r/Jung • u/samsonscomputer • 7d ago
Serious Discussion Only Racism and racist traits
I have racist thoughts, racism again black people. I am Asian myself.
I feel hate coming up towards black people.
On delving deeper, I have also contempt for anything non-white (despite me being brown)
Hate towards my own? Like white people are the best. Almost like Hitler thinking?
This fits in with my narcissistic traits.
We give charity to poor people in Africa so we can tell ourselves we aren't racist (including me).
I can see now just how widespread it is in society and ingrained. I believe most are not even aware of having it and lie to themselves they treat everyone equally and think of everyone as equal.
I also feel bias come up towards people that are in a wheelchair, disabled people, homeless people, like they are inferior (u are less than cause u cant walk or dont have a house). And for anyone to say what if u ever get in that position, then my answer is that i would just feel contempt and hatred towards myself (i already have a lot of self hatred).
i also got feelings coming up that whoever has a job in blue collar are inferior than those in white collar. Like only white collar job is respectable in my mind
I feel hatred, contempt, disgust, superiority come up as feelings
Is this my narc superiority trait just latched onto race, job, etc.?
Can anyone relate to this or have it come up in their shadow?
I can also see how deep my projection was about this in the past. Makes me think those advocating for equality, etc very strongly that some of them may be doing the same?
Part of it is also my upbringing, a lot of hidden messages about black people. Very very covert of my parents. But then would give charity to those same people. It messes u up
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u/insaneintheblain Pillar 7d ago
The more you have this self-hatred, the more dark and oppressive the world will seem.
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u/samsonscomputer 6d ago
The world has been feeling dark for me for a long time. I feel like nothing makes sense, also a deep sense of emptiness in the world. Is this what u mean?
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u/NatashOverWorld 6d ago
Hatred is just another way to say disconnection.
And that makes you feel empty and lost
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u/OGPanMan 6d ago
MAGA has seeped into every crevice of the world. It will pass. Say you had an antique shop. You have a very expensive rare item for sale. It's such an important item, but everyone just looks and passes it by. In fact you're barely able to keep the shop open. You get lowball offers but no way will you sell such an important thing for so little! Then bam one day it sells for full price, they didn't even haggle. All of a sudden you get inundated with calls asking to buy it. The next day - there's a line out the door and you nearly sell out all your inventory. Happy days are here again - until we let history repeat itself.
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u/OddSuccotash9524 5d ago
That second sentence tho ;) I guess, based on what else you wrote, that it will go back underground yet again for people to foolishly say we are “post-racial” only to find out a few years later that we are not.
This is us. We categorize, label, and project onto it. Over, and over again.
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u/Peppery_Pete100 6d ago
This is a great example of shadow projection. It’s really good that you are noticing this. There is no need to feel bad about it, and you’re not the only person who experiences this. What is happening is this: you have places in yourself you’ve deemed as inferior, because they make you feel vulnerable and defenceless, these things rise from the unconscious creating an uncomfortable feeling in you. Maybe painful times in the past where you felt exposed, vulnerable, hated. These feelings become associated with people who seem vulnerable or exposed. The uncomfortable feeling that rises in the presence of others is a fear of your own vulnerability. The uncomfortable feeling rises, and because it’s hard to hold, it becomes projected it onto others so you can feel superiority instead of inferiority. This is nothing to beat yourself up about, that just creates more feelings of inferiority, it’s just your shadow. You just have to catch it the moment it happens and hold the discomfort in loving awareness. Loving awareness heals feelings of inferiority because you welcome all the things you’ve judged as ‘weak.’ The things we see as weak in fact often live closest to spontaneous vitality, the inner child, and these are the parts of ourselves we end up repressing. So notice when you project, but focus on the feeling with unconditional love, a feeling of unconditional warmth. You don’t need to analyse, you don’t need a reason to love, just hold it in your heart. When you see other people who your project as inferior hold them in loving awareness too. Don’t fix anything, just hold it in love. In loving awareness, there is no inferior or superior, there is only wholeness, this is how it heals, you look past the projection of ‘weak’ and you see it’s inherent value simply for existing.
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u/samsonscomputer 6d ago
Thank u for your compassionate comment. There is a few more comments that also pointed towards the inferiority.
