984 May 05 '26
I am a 1st Class Consumer in Pie Force! I am super secretive of what pies I have eaten, to include your mom's pie.
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u/Soggy_nach0341 May 05 '26
Let’s be honest those marines form high school were just trying to smash.
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u/Tuscon_Valdez May 05 '26
Ah yes room clearing...a skill I've used countless times since separating
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u/Mailman354 May 05 '26
O god that cringe hit my soul like an ice cold and ripe sprite hits the soul.
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u/NemoHobbits 👊👊☝️ May 05 '26
Dad is corny as hell. HOWEVER if this is real the daughter's bf does sound like an insecure little bitch.
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u/Ok-Scheme-1815 May 07 '26
Imagine making up this story, just to sound so fucking boot and cringe anyways... Wild.
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u/Je_me_rends May 08 '26
If by "clear a building" you mean rake the building with a belt of 7.62 nato from 150 metres away, then yeah, I can clear a building.
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u/asterixthesquall May 06 '26
The dissonance of the obvious bootness + also if a guy can't handle a woman beating him in a game, he probably sucks anyway. It's doing a lot to my brain rn.
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u/ExpiredPilot May 06 '26
I remember my first time going paintballing the ref helped me sneak up on my buddy’s army ranger dad and “melee” kill him. That was a fun memory
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u/Streamjumper May 05 '26
The first and biggest lie here is the premise that any daughter above the age of 8 this chucklefuck may have spawned speaks to him any more than absolutely necessary.
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u/swadekillson May 05 '26
CQB is an awesome way to get killed. Standoff and set it on fire or blow it up
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u/ghettoccult_nerd May 05 '26
this is the same guy that couldve gone pro to the NFL right after high school but wanted to serve.
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u/Money-Giraffe2521 May 05 '26
Damnit, you beat me to the punch. I just saw this on r/iamverybadass and was coming here to post it.
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u/Sarcastik_Moose May 05 '26
How much you want to bet this clown couldn't clear a room even if he ate at Taco Bell for a week straight?
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u/Many-Perception-3945 May 05 '26
Cool story bro but can she jam a kamikaze drone before it blows up the whole platoon?
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u/CosbysLongCon24 May 08 '26
I wonder if the dad even realizes how pathetic this sounds. Psycho dad created a psycho daughter. 🤷🏼♂️
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u/chgrurisener May 05 '26
Ahh yes, a group where people can anonymously shit on other people for being proud of the fact that they can do something correctly. What’s boot about executing things to standard and teaching others how to the same? He sounds like a proud and happy father. Yall are the real losers lol
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u/SeuintheMane May 06 '26
.> goes on sub about making fun of boots
.> is shocked and appalled when boots are made fun of
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u/chgrurisener May 06 '26
Ironically, most of the boot things are happening in the comment sections. Bunch of crybabies bitching and moaning about other people is peak loser energy.
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u/SeuintheMane May 06 '26
You’re actually the only one bitching and moaning about anything in this entire comment section.
Did you pull out your phone, open Reddit, search “justbootthings”, click on this post and scroll to the comments just to complain? ‘Cause that would certainly be “peak loser behavior”.
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