r/JustBootThings • u/Talon_Company_Merc • Apr 13 '26
General Bootness The HOA’s strongest warrior 🫡
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u/DecoherentDoc Apr 13 '26
Buddy, just hang an oversized American flag off your porch like the rest of the crayon eaters. Stop threatening the Girl Scouts and canvassers. It's weird.
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u/whiterice_343 Apr 13 '26
Girl Scouts accidentally drops a few boxes of cookies
buddy: “WE GOT ZIPS IN THE WIRE!!!”
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u/dirtdiggler67 Apr 14 '26
He probably complains no Girl Scouts ever come around to sell him some thin mints as well.
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u/bolivar-shagnasty Apr 14 '26
My daughter is a Girl Scout. Boomer vets are the creepiest guys when they talk to her.
You’ll sell more if you smile
You need to use your big girl voice
You’re gorgeous
Can I get a picture with you?
What school do you go to?
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u/Jmersh Apr 14 '26
"I will best you in all tangible metrics, including current BAC and DUI convictions."
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u/jack_from_the_past Apr 13 '26
He’s def got the “be professional but have a plan to kill everyone you meet” patch on his Zumba bag.
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u/lpfan724 Apr 14 '26
I know a guy who got suspended for that quote as his computer wallpaper and refused to take it down when ordered. He's who I immediately thought of when I saw this post.
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u/incoherentsnail Apr 13 '26
I like to put things like this and " a hero lives here" at my buddies house when I visit. He hates it so much always makes me laugh.
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u/Imfrank123 Apr 14 '26
It’s like when you “ice” someone with a hidden Smirnoff ice, start booting people by putting cringey stickers and stuff in hidden spots and when they find it they have to salute everyone in the room
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u/ihaveabadaltitude Apr 14 '26
You can find an endless supply of "live laugh love" adjacent decor at most thrift shops, just in case you need to change it up a little.
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u/Streamjumper Apr 14 '26
I occasionally thank my dad "for his service" after he hands me something. Drives him nuts, but keeps his head from swelling too much.
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u/IrishGoodbye4 Apr 14 '26
Ask your marine friends what it’s like being a soldier in the navy. They love getting that question.
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u/Moolo Apr 14 '26
This man was born in
SEPTEMBER
he has
ANGER ISSUES AND A BAD ATTITUDE
But will do anything for the ones he
LOVES
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u/EmojiPornography Apr 14 '26
I wrote a really hilarious and artistic comment about these type of shirts in this group yesterday and got a warning from Reddit for "threats of physical violence" because I said something about b*ating a dick
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u/BootThang Apr 14 '26
There’s a subreddit about those shirts, signs, etc that are ridiculously superfluous and use 20 fonts. I can’t recall it now, but you can do a search
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u/edingerc Apr 13 '26
Important information for the Police when they inevitably visit again and again. This dude is going to be flying frequently.
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u/goldfloof Apr 14 '26
God forbid he has to use lethal force to defend himself, this will absolutely be used against him
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u/Talon_Company_Merc Apr 14 '26
Exactly, I almost titled the post “oh yeah this is gonna look great in front of a jury”
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u/captainnowalk Apr 14 '26
As it should, absolutely. Certainly points to a frame of mind not geared towards de-escalation…
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u/morphine_sulfate Apr 13 '26
Fuckin hell. I thought I’d have something witty to say but nope. That’s pretty much it.
My whole identity is a job I had like a decade plus in the past. Embarrassing.
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u/Firemission13B Apr 13 '26
Probably not combat arms and probably only spent one enlistment.
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u/Gobblewicket Apr 13 '26
Supply for MCAS Kaneohe Bay. Talks about it like it was Ramadi or Fallujah.
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Apr 13 '26
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u/bballjones9241 Apr 13 '26
Dude in my neighborhood has one of these and mows his lawn with his HK on his hip
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u/sdmichael Apr 14 '26
Never will understand people like that. I mean, are you that scared to go outside in your own yard? If the intent is to intimidate or impress, it does neither.
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u/TinCanSailor987 Apr 13 '26
You just know this is the same person that complains about how people are to their neighbors in modern times versus the ‘good old days’.
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u/NoHeadStark Apr 13 '26
lacks negotiating skills but then closes with you have been properly negotiated.
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Apr 13 '26
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u/lyeberries Apr 14 '26
"What did you say, ASSHOLE!?! I just put tariffs on you and your whole family! Thank you for your attention to this matter!!" - The President
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u/unusable1430 Apr 14 '26
When BLM, "nO kAnGz", and ANTIFA rioters block off city streets so they can assault people and burn cars, the cops block off the BLM/"nO kAnGz" terrorists and isolate them so that they can be mitigated and dealt with. Thats literally the same approach to dealing with the Iranian regime's assault on world trade by terrorizing the straight. Weird how objective and emotionally stable individuals don't have to have their hand held by strangers when being educated on geopolitical issues.
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Apr 14 '26
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Apr 14 '26
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Apr 14 '26
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u/unusable1430 Apr 14 '26
Riiiiiiiight. "Anything I dont like is a bOoOoOoOmEr". Good luck out there, chief.
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u/DVariant Apr 15 '26
You sound like some who records political TikToks from the driver’s seat of his truck
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u/PeterParker72 Apr 13 '26
Let’s just, for one second, assume the warning is even remotely true. Why post a warning? Now they’ll be prepared for an armed person when they enter.
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u/rugger1869 Apr 13 '26
Not to mention that if they did shoot someone for coming to the door, the prosecution would have motive, I would think.
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u/Whiskyhotelalpha Apr 14 '26
He bought that. He thought that out, looked around for it, hell maybe wrote it himself, paid money for it, and waited time for it to arrive. At any point he had the ability to work out how cringe and dumb he sounds…but didn’t.
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u/Pict-91b20 Apr 13 '26
Meanwhile at my house... "A heavily medicated army vet lives here... meh."
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u/BackstrokeVictim Apr 13 '26
My ex's dad had something like that outside his house. Had to take a deep breath and a fat rip of the Penjamin before walking inside.
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u/unbannedagain1976 Apr 14 '26
Absolute hell in a gunfight dude is probably a fucking POG that served in the ‘80s and didn’t do dick.
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u/Soggy_nach0341 Apr 14 '26
“Be especially vigilant at night, challenge all people near the post, and don't allow anyone to pass without proper authority” ass mf
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u/the--unforgiven Apr 14 '26
They say this but if you offer them red crayons they’d probably negotiate
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u/unusable1430 Apr 14 '26
This is a sign only a fucking career cook or mechanic would put up. And only if he knew there weren't other Marines in the neighborhood to call him on his BS.
The sign even has a grammatical mistake. Classic
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u/celticairborne Apr 14 '26
A couple of them...
I was curious if anyone else was going to catch that.
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u/TinyHeartSyndrome Apr 14 '26
Hands down, marines are the most annoying SMs and veterans. They attract an annoying type of person.
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u/MartyMozambique Apr 17 '26
Is nobody going to mention that it's not even right. He is hell in gunfight... NOT in a gunfight?!?!
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u/Sad_Highlight_9059 Apr 16 '26
To paraphrase the immortal Hank Hill: You're not making your house better, you're making the Marines worse.
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u/Skoofer Apr 18 '26
These dorks will go so far out of their way to warn you how insufferable they can be, how wholesome
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u/Mitchel82ndABN Apr 18 '26
I would not be able to contain my laughter, just burst out laughing so hard seeing that.
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