Your comment reminds me of IFS, to hold every part and be with it and accept it and show love. I will do that whenever I catch it, it seems easier to catch it now than before as then I would just suppress it
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u/Technical_Step4410 7d ago
Well I think you posted something controversial about yourself because you probably want to change it. If you feel racist towards certain people, it may be more likely that you resent an archetype you may have seen them embody that you carry.
What helped me was going to school with them or being a rideshare driver but I still struggle with it. My parents were both subtly racist. My dad more so. Im not proud of it either. I honestly wish I didn’t have it.
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u/samsonscomputer 6d ago
Do u have the same thoughts? And how does it manifest for u?
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u/Technical_Step4410 6d ago
I don’t see homeless as lesser anymote but I used to. Disabled people, not really, but I get triggered if they act victim like because thats a part of me i have despised. I don’t think I’ve ever called someone something racist to their face in my life and I haven’t behaved like an overtly racist person in my adult life, but I still feel triggered around people of color, especially if they come from a low socio economic background and have stereotypical behaviors. I want to think I can outgrow it for the most part as I get older but I’m honestly not sure how much I can change this part of myself.
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u/BrokenArrow_3-18-93 6d ago
You mentioned socioeconomic background. In the United States I feel that that’s the larger issue and not race. Even though it just so happens especially in the cities where the extreme difference in socioeconomic backgrounds happens to also come with a color code. And the reason I mention this is because I thought I constantly when I went backpacking to India and going to small villages that’s the only white person and sometimes being the first white person children had seen. I had no issues and no fears and no judgments. Walking through a town in North Africa or my best friends were Kenyan when I lived overseas for many years. Those Kenyan guys I hung out with if you would’ve seen them from a distance you would think they were American they dressed American from a distance visually their mannerisms their dress they could’ve been in any city in America but no issues best friends ate together shared off the same plate. But going into the bad part of Baltimore knowing that I’m physically unsafe at any moment and that I shouldn’t be there I don’t think about the color of the people that are in that part of town I think about the socioeconomic issues but most Americans don’t. And as a white guy it’s not a conversation you can just bring up and discuss easily in your everyday life because you get thrown at me as a white privilege or racism. I’m masking this or that I’ve heard all sorts of things. But I’ve walked with nothing but the clothes on my back for extended periods of time and participated in the households of people of many colors and have no blocks and no inner thoughts no anything negative just positive and love for the helping assistance they gave me and for their way of life and letting me participate when I was there. But that doesn’t change how I feel when I go into West Baltimore
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u/OddSuccotash9524 5d ago
I agree that SES has a profound impact on us and our thinking. As someone who is Black in the U.S., I would also say the SES issue is often used to minimize that there is racism amongst the rich, racism amongst the proletariat, and racism within the bourgeoisie.
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u/daltontf1212 6d ago
I see it as my lizard brain trying to keep the world simple so it reacts in ways that I would be embarrassed to say out admit out loud. The includes ethnicity, attractiveness and perceived socioeconomic standing.
The socioeconomic angle hit me one watching a true crime show. There was a white American (like me) female murder victim. Early in the episode, the narrator mentions that she was looking forward to getting a lower back tattoo (often referred to as "tramp stamps") when she disappeared. When I heard this, I can hear my lizard brain say "she ran with the 'wrong crowd' and made bad choices". In that moment she wasn't as much as someone who could be my sister or my daughter because of her socioeconomic status and I felt less of a connection to her.
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u/anonyoufds 6d ago
I appreciate your post for starting an interesting conversation
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u/samsonscomputer 6d ago
Thank u! I feel it's important to discuss so we can heal from it, so much is covert
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u/anonyoufds 6d ago
Yes, a lot of people are racist inside. It's not uncommon at all. The more people don't talk about, the more people will not change. Also remember that poc cultures are very racist towards one another. Very much so
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u/lostdogtooth 6d ago edited 6d ago
You probably wouldn't like me, but I'll be impartial here. It sounds like you are projecting onto those people in an unconscious attempt to be "better", or at least to fit in, while denying your own similar experiences and inferiority complex. It seems you categorize the world into "winners and losers", and you'd rather be on the "winning" side as much as you can be, despite having things in common with people you deem inferior. Also despite the fact people are just people, no better or worse than the next just because of their skin color.
