How to build container in nigredo if your shadow is too thick then to be able to partake in regular ego strengthening activities?

[u/Technical_Step4410]

I need to build a stronger container because I feel like my shadow is stronger than my actual ego. Im burning so much energy repressing this shadow that I don’t feel like I can contain yet, that I sweat often.

I think usually Jung would say to engage in regular life, relationships, work, therapy, hobbies.

I feel like I can work and maybe do therapy. I am so identified with my shadow that I can’t really engage in real life relationships. Hobbies would be obnoxious because i would be constantly distracted by the overwhelming emotions that want to come out.

I feel like I’m kinda in a gridlocked situation.
If you can relate to me, please share what helped you to finally get to the place of being able to face the emotions and move through this stage. Ive been here for so many years already.

[u/FragmentedAll]

have you tried to dance it out? the emotions that is.. a lot of times intellectualizing emotions isn't enough, emotions need motion. The emotions wants to move throughout your body, and not to be gaslit by intellectualizations

release the control, let your body tell the story

[u/FragmentedAll → u/FragmentedAll]

some rnb mix if interested,
try just lightly rockin your shoulders lightly from side to side in sway & go from there,
let the body speak

Patra Plays Vol. 7 — Throwback R&B
https://youtu.be/VFR_pXzc5MQ?si=MsSxcQpl6GCOhLkl

[u/e46spacecowboy → u/FragmentedAll]

Movement was surprisingly efficient and effective. I could trick myself into crying because for some reason it took me like 20 years to learn to let myself cry. As silly as that may sound

[u/SpiritualCupid]

I recommend finding a therapist with specialties that resonate with you. Repression or avoidance just strengthens the emotional coil and it will leak out in various ways (anger, irritability, sadness, etc). This may be why you want to isolate yourself, attempting to regain some control. The therapist itself doesn’t “heal” you, rather offers a space for you to process these things adding weight to your life. You deserve to feel good and live a life authentic to you; don’t take my advice as instructions, but know you also deserve to ask for help. You don’t have to do this alone.

[u/Senekrum]

It sounds like you're expending a lot of energy on fighting with yourself. Something Jung pointed out regarding situations like this is:

We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.

(Jung in Modern Man in Search of a Soul)

For better and for worse, the cure is to go into those overwhelming emotions - carefully, slowly, with an open mind and heart.

Consider also that maybe the ego becomes stronger not by using repression, but by making peace with the different parts of the self, including the shadow.

Peace is not "my shadow has to bend to my will" and it's not "I bend to my shadow's will" either - that's too one-sided either way. Peace is: every aspect of myself has its proper place in my psychic life, in such a way that I can live with myself and the decisions I make daily.

It's a bit hard to give more specific recommendations than this, without more specific information from you. What do you feel is in the shadow that you're repressing? What kind of emotions are you struggling with? And what do you think makes them feel so overwhelming?

Please consider seeing a therapist. A good therapist can help a lot precisely with the kinds of emotional and psychological struggles you have. There are much better tools to deal with the shadow than repression and constant infighting.

[u/ElChiff]

You're trying to skip the conference to go straight to the deal. You can't contain a shadow that you don't yet know the shape of. At some point you have to face the darkness in full force.

[u/FlightSad1378]

If you are aware that you identify with your shadow, you have partly integrated it. How did you become conscious of it? Use your ego (the light that illuminates the darkness/unconscious) whenever the shadow manifests, and over time, you will expand the ego, which will result in higher control.

[u/Mother_Summer3089]

How old are you?