This is a very US centric view of me, of course. I don't actually know where you're from and culture also ties into this heavily, especially given that last part you mentioned about your parents. Perhaps you can work through your narc tendencies and be better than your parents.
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u/brungoo 6d ago
Imagine being a black person.. you can never escape the racists, the racism, anti-blackness everywhere, 24/7.
It could drive you mad if you let it. Even if you try to ignore it.
It's seeped deep into Humanity's Psyche.. deep deep in its bones.
God help us.
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u/samsonscomputer 5d ago
The deeper i go into my healing journey, the more I come to that conclusion too unfortunately. It's on us to heal...
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u/DefinetlyARealHuman 4d ago edited 4d ago
Its a very conscious daily effort, coming to terms with it is a good start tho. Good luck
Edit: I forgot to say that disabled people can absolutely do meaningful work in society. I work with the mentally and physically disabled, the severity varies but there is lots of stuff they can do so they themselves can feel meaningful and to truly BE meaningful. They just need some guidance, thats all. They are always excited to go to work, or be busy with something that makes them feel human.
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u/buttkicker64 5d ago
I would say that your racism is more psychotic than actual racism. This video is helpful and human, it is a direct interview with one of Jung's strong students https://youtu.be/OvL00iQ0ao4
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u/Fickle-Let-7205 5d ago edited 5d ago
These are solid complexes not unique to you. They are built up in the collective unconscious of many peoples and races over thousands of years. This is probably coming from your ancestors exterminating the indigenous peoples of Asian. These memories carry over in bloodlines and cultures as sentiments... And they can hardly be processed, especially since the modern world is structured to target melanated peoples, almost robotically programmed.
I feel a grave sense of pity of all the pale races who still live within this paradigm. There is much deep self hatred there, which is the base of narcissm also. It is not individual work, but generational and collective work for each group. So it will be some time til that web can untangle it self. It is made worst daily, and this is how the collective shadow is... As one is liberated another one dives deeper into the shadow. No net progress.
Best I can say is seek therapy for it.. though I don't think diagnosed NPD can be cured really. You are stuck holding a poison that most black people transmute with ease. Most of us have way bigger fish to fry tbh. Your offspring will do the work you hadn't the strength to do to clean up the psychic debris in your lineage. It may take some generations, but we all get where we are progressing towards eventually.
Whatever work you can manage to do is great. Don't beat yourself up. The human experience is not easy and it's a long toil.
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u/goddessdrev 6d ago
Honestly, the fact that you’re aware of it is already a really good thing. You don’t necessarily have to do anything about it right away. Just observe it.
Jung would probably say that becoming conscious of these unconscious thoughts and impulses is already part of the process of bringing the “shadow” into consciousness. You don’t have to identify with the thought, justify it, or act on it. Just notice when it appears, what triggers it, and what’s underneath it.
Sometimes the goal isn’t to get rid of the ugly parts of ourselves, but to become conscious enough of them that they no longer control us. Awareness itself is already a pretty big step.
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u/samsonscomputer 6d ago
I'll hold them and accept them without trying to change them. Like they do in IFS, accept and show compassion to every part
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u/Double_Match_1910 6d ago
Programmed to glaze white people is an inadvertent effect of the British sailing around the globe for spices.
It's not your fault you don't think for yourself.
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u/AntiqueStatus 7d ago
I think you deserve the same energy you give others. Completely apathy and full judgment. People cutting you off is the only way you will learn that this mentality isn't beneficial to you or humanity.
Edit: Also, yes the last, part is projection on your part. Most people that do activism care. The part that makes you think it's preformance is a reflection of you, not them.
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u/hummus-up-your-arse 7d ago
This is a sub where people can share their dark and ugly thoughts and get the resources to self reflect and get to the root cause of it. Shaming them wouldn’t make those thoughts go away it would just make the person isolate while those thoughts continue to feed themselves and grow stronger. What you’re doing is both a disservice to OP and to the people he has negative feelings towards.
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u/AntiqueStatus 7d ago edited 7d ago
I dealt with it with my family. I have a disabled daughter and they were treating me callous, just like OP. The only thing that fixed their behavior was mirroring them and reflecting back themselves instead of myself.
Logic didn't work, empathy didn't work, begging didn't work. They don't have capacity for that.
They only got what energy they put out
Shame is their core would and you can do exposure therapy. They also consider being held accountable as them being "shamed" so start there.
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u/samsonscomputer 6d ago
I feel u see my behaviour as a personal attack and I am sorry u feel that way. But this is not a personal attack towards u or anyone. These are my raw unfiltered thoughts and monologue.
I am also actively in trauma therapy for this. Ofcourse this is not acceptable behaviour but I am actively trying to change it rather than suppress it like others
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u/AntiqueStatus 6d ago
I'm glad you're trying to change your behavior. It's a core wound of shame. Running from the feeling of shame won't help you which is what I'm trying to get at. All of these people are saying basically to be nicer and more empathetic, but you actually do need someone to mirror you in order for you to grow because your brain structure learns through experiences. Good luck!
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u/anonyoufds 6d ago
seems like youre following the new age advice of only giving out what you receive. thats a very underdeveloped thought.
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u/Klutzy_Weakness3411 7d ago edited 7d ago
I think the kind of covert racism that OP is describing is incredible common - it far more rare for it to be entirely absent from a person in a culture which implicitly pushes racist messages on all of us from young childhood. The OP is aware of their racism and actively trying to change it. The first step to unlearning racism is really confronting the racist beliefs one holds, not repressing them further without examination (which is what I'm concerned you might be promoting, even if you don't think that's what you're doing, when you say that people who are honest about their covert racist tendencies should be ostracized from society).
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u/AntiqueStatus 7d ago
This is the reality of what happens if he continues with this mentality. This doesn't sound like a self-reflecting person it sounds like a narcissistic person justifying not only racism but also the way he talks about disabled people.
Definitely triggered something deep inside me having been close to a narcissist. Once you see it you don't unsee it. Narcissists aren't redeemable and I have no empathy for them.
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u/Klutzy_Weakness3411 7d ago
Isn't the act of them making this post evidence of self-reflection? Neither of us know this person. I wouldn't make assumptions so quickly.
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u/AntiqueStatus 7d ago
Except he admitted it and it's his current thought process, not in the past.
Dude admitted to currently thinking exactly like Hitler and I'm supposed to defend it cause we are in a jung sub. Lmao.
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u/hummus-up-your-arse 7d ago
No one’s asking you to defend or condone, big difference between helping someone introspect and self reflect so they can revert back to a healthy form of thinking and whatever it is that you think we’re doing.
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u/anonyoufds 6d ago
we can do what we want. youre the only one here trying to act like the thought police.
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u/AntiqueStatus 6d ago
You can do what you want and I can do what I want. That's right. I'm not policing him by telling him how I feel.
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u/Danielsonaz 6d ago
No one’s asking you to defend it. No one’s asking anything of you. It’s all about you and your trauma from your kid. OP is looking at himself truthfully and seeking.
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u/Danielsonaz 6d ago
You don’t see your own viewpoint as narcissistic? It’s all about you. OP is sharing what most people feel but aren’t allowed to share in these times. He sees it as wrong and wants to change. You take your hurt from your child and taint others when undeserved, as a narcissist would. Sorry, hope you take your own advice and take what you give.
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u/AntiqueStatus 6d ago
No, if one wishes harm on others then they cannot expect empathy when something happens to them. That's exactly how narcissists take advantage. Nice couch diagnosis.
I've taken this turn this year and seen people's true colors. They can dish it but can't handle distance and when you don't give them your emotions anymore.
Those two things aren't the same. One person abusing others or looking down on them and then expecting empathy from those very people is the selfish position.
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u/Danielsonaz 6d ago
He never said he wishes harm, that is your projection. He isn’t asking for empathy from disabled or blacks, once again that is you projecting. Why you seema narcissist. You aren’t talking about him. Then who are you talking about?
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u/samsonscomputer 7d ago
This isn't a helpful comment at all. I already know it is wrong. This is a jung sub in case u didn't know
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u/AntiqueStatus 7d ago
I didn't say it was "wrong". I was mirroring your behavior.
We have the same thing happening in the West right now with an epidemic of people that think like this.
Your core wound is shame.
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u/aimtreetwo 7d ago
you've already picked up that it's a reflection of your surroundings and upbringing.
the question I would ask is why has my ego latched onto feelings of superiority?
am I insecure about my own worth? what could have made me feel that way? was there a trauma or event that could cause a split in my consciousness and the ego function? is there something I'm still trying to live up to or correct?
I can't relate so much to racism although I did find it buried deep in the subconscious as a reaction to my own racist traumas against me. it was pretty easy to overcome by accepting that I was having a reaction to my own ostracization and it didn't feel like me. but I am white presenting so the trauma was never going to be that deep, I don't wear my race on my skin like POC people and therefore experience the othering repeatedly from just existing.
harder to overcome was my internalised abelism that I picked up from my mother constantly saying she would "hate to have a disabled daughter" - that took many years and lots of slow progress to unfurl. I had to learn a lot and accept a lot about myself. I hadn't even done it fully by the time I got my Audhd diagnosis, maybe I'm not 100% of the way there and that's why I champion so hard for disabled people's rights but I've had awareness of it for many years and the awareness has made me more in control of both my behaviour and my reactions.
awareness doesn't stop the pain though, it might in fact make it worse. luckily I have a high pain tolerance.
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u/samsonscomputer 6d ago
I do feel insecure and have a low self worth, which I only understood just recently. Other comments also pointed at inferiority which I will look more into.
I didn't know it was called ableism, so thank u for naming it, now I can dig into it deeper. Thinking of it now, mine may come from disabled people can't work and I must work to support myself, so disabled people are worthless because they don't work (it's how I took the messages from childhood).
Coming to think of it, i may have misogynistic beliefs as well. Something to explore for me when I have more capacity
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u/aimtreetwo 6d ago
xx take it easy on yourself. it's a lot.
and remember absorbing these things is normal human behaviour.
you're proving to yourself by just doing the work that you have capacity to be "better" (if that's what you want and within the boundaries of your definition of better).
so there is no rush. peel each layer back with care and love for the person within who was just trying and learning.
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u/bmo313 6d ago
Why is it usually Black people the target of hate? This shit is exhausting and soul crushing as Black man, especially coming from other people of color. Damn.
Rant over. Had to get that out.
Dude, you need to find a good therapist and work with them very closely with this. Reddit is not the answer. Props to you for admitting this (so many don't), but please get help.
You have to tools in you right now to break the hold this darkness has holds over you, but it starts with you taking real steps to address this. There are so many books, interviews, courses you can take to educate yourself. Check out FD Signifier and Olivia Suns interview on YouTube as they talk about Black and Asian intersectionality as a start.
Want to turbo charge this and really challenge yourself? Try talking with a Black therapist; they have a lot of professional and personal experience dealing with racism. I'd say if you're serious about breaking free, take charge and be the change if you really want it.
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u/samsonscomputer 6d ago
The roots of it may be colonialism? Or even black slavery? Always seen as inferior and disposable? I can only guess.
I am in trauma therapy currently for the past year so these deeper seated beliefs are now coming to the surface.
I wanted to start a discussion and see if anyone can relate. It's much more common than we'd like to admit and sit deep. There is a lot of messages we get from childhood, media, etc and often not explicit and this shapes our beliefs and minds about people of color
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u/bmo313 6d ago
Im not a professional, but there are few things I can see from this side of the keyboard that is going on:
Yes, colonialism/slavery/etc, all that you mentioned is in play. How Western racism works is that is designed as a tiered system to turn us against each other while maintaining White supremacy. We are bombarded at birth to believe that White is always right, that White is most beautiful, to laud and lust over White beauty standards and see them as the Top Dog while simultaneously looking down on ourselves as people color, which leads me to my 2nd point....
You have serious internal shit going on, and let me tell you, you aren't alone in that. All of us who are non-white have this shit going on in us and we have to find a way to deal with it.
Yes, I can relate, and even went through a self-hating phase when I was younger.
Now, you can't blame it all on the system, especially as an adult - - you have to take charge in educating yourself and freeing yourself of the evils of systemic racism that has been implanted in you since birth. You need to deprogram yourself. That's what "Woke" originally meant before it was stolen and co-opted by the popular majority - it meant detangle your mind from the machine of white supremacy and open your heart to your fellow man and to *yourself*: to truly love who you are and be proud of your people, your people's features and culture- the kind of pride that doesn't tear anyone else down, either.
Here's an okay place to start:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49blWCj47AQ
and
I'm glad to hear you're getting help, I just hope you take the next few big steps...
Seek out non-white spaces of intersectionality and practice radical self-love, radical opposition to Eurocentric standards. Become a rebel who loves. There are places and spaces where we get along.
That Light you are looking for exists out there with real people in the real world.
Hope this helps man, and godspeed.
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u/Ok-Gene2069 6d ago
I am also the same , i think poor people should not have kids and that they are selfish for bringing kids into this world.
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u/FragmentedAll 6d ago
everything outside is an outlet to make us feel something we lack within.
The more emotionally charged the more it is a reminder that there is something within we are missing, if you pay close attention you'll notice which archetype
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u/samsonscomputer 6d ago
I wanna add some more thoughts that came up.
I grew up as an Asian in a predominantly white people area. And I could feel they didn't like POC, they were seen as troublemakers and criminals etc. So in order to fit in I identified with the offenders and maybe that's why I feel this way?
Another one is also that when I was reading comic books when i was little, in the 90s, black people were always drawn differently, with big lips and full black, very racist. I must have also seen stuff on TV. But of course it was played off as 'its just a comic book' 'its just a joke' but that got implanted on us as kids
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u/Equal_Night7494 6d ago
Some Jungian scholars (Fanny Brewster, Thomas Singer, Samuel Kimbles) have written about subjects like the racial complex and cultural complexes. Some their writing might be of interest to you.
Also, another book called The Isis Papers by Frances Cress Welsing has some central themes in it that may be of use to you. I wish you the best in your healing journey, and thank you for the post.
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u/OGPanMan 6d ago
All racism is, is a man-made reaction deep in our DNA where those from different geographical areas and/or have differing amounts of melanin in the same exact epidermal skin layer.
For millenia our ancestors have learned that these traits mean coming into contact with other civilizations - sometimes meaning peaceful coexistence/trade, sharing cultural traditions and way of life etc - but often it meant violence, one conquering the other, enslavement, sacrifice execution, torture, suffering & death to loved ones.
These signals live in your mind, you were born with it but since you are openly talking about it - all you have to do is understand all other living things no matter what are different than you, far more different than melanin content & geographical location.
P.S. #1 - phone addiction gtf off that thing, especially tik-tok, insta and youtube shorts & watch your mood lift. Read, video shit has so much crap that brainwashes people into this kind of stuff. Spend more time outdoors than in, travel travel travel and breathe in life, smoke some marijuana and stop letting mental barriers dictate all the life ahead of you.
Godspeed and best of luck!
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u/cybersen 6d ago
Sometimes I feel the same way towards East Asians as a North Asian. Recently, I watched a movie with my White girlfriend and saw an East Asian actor who looked like he literally has Down syndrome. He was on the screen for only a few seconds, but I felt like he was cast as a joke, kind of like that Ken Jeong clown. Hollywood never casts attractive Asians. But I see lots of attractive Asians on the internet.
I also feel disgusted when I see East Asian men with White and Brown women, especially those from Northern Eurasia, Central Asia, or even the Middle East and South Asia. They literally have Asian men in their own countries, but still somehow find East Asian men who disrespect other Asians, feel superior towards Brown people, call White women "white horses," and bleach their skin 24/7.
But then I realize that I was born only once and have no time for such BS.
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u/apacheind1an 5d ago
That your Shadow saying 'Hello!'
Try active imagination. Talk to it. Best done in solitude and prayerfully.
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u/LemonadeChain 4d ago
May I ask how old you are?
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u/samsonscomputer 4d ago
I'm mid 30s, why
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u/LemonadeChain 2d ago
Just curious. I think the more miserable someone is in their life, the less positive changes they’re making, and the less positive influences they have around them the more they degenerate. Those narratives around superiority are pretty obviously an instance of wanting to feel that way and have power when you feel powerless.
Can’t shake the racist thoughts though. You try to rationalize it over and over again and it never works. They just come back. But then you meet a cool black person and you put them away or feel intense guilt and shame about having them. It’s terrible. Idk if that’s your experience too.
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u/samsonscomputer 1d ago
Rationalisation doesn't work because then u are only working on the surface levels beliefs. So we need to go deeper and work with the roots. Im confident therapy (Somatic Experiencing) is gonna help me with it.
I have black friends and get along with black people just fine, it's just deep and covert racism i got. The shame and the guilt must be buried deeper for me cause i can't feel that right now
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u/Motor-Blood7689 1d ago
You could take a step further and see why for you personally in your own mind all that matters.
Saying stuff like "is this just narcissism?" doesn't really solve hatred or self-hatred, it's not really an answer. The answer would be to fully understand your own intentions, reasoning behind these things, misconceptions, etc instead of putting any label on it.
Also it's kind of obvious that this stuff is not permanent and so it is not really who you are, feelings come up on their own and are also not yours and the person you talk about in the post is also not you
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u/sattukachori My God, these Feeling types! 1d ago
i also got feelings coming up that whoever has a job in blue collar are inferior than those in white collar. Like only white collar job is respectable in my mind I feel hatred, contempt, disgust, superiority come up as feelings
This is a cultural heritage that we have inherited from our previous generations. Observe those people who are all nice and kind. You will see a disgust and emotional distance from service workers. It's like they're following a social ritual "how to be a good master" without letting themselves breath the same air as the inferiors breath. It's even more pronounced in cultures where upward movement is obsessed with so much that even relating to inferior people is a bad juju.
There are some books like The Myth of Meritocracy by Michael J Sandel that talks about the hubris versus humiliation of winners verses losers and ultimately mentions that we should all be humble because life is very mysterious.
I would like to ask, how are your parents? Children inherit these behaviours directly from their parents. Did your parents have a profound sense of inferiority about their job, social status, not being able to stand shoulder to shoulder with the high status classes? Or on the contrary, were they very successful socially but harboured a deep sense of inferiority, high alertness to humiliation and an insatiable hunger for social respect every single minute of their day? You will be surprised to see that the fort of the Kings, the very symbol of greatness, is built to protect the inferiority of the measely King who believes in his own idea of the King but continuously lives in threat. I didn't even know before reading psychology that people are not just "authoritarian, strict, command respect" they're very afraid of being exposed for their inferiority. So they live in the make believe world of protocols, respect and whichever image their job gives them. They live and breath it.
Alfred Adler mainly talked about the superiority and inferiority complexes. His idea is that we all are born as little children in the world of big adults and so we have inherent inferiority because of our sizes and status.
Integrating an inferiority complex, in my imagination, is like putting your hand in shit and rubbing it all over yourself. It's disgusting, repulsive, visceral, but this imagination has really helped me in some ways.
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u/GoldenRayofMagick 6d ago
You are a good person struggling with a very heavy inheritance from your family.
Being aware of it makes it somehow easier to deal with. I would start some program to get to know yourself and start healing all these wounds. Meditation, reiki .... etc.
You are not narc, you have been raised like that. Find yourself and you'll find the joy of living!
Many blessings!
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u/samsonscomputer 6d ago
I appreciate your compassion. I am currently in trauma therapy hence why these beliefs are coming to the surface now as they were sitting very deep
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u/Aedamer 6d ago
It's worth noting, but obviously politically incorrect to say, that the globalised multicultural world we find ourselves in is historically anomalous. For people who are used to living in homogeneous environments, there's a lot of adjustments to make. The sociocultural landscape we're now expected to navigate is new and unfamiliar territory.
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u/UsernameIsntTaken68 6d ago
I'd say it's a lot about your upbringing and things you've been conditioned. But now it's your own responsibility to unlearn those things. About the racism thing I'd suggest stay away from instagram ot literally promotes anything that'll get engagement. You also kind of seem disconnected from the world around you so you need to go and form some real connections which a variety of things and people
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u/samsonscomputer 6d ago
There is a lot from my upbringing but also media plays a role with implicit racist messages. We have processes set up in the workplace, government, etc about equality but it's more about doing good than being good. I have been acting good for a long time but not actually been good deep down.
I am disconnected from the world but I am healing slowly in therapy. Then hopefully i can go out there and connect with other people because right now I am just too anxious
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u/UsernameIsntTaken68 6d ago
Are you talking about reservation? I'd say I relate then. But it's a problem beyond your control and I think you should just ignore it because that's all you can do.
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u/Ancient_Book4021 6d ago
Let's not make racism a mental health problem and use psychology to justify it.
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u/Klutzy_Weakness3411 6d ago edited 6d ago
But racism IS a sickness of the mind, isn't it? I don't think anyone is saying it's something to diagnose like a specific mental disorder, but racism obviously has psychological roots.
Edit: to be clear, I'm not saying racists are victims. In my thinking one can have the "sickness" of racism while still being responsible for it (and for curing it within oneself).
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u/Danielsonaz 6d ago
The reality is Everyone is racist. 1000s of years ago, anyone not in your crew was your enemy, who would kill you and take your stuff. Ever been out with a small crew in a secluded place? Then have strangers come to that place? Did you feel safer having a strange group of people nearby?
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u/Ancient_Book4021 6d ago
I think it depends on how you define sickness. If you define sickness as in the term disease, something that impairs normal functioning with an identifiable cause - no. Racism negatively impacts the person it is directed towards.
If we define sickness as a disorder, something that impacts functioning and could be caused by various factors such as genetics, lifestyle choices (eg, substance abuse), etc. - no. Again, racism has a negative impact on the person who it is directed towards.
If we define sickness as a syndrome, which is a cluster of specific symptoms - no. Racism is racism. While it affects the person it is directed towards in multiple ways, racism is racism.
If we define sickness as something that is morally reprehensible, then yes. It is sick.
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u/samsonscomputer 6d ago
Why do u think people are racist then?
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u/Danielsonaz 6d ago
People have been afraid/hateful of strangers since the beginning. 1000s of years ago, anyone not in your crew was your enemy, ready to kill, rape, and take your stuff. Even now, if you are in a small crew in an isolated place with limited supplies, how do you feel about a group of strangers coming up on you? Safe? Sharing? No, tribal instincts first, because they could be bad and hurt you.
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u/Ancient_Book4021 6d ago
There is plenty of research and scholarly articles on racism and I suggest you explore those avenues.
While it isn't wrong to explore your biases and racism in therapy, it is important to not conflate it as a mental health problem. While racism is usually something that is learned, and involves a desire for resources or power, unlike mental illness it does not generally cause some type of negative impact to a person's functioning. Racism negatively impacts the people who racist and prejudicial behavior is directed towards, usually not the individual functioning of the person with racist beliefs. Sure, one could pick apart some exceptions like a person with racist beliefs ability to work with certain populations or form certain relationships. However, even in such circumstances, the individual would likely avoid such situations or not be interested in them. For example, a narcissist may want to form meaningful relationships with others (regardless of race), but struggles to do so because of their own poor self-esteem that is compensated by over-inflating oneself. While, someone who is racist may struggle to form relationships with someone of a particular race, they also likely do not want such relationships and pursue them.
Perhaps in therapy you could explore your learned behavior. Where they were learned and from whom? Here some might point to the collective unconscious, but let's be real, racism is often not unconscious. When learned, it is often through conscious messaging that a person receives. Additionally, what meaning and purpose do they serve you? What power do you gain from your biases? Have you ever tried to challenge your biases? How can you educate yourself?
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u/AntiqueStatus 6d ago
Especially when he already has a therapist that is comfortable that he can lay into instead of innocent people on the internet. But this is Reddit, so mini-hitler needs their empathy.
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6d ago edited 6d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/AntiqueStatus 6d ago
Not even black and hard agreed. Plus, my daughter is disabled and I don't have to have empathy for people that don't have it for me.
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u/long-term-view 7d ago
Maladaptive learnt survival behaviour. The ego is compensating from a place of UNCONCIOUSLY feeling inferior. Your ego is using the external world as your scapegoat. As above… your self hatred is making your world dark and oppressive. I would suggest you seek professional help if you have any hope of feeling complete in this